humans.txt • Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page. https://www.pnarp.com/ Copyright © 1999–2024 Phillip Norbert Årp (Pnårp). All wrights preserved. Version 7.339.0.0.3479, built 2024-11-27T12:14:20-05:00. ============================================================================== ___ _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ \_ _ (_)_ _ _ _ __( )___ __| |___ __(_) |___ __ _ _ _ __| | | _/ ' \/ _` | '_| '_ \/(_-< / _` / _ \/ _| | / -_) / _` | ' \/ _` | |_| |_||_\__,_|_| | .__/ /__/ \__,_\___/\__|_|_\___| \__,_|_||_\__,_| |_| __ _ __ _ __ ___ _ _ / _|_ _ _ _ __| |_ ___ _ _ _ _ .-' | | '_ \/ -_) '_| _| || | ' \/ _| _/ _ \ '_| || | / <\| | .__/\___|_| |_| \_,_|_||_\__|\__\___/_| \_, | / \' |_| |__/ |_.- @ @ _ __ __ _ __ _ ___ / C -._)\ | '_ \/ _` / _` / -_) /', O | | .__/\__,_\__, \___| ...!! | `-,_,__,' |_| |___/ (,,)====[_]=| '. ____/================================================================== | -|-|_ |____)_) This page is for humans! If you’re a gnome, get out! Out! /* TEAM */ Author: Phillip Norbert Årp (Pnårp) Location: 229B Bouillabaisse Boulevard, the United Spates URL: https://www.pnarp.com/ Contact: https://www.pnarp.com/contact/ Dreamwidth: https://pnarp.dreamwidth.org/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pnarp Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pnarps.docile.and.perfunctory.page Gravatar: https://en.gravatar.com/pnarp LiveJournal: https://pnarp.livejournal.com/ Mastodon: https://toot.community/@pnarp Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/user/pnarp/ Twitter: @pnaarp Coauthor (when I go out of my gourd): My sister Plårp URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Plarp/ Editor: The Editor URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/The_Editor/ Webmaster: My IT Morlocks URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/IT_Morlocks/ My huzzey-muffet: Becasue URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Becasue/ /* THANKS */ My nose. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/nose/ My sister Plårp – Pollyanna Louisa Årp (we call her Plårp, naturally). URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Plarp/ My brother Grårp – Gregory Richard Årp (we call him Grårp). URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Grarp/ My mother Mamårp – My dear old Mamårp. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Mamarp/ My father Papårp – My dear old Papårp. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Paparp/ My daughter Prårp – Phillippa Roberta Årp (we call her Prårp). URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Prarp/ My grandpooty Fnårp – My dear old grandpooty Philbert Nyarlathotep Årp. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Fnarp/ My cousin Mlårp – Marla Larla Årp (we call her Mlårp). URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Mlarp/ My cousin Clårp – Cuthbert Ludwig Årp (we try not to call him at all). URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Clarp/ Beatrice I.T. Carparker-Harshbarger – Thaddeus C.L. Harshbarger’s sister… with such apt initials. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Beatrice_I.T._Carparker-Harshbarger/ Becasue – My big little blonde redheaded huzzey-muffet. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Becasue/ Madame Beaux Pieds – Proprietor of the local brothel on Gropecunt Lane. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Madame_Beaux_Pieds/ Borb McBorbley – Manager of the local Hormel spam-canning plant, 9-1-1 operator, and more. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Borb_McBorbley/ Borbra McBorbley – Cashier and waitress. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Borbra_McBorbley/ Catlips the Clown – Dear old Catlips, my beloved childhood hero. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Catlips_the_Clown/ Charlie Witherspoonworth. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Charlie_Witherspoonworth/ David Pinnfarb – Captain of the HMS Gormless Bastard and a Knib-Knob Gnome. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/David_Pinnfarb/ The derbfine and obolus men. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/derbfine_and_obolus_men/ Dinglebuckey – The best hamster in the Universe. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Dinglebuckey/ Dirk Dirk McGuirk – A cheddar machinist who spent most of his life in the Arizona State Prison. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Dirk_Dirk_McGuirk/ The Editor – The Editor of Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/The_Editor/ Engelbert Vlabbitteehoothie – My lawyer. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Engelbert_Vlabbitteehoothie/ Eunice F.G Harshbarger – Thaddeus C.L. Harshbarger’s daughter… Baa-aa-aa-a-a-a! URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Eunice_F.G._Harshbarger/ Fendippitous Eggmen – The Fendippitous Eggmen came for me… from the Brundlesphere. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Fendippitous_Eggmen/ The fimbriated man. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/fimbriated_man/ Forb McBorbley. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Forb_McBorbley/ Fyodor Vyacheslavovich Tvalashvili – My ex-neighbor from Georgia. He tried to beat Yappie with a garnering-pole! URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Fyodor_Vyacheslavovich_Tvalashvili/ Genevieve von Sträsmussenbörg – The Countess-Prelate von Sträsmussenbörg’s daughter. She has nice… geese! URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Genevieve_von_Strasmussenborg/ Gerhardt Groompkin – Judge. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Gerhardt_Groompkin/ The girl-next-refrigerator. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/girl-next-refrigerator/ Glick Glick van der Glick – Some friend of Grumfeld van der Spooijwanker. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Glick_Glick_van_der_Glick/ Gnaddeus Underdong McDoggerel Kleinbutt – Another new, new neighbor of mine! URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Gnaddeus_Underdong_McDoggerel_Kleinbutt/ Gra – Trained assassin. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Gra/ Gravitor – The dread god of falling objects. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Gravitor/ Grumfeld van der Spooijwanker – My newest best friend whom I’d never met before today! URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Grumfeld_van_der_Spooijwanker/ Haldûrburðgar – Gnome king and my arch-nemesis. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Haldurburthgar/ The Hammurderer – A mischievous, homicidal imp who kills McDonaldland characters and takes their sandwiches. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/The_Hammurderer/ Harry Whyte – Owner of Harry Whyte’s Asshattery on Wiggensworth Street. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Harry_Whyte/ The Harshbargers – Owners of the local haberdashery (next to the fishmongery and asshattery on Wiggensworth Street). URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/The_Harshbargers/ Herbert Hebert Hobbes – Owner of H.H. Hobbes’ Hobnailery on the corner of Hoboken Street and Hobbyhorse Lane. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Herbert_Hebert_Hobbes/ Iggy Kalamazoo-Kintaki-Meeps – Insect god. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Iggy_Kalamazoo-Kintaki-Meeps/ St. Joe Kowalski – …Of the Bronx. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/St._Joe_Kowalski/ José Vargas de las Joyas Matemáticas. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Jose_Vargas_de_las_Joyas_Matematicas/ Julian Rhoodie – Mayor of my tiny little town. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Julian_Rhoodie/ Karl Winerboffer. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Karl_Winerboffer/ Laundry Matt’s. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Laundry_Matts/ Loquisha – My sandal-footed little brown Loquisha… with the biggest damn bubble butt you ever did see! URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Loquisha/ Lucy Goosey – My pet goose (like my pet moose). URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Lucy_Goosey/ Mr. M’Nummenschantz – A poetaster. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Mr._MNummenschantz/ Mooey – My pet cow. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Mooey/ Moosey – My pet moose (like my pet goose). URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Moosey/ Mortimer Harshbarger – The local haberdasher from the local haberdashery (next to the fishmongery and asshattery on Wiggensworth Street). URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Mortimer_Harshbarger/ Rev. Nahum G. Dalhousie – The sole survivor of the 1829 treacle mine explosion. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Nahum_Dalhousie/ Nar-Bibbly the Moon Rock – Niz-bubbit! Bubb-nizzit! Nar-Bibbly the Moon Rock! A nut-bubbet! A-bubbah-nubbitt! Nizniz! Nizgidget! Nizgidge Ridge! URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Nar-Bibbly_the_Moon_Rock/ The neighbors. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/neighbors/ The new neighbor – The new next-door neighbor after Mr. Wilson vanished. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/new_neighbor/ Norb McBorbley. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Norb_McBorbley/ St. Norbert – St. Norbert of Xanten, my middle-namesake. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/St._Norbert/ Nurdlebutt – My pet cat. May be a goat. Not sure. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Nurdlebutt/ Ol’ Bummie – The stable keeper of the local stumblebum stables. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Ol_Bummie/ Mr. Ollanthorpe – From southern Moravia. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Mr._Ollanthorpe/ Pam & Meg – Owners of the local eigencafé… with the loveliest pink flip-flops! URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Pam_and_Meg/ Parndiddle McForsterbaster – Lived his entire life on the head of a pin. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Parndiddle_McForsterbaster/ Peter Pfister-Fassbinder. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Peter_Pfister-Fassbinder/ President Piggy-Man – President of the United Spates for as long as I can remember. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/President_Piggy-Man/ Mr. Plerkle – A poetaster. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Mr._Plerkle/ Porb McBorbley – Captain of the Zeno’s Paradox, a ship of some sort. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Porb_McBorbley/ Pow, Biff, and Zork – My coworkers from the Hormel spam-canning plant. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Pow,_Biff,_and_Zork/ Prudence Farnston – The bluest of blue-hairs and chairwoman of the local Distemperance League. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Prudence_Farnston/ Psycho Chicken With Fingers On Top – My favorite cartoon chicken. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Psycho_Chicken_With_Fingers_On_Top/ Ravna Olegg-Thorssondóttir – My porcelain-white, hoosie-fessed, little skeetch-truncheon with ten of the most delectable toes you ever did see! URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Ravna_Olegg-Thorssondottir/ Richard Dreckers Sr. – Samuel Dreckers’ grandpooty. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Richard_Dreckers_Sr./ Richard Uptown Pluckman. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Richard_Uptown_Pluckman/ Roy G. Biv – A poetaster and the most colorful man in the world! URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Roy_G._Biv/ Samuel Dreckers – Trained assassin specializing in garrotting people (like me!) in their sleep. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Samuel_Dreckers/ Sela-Dûr – Keeper of cellar doors, always in my way, in full gnomish battle dress. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Sela-Dur/ Smelley – Fyodor Vyacheslavovich Tvalashvili’s Carpathian Stinking Hound. Man, does he ever smell! URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Smelley/ Mr. Smuthabupple – Owner of Mr. Smuthabupple’s Organic Farm. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Mr._Smuthabupple/ The Sneŗtman – The Sneŗtman cometh…! URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Snertman/ Mr. Snulbug – A poetaster. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Mr._Snulbug/ Strahazazhia Kalamazoo-Kintaki-Meeps – Voluptuous insect goddess. She of the six-legged delights! URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Strahazazhia_Kalamazoo-Kintaki-Meeps/ Countess-Prelate von Sträsmussenbörg. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Countess-Prelate_von_Strasmussenborg/ Szczerbaczewicz & Smith – Owners of the local butchery shoppery on Swithenby Street. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Szczerbaczewicz_and_Smith/ Thaddeus C.L. Harshbarger – The erstwhile local haberdasher from the local haberdashery (next to the fishmongery and asshattery on Wiggensworth Street). URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Thaddeus_C.L._Harshbarger/ Thudley – No, Thudley! Not Thudley! URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Thudley/ Mr. Tripeman – The sempiternal, everlasting afficionado of sheep entrails. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Mr._Tripeman/ Dr. Unterguggenburgerheimer – Ph.D., M.D., J.D., S.T.D., d. 2011. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Dr._Unterguggenburgerheimer/ Veesey-Koosey – Owner of Veesey-Koosey’s Geesey-Goosey Pub. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Veesey-Koosey/ Comrade Volgolskin™. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Comrade_Volgolskin/ Wiebe van der Woobie – My favorite across-the-street neighbor. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Mr._Van_der_Woobie/ Wilbur P. Elmot – The owner of the Zubenelgenubi Street paperclip factory. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Wilbur_P._Elmot/ Mr. Wilson – My favorite next-door neighbor… who disappeared without a trace! URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Mr._Wilson/ Yappie – My faithful Carpathian Yapping Hound. URL: https://www.pnarp.com/tags/Yappie/ And NO THANKS to the geese, the gnomes, the gnutes, and the gnizzles! /* SITE */ Copyright: Copyright © 1999–2024 Phillip Norbert Årp (Pnårp). All wrights preserved. Doctype: XHTML IDE: pen and paper, my fingers, my buttocks, my nose Language: en-US, x-gnomish Last update: 2024/11/27 Powered by: Gnomes... thousands upon thousands of gnomes... Server: Pnårp/7.339.0.0.3479 (compatible; Phillip Norbert Årp; pnarp@pnarp.com; +https://www.pnarp.com/) URL: https://www.pnarp.com/ /* GNOMES? */ __ | '-. __ |/> \ .-' | '/ \ / <\| __ o o -._| __ / \' .-' | /(_.- D \ .-' | |_.- O O / <\| | ,'\ / <\| / C -._)\ / \' ',__,_,-´ | / \' /', o | |_.- @ @ |=[_]====),,) |_.- o @ __ | `-,_,__,' / C -._)\ \____ .' / C -._)\ | '-. (,,)====[_]=| /', (O) | _|-|- | /', (O) | |/> \ '. ____/ | `-,_,__,' (_(____| | `-,_,__,' '/ \ | -|-|_ (,,)====[_]=| (,,)====[_]=| @ @ -._| |____)_) '. ____/ '. ____/ /(_.- D \ | -|-|_ | -|-|_ |((O)) ,'\ |____)_) |____)_) ',__,_,-´ | |=[_]====),,) \____ .' I said out! Out, out, out! _|-|- | (_(____|