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I still don’t trust these cookies…

Hollered well before May 14, 2006.

I spent most of this week hiding in my I’ve-been-hornswoggled corner again. No, I haven’t been hornswoggled again, dear readers, it’s just that the corner makes a nice place to hide from oatmeal cookies, too. (It’s warm, and tight as a drum, and I can build a fort there with my couch cushions and pretend I’m General George S. Patton holding off the armies of the Golden Horde.) These oatmeal cookies are no ordinary oatmeal cookies… they have spies everywhere! Everywhere! They’re after my cooking oil and my precious bodily fluids, God damn it!

What do I do!? Geri Halliwell, Mel B, even Mel C—help me!!!