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Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

Entries mentioning squirrels

A veritable trash dump of words

Whipped on September 18, 2022

“If” is the middle word in “life”

Horrified on September 11, 2022

On any given day

Plotted and schemed on August 21, 2022

Up to my ass in alligators

Endangered on August 7, 2022

Squirrels, squeeorling, syrup of squill, and squee

Cocked up on July 24, 2022

Gnocco after gnocco

Knocked on on July 10, 2022

A stack of dictionaries, a goat, and the ensuing manure

Stacked high on June 26, 2022

Wernicke, Broca, and a two-week, drug-fueled bender

Refueled on June 19, 2022

A squiddy meal, a goosey girl, and moles of gnomes

Wriggled on June 5, 2022

Batting the package

Semiquavered on May 15, 2022

Whittling the knittery

Quavered on May 8, 2022

A stubby little short week

Trolloped around on April 24, 2022

A wanted carton of wontons

Trotted out on April 10, 2022

A curious nine-day week

Dialed on April 3, 2022

The twentieth best day of my life

Easily understood on March 20, 2022

A hilarious pair of ducks

Redpilled on March 13, 2022

The stars screamed at me, but why?

Shredded on March 6, 2022

An arduous, odorous, ordurous affair

Cannibalized on February 27, 2022

Interwoven threads of witless boobery

Spiked on February 20, 2022

The door slammed in my face

Slammed on January 30, 2022

Confound delivery

Starched on January 16, 2022

Collecting the caps from every bottle of light cream

Collected before December 26, 2021

Vigorously shaking every ficus tree

Shook before December 12, 2021

To muffle up a gooſe

Muffled up on October 31, 2021

Excrescence and excreta

Unfolded on September 26, 2021

And I still couldn’t find my comb

Nosedove before August 22, 2021

To not be a six-foot-tall man–squirrel

Squeeorled on August 15, 2021

Today I was being a…

Squirreled on August 8, 2021

Not a typewriter

Tabulated on July 25, 2021

An Independence Day to remember

In the pants on July 4, 2021

To narfle the gömböc

Balanced on June 27, 2021

Great Dane or greatest Dane?

Deigned on May 23, 2021

200,000 flip-flop–related injuries

Discalceated on May 9, 2021

This coming Friday…

Prognosticated after December 16, 2012

Mooey, mooey, moo!

Lowed at on December 9, 2012

Horses, drugs, and some Volvos

Revolved around December 2, 2012

The geese were angry

Angered before November 4, 2012

Ziti—with lines, please

Lollygagged on October 28, 2012

Meals and utensils and straws, oh my!

Bluely rinsed on October 7, 2012

My competitive worm charming days

Vermiculated on August 26, 2012

The turtle herds of insomnia

NōDōz’d on August 12, 2012

Upon the Fimbriated Planet

Flabbled about on August 5, 2012

The ÅSS Goose from the Machine

Bageled on July 22, 2012

Planet of the geese

Honked at on July 15, 2012

A hortensical Sefernday

Hortensed on July 1, 2012

Fungous hitchhikers from outer space

Rocketed on June 24, 2012

My skin was thinking

Considered for June 3, 2012

Gurning for two

Faces made before April 8, 2012

Surviving April Fools Day

Foxholed on April 1, 2012

To order a coffee

Caffeinated on March 25, 2012

I was dead

Expired around February 26, 2012

A Ho-Mg-Zn icosahedral quasicrystal

Fractured on February 12, 2012

Thoughts diverging from reality

Converging on January 29, 2012

Thoughts converging toward reality

Diverging from January 22, 2012

And then the cold cuts danced

Ronpauled on January 15, 2012

Dreams in a hole in the ground

Trespassed before January 1, 2012

A jaunt to Washington, D.C.

Filibustered on December 4, 2011

Schtumpfenfrumpt!

Stumped on October 16, 2011

A snootful of donuts

Imbibed before October 2, 2011

A paean to panic

Glibbered about on September 25, 2011

Gnomes? In my photocopier?

Litigated before September 18, 2011

The toadskin kazoo

Toads skinned on September 4, 2011

Impossibly shaped bowls

Whiled away before July 10, 2011

The end of doodlewhacker pie

Bloomed on June 26, 2011

Plårp and I did our best

Potted on April 10, 2011

The hobnailery on Hobgoblin Street

Borfnagled on March 6, 2011

A dark and spammy night

LARTed on February 20, 2011

The Christ-O-Mart on Crunkner Boulevard

Transubstantiated before January 16, 2011

Fluffernutter… or treacle?

Stickied on January 2, 2011

The frozen Pnårp

Last thing I remembered on October 24, 2010

An offer he couldn’t refuse

Unmitigated on September 26, 2010

Skipping Wednesday

Slid past on September 12, 2010

Parndiddle McForsterbaster

Pinned up on September 5, 2010

Death by simultaneous drowning and dehydration

Dumbled for August 29, 2010

Today is January 27

Prevaricated on January 27, 2008

Gnomes? In my kettles?

Nonsensed at January 20, 2008

Lo’ Kweeisha

Pornographed on January 13, 2008

Spaceworthy guardsquirrels

Decompressed on December 9, 2007

Free at last

Self-addressed and stamped on December 2, 2007

A busjacking by Jack Off Jill?

Theorized about on November 12, 2006

Jacking off Jill to a squirrel-fox-dingo

Hypothesized on November 5, 2006

Today being Christmas…

Made merry on December 25, 2005

Shitlingthorpe–Alabaster Flapdoodles

Zanzibarred on December 11, 2005

The return of the garden gnomes

Star-spangled high above September 25, 2005

Troobles, long and hard

Deluged on August 7, 2005

Soft, and steaming lightly

Castigated on July 31, 2005

The perspicacious side of the planet

Wienerschnitzeled on July 24, 2005