I’m your favorite website!Feed me! Feeeed meeee!!Email Pnårp!Tweet! Tweet! Twat!Livin’ it up… on a living journal!Corrosion!? But websites don’t corrode!A whole book full of my face!Oogle boogle google!Where gravity itself gets its blog avatar!Linked in… to what? A pair of moose antlers?Red dits? Red edits? Read its…!?
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Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

Entries mentioning The United States

Mooey, mooey, moo!

Lowed at on December 9, 2012

Horses, drugs, and some Volvos

Revolved around December 2, 2012

A parable that should explain everything

Enchanted on November 18, 2012

Ungabungabugandabunga!

Land-locked on November 11, 2012

The geese were angry

Angered before November 4, 2012

Meals and utensils and straws, oh my!

Bluely rinsed on October 7, 2012

A sojourn through the jejunum

Catabolized on September 9, 2012

The turtle herds of insomnia

NōDōz’d on August 12, 2012

And the neckties writhed

Spiraled around July 29, 2012

The ÅSS Goose from the Machine

Bageled on July 22, 2012

Planet of the geese

Honked at on July 15, 2012

The green apple bee-bop

Hydrated on May 20, 2012

Vox clamantis in deserto

Cheddared on May 6, 2012

The death of Argo Navis

Trisected before April 29, 2012

A lunchable lemony apple key

Open-appled on April 22, 2012

A box! A box! A box of…

Puttered about on April 15, 2012

Surviving April Fools Day

Foxholed on April 1, 2012

Toad rental—cheap!

Rented on March 18, 2012

I was dead

Expired around February 26, 2012

A Ho-Mg-Zn icosahedral quasicrystal

Fractured on February 12, 2012

Seven point one hundred

Released on February 5, 2012

And then the cold cuts danced

Ronpauled on January 15, 2012

This entry is missing!

Misplaced before January 8, 2012

Dreams in a hole in the ground

Trespassed before January 1, 2012

A sleigh ride to the North Pole

Kringled on December 25, 2011

A journey to upper Silesia

Gruelled on December 18, 2011

A sally to the Kremlin

Red squared on December 11, 2011

A jaunt to Washington, D.C.

Filibustered on December 4, 2011

A trip to southern Moravia

Plunged off a cliff on November 27, 2011

Goatburping and speechifying

Blustered about before November 20, 2011

Grunting and squeaking in the goatburping park

Soil sampled on November 13, 2011

Fimbriated armless and legless

Charged on October 30, 2011

A paean to panic

Glibbered about on September 25, 2011

Gnomes? In my photocopier?

Litigated before September 18, 2011

Ten years

Hijacked on September 11, 2011

The toadskin kazoo

Toads skinned on September 4, 2011

Just shaving the dog

Preened on July 31, 2011

Just so he could moo at someone

Percolated on July 3, 2011

The end of doodlewhacker pie

Bloomed on June 26, 2011

Moobly Sefernday!

Borndwiddied on June 19, 2011

What the heck… is bothering me?

Chanted on June 12, 2011

Potted meat

Unpotted on June 5, 2011

Reflecting on corn gone wrong

Paroled on May 15, 2011

Hnnnngggghhhh!

Strained on May 1, 2011

The tight, grimacing face

Impacted before April 17, 2011

Cool beans

Beaned on March 27, 2011

The hobnailery on Hobgoblin Street

Borfnagled on March 6, 2011

A dark and Strommy night

Thurmonned on February 27, 2011

A dark and spammy night

LARTed on February 20, 2011

A dark and stormy night

Stormdrained on February 6, 2011

Back to Pam & Meg’s

Goatmulched on December 12, 2010

An alabasterously magnificent find

Found before December 5, 2010

375 gorillas and some flower pots

Dumbstruck on November 28, 2010

Mr. Årp goes to city hall

Carpetbagged on November 14, 2010

Oatmeal cookies… behind it all!

Completely forgotten on November 7, 2010

A crater full of Volvos

Hidden in ice for centuries on October 31, 2010

The frozen Pnårp

Last thing I remembered on October 24, 2010

An offer he couldn’t refuse

Unmitigated on September 26, 2010

Parndiddle McForsterbaster

Pinned up on September 5, 2010

The disastrous ballad of Monica Lewinski’s feet

Shattered before August 15, 2010

Two stumblebums for Phillip Norbert Årp

Stumbled around on August 8, 2010

Boom! Boom, boom, boom!

Orbited on July 11, 2010

Noshing on my favorite keyboard

Fluttered on July 4, 2010

Psycho Chicken With Fingers On Top!

Squawked upon prior to June 13, 2010

Oh, the serendipity!

Squelched through on May 30, 2010

The fleeting nuances of Dingleberry–Hampsterism

Guzzled on May 9, 2010

Thousands of Eggmen against one little Pnårp

Destalinized on May 2, 2010

I had eggs today!

Oviposited on April 18, 2010

Ham by the brick

Mechanically extracted on March 28, 2010

Return from the Brundlebeyond

Disgorged on March 7, 2010

A whole pile of flapdoodles from Shitlingthorpe

Recollected on February 17, 2008

Today is January 27

Prevaricated on January 27, 2008

Gnomes? In my kettles?

Nonsensed at January 20, 2008

Lo’ Kweeisha

Pornographed on January 13, 2008

The one true goddess!

Duffeled on November 18, 2007

Snuffle off to Buffalo

Sniffled at on November 4, 2007

Strahazazhia smiles upon me

Gone wrong on October 28, 2007

The deep blue face of failure

Done wrong on October 21, 2007

Pnårp’s in space

Station-kept on September 30, 2007

Why do the stars scream?

Screamed about on September 16, 2007

Press any key

Pressed on June 24, 2007

Ol’ Grummie’s back!

Bungled up on June 3, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Last decree

Decreed on April 15, 2007

The laws of Phillip I

Promulgated on March 25, 2007

131,072 Schmongeloid conscripts

Decimated on March 4, 2007

Digging up the back yard

Cashed in on February 18, 2007

Alyssa Milano lives!

Jury-rigged on February 4, 2007

Alyssa Milano v. Phillip Norbert Årp

Entrenched under January 28, 2007

Suing Alyssa Milano

Bombarded after January 14, 2007

Bloviating and brachiating

Wrenched away from me on December 3, 2006

Loquisha, you hornswoggler!

Added to taste on October 29, 2006

Gnomelandia Day

Filleted on October 15, 2006

As kudzu crept up her ankles

Encircled on August 13, 2006

I thought this was better!?

Harvested before May 28, 2006

368,000 firecrackers and a butcher shop

Tarpapered over on January 1, 2006

Today being Christmas…

Made merry on December 25, 2005

Thaddeus C.L. Harshbarger, the haberdasher

Belted out on December 4, 2005

Incipient garden gnomes pouring down

Shined & enshrined on June 19, 2005

The Trooble Foundation

Irked on April 17, 2005

Samuel Dreckers

Carbonized prior to March 6, 2005

Contemplating the Spice Girls

Best if sold by February 27, 2005

Briefcase! Gatorade!!

Fudged up against February 13, 2005

A brass knob had fallen on my head

Belched out on September 26, 1999

The Countess-Prelate von Sträsmussenbörg

Bleeped out for September 19, 1999

I found a scrap of paper in my pocket

Rebutted on May 23, 1999

Semper sic tyrannis

Calculated and compiled on May 2, 1999