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Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

My favorite body parts

feet (354) buttocks (251) nose (223)

My favorite celebrities

Aika Miura (2) Alyssa Milano (145) Anna Ohura (3) Britney Spears (44) Chloë Moretz (35) Christina Applegate (2) Hudson Leick (4) Jack Off Jill (9) Jada Fire (16) Jennifer Love Hewitt (38) Lucy Lawless (11) Lucy Liu (2) Spice Girls (61)

My family

my sister Plårp (24) my brother Grårp (18) my mother Mamårp (26) my father Papårp (2) my daughter Prårp (6) my grandpooty Fnårp (10) my cousin Mlårp (6) my cousin Clårp (1)

Me, myself, and mine

my aplomb (11) my basement (42) my bestiary (20) my ceiling clock (31) my chagrin (14) my composure (10) my crests (19) my dudgeon (13) my eigenbriefcase (7) my garage (24) my hexaflexagonal briefcase (4) my memoirs (2) my pantry (17) my roolf (14) my triangular briefcase (32) my wherewithal (7)

My friends & enemies

Beatrice I.T. Carparker-Harshbarger (6) Becasue (66) Madame Beaux Pieds (8) Borb McBorbley (26) Borbra McBorbley (11) Catlips the Clown (6) Charlie Witherspoonworth (9) David Pinnfarb (20) the derbfine and obolus men (7) Dinglebuckey (17) Dirk Dirk McGuirk (2) the Editor (7) Engelbert Vlabbitteehoothie (3) Eunice F.G Harshbarger (4) Fendippitous Eggmen (17) the fimbriated man (17) Forb McBorbley (3) Fyodor Vyacheslavovich Tvalashvili (5) Genevieve von Sträsmussenbörg (12) Gerhardt Groompkin (5) Glick Glick van der Glick (4) Gnaddeus Underdong McDoggerel Kleinbutt (8) Gra (4) Gravitor (3) Grumfeld van der Spooijwanker (7) Haldûrburðgar (16) the Hammurderer (4) Harry Whyte (8) the Harshbargers (36) Herbert Hebert Hobbes (3) Iggy Kalamazoo-Kintaki-Meeps (6) St. Joe Kowalski (3) José Vargas de las Joyas Matemáticas (3) Julian Rhoodie (44) Karl Winerboffer (6) Laundry Matt’s (2) Loquisha (54) Lucy Goosey (2) Mr. M’Nummenschantz (6) Mooey (5) Moosey (14) Mortimer Harshbarger (4) Rev. Nahum G. Dalhousie (6) Nar-Bibbly the Moon Rock (5) the neighbors (249) the new neighbor (17) Norb McBorbley (8) St. Norbert (2) Nurdlebutt (9) Ol’ Bummie (4) Mr. Ollanthorpe (19) Pam & Meg (20) Parndiddle McForsterbaster (10) Peter Pfister-Fassbinder (2) President Piggy-Man (23) Mr. Plerkle (3) Porb McBorbley (2) Pow, Biff, and Zork (7) Prudence Farnston (9) Psycho Chicken With Fingers On Top (4) Ravna Olegg-Thorssondóttir (77) Richard Dreckers Sr. (11) Richard Uptown Pluckman (5) Roy G. Biv (10) Samuel Dreckers (56) Smelley (3) Mr. Smuthabupple (8) the Sneŗtman (9) Mr. Snulbug (7) Strahazazhia Kalamazoo-Kintaki-Meeps (25) Countess-Prelate von Sträsmussenbörg (17) Szczerbaczewicz & Smith (16) Thaddeus C.L. Harshbarger (21) Thudley (4) Mr. Tripeman (2) Dr. Unterguggenburgerheimer (7) Veesey-Koosey (4) Comrade Volgolskin™ (2) Wiebe van der Woobie (31) Wilbur P. Elmot (2) Mr. Wilson (64) Yappie (43)

Other people I talk about

Abe Vigoda (3) Abraham Lincoln (2) Adam Smith (2) Adolf Hitler (32) Albert Einstein (7) Al Capone (3) Al Gore (2) Alex Trebek (2) Amara La Negra (2) Ambrose Burnside (4) Andrea Dworkin (2) Andrew Wakefield (2) Ann Coulter (1) Antonin Scalia (2) Ariana Grande (2) Arthur Eddington (1) August Kekulé (1) August Möbius (4) Augusto Pinochet (2) Ayn Rand (2) Ba‘al (1) the Babadook (1) Bailey Jay (1) Baron Munchausen (1) Batman (3) Benjamin Franklin (1) Benjamin Netanyahu (3) Benjamin the Nettin’ Yahoo (3) Bill Clinton (4) Bill Gates (2) Bill Nye (1) William “Bill” Post (1) Bobby McGee (1) Bob Dole (2) Bob Moore (1) Boris Pasternak (1) Bozo the Clown (5) Bret Easton Ellis (2) Brian Peppers (1) Bruce Coville (1) Bruce Springsteen (1) Cecilia Bååth-Holmberg (1) Charles Babbage (2) Charles Darwin (1) Charles Ingram (2) Charles Manson (2) Chef Boyardee (10) Collyer Brothers (3) Colonel Kurtz (6) Commodus (1) Coraline (2) Cordwainer Smith (64) Cthulhu (26) Cuthbert Burbage (2) Cyrano de Bergerac (1) Cyrus the Great (1) Cyrus Vance (1) Dan Quayle (1) Dante Alighieri (1) David Berkowitz (1) David the Gnome (1) Denis Leary (10) Richard S. Fuld Jr. (1) Donald Knuth (2) Don Rickles (1) Dors Feline (5) Dwight D. Eisenhower (1) Dyanne Thorne (2) Dylan Thomas (1) Edgar Allen Poe (1) Edward Bulwer-Lytton (4) Edwin Balmer (1) Edwin Edwards (1) Elizabeth Peña (1) Elmer Fudd (2) Elon Musk (2) Elvis Presley (2) Eratosthenes (1) Ernest Entwistle Cheesman (1) Erwin Schrödinger (1) Euclid (6) Evel Knievel (1) Fate (40) Fibonacci (2) the fishbootmonger (10) Fortune (3) Francis Fukuyama (1) Franz Mesmer (3) Friedrich Fröbel (2) Fritz Haber (1) Gavrilo Princip (1) Geoffrey Chaucer (1) George Armstrong Custer (13) George Boole (4) George Eliot (5) George H.W. Bush (1) George Orwell (2) George Pataki (1) George R.R. Martin (11) George Santayana (1) Georges Lemaître (2) George S. Patton (1) George W. Bush (9) Georg Hegel (17) Gilbert Gottfried (2) God (97) Grace Metalious (1) Greta Thunberg (1) Grigori Perelman (1) Grover Norquist (1) Gumby (4) Guy Fawkes (2) Hal Higdon (1) Harry Turtledove (16) Hendrik Lorentz (1) Henri Poincaré (2) Henry Darger (2) Hercule Poirot (1) H.G. Wells (1) Hieronymous Bosch (2) Ho Chi Minh (1) Horatio Hornblower (3) Horst Wessel (4) H.P. Lovecraft (95) Hrothgar (2) Hubert H. Humphrey (1) Humpty Dumpty (2) Indiana Jones (1) Inspector Gadget (1) Isaac Newton (6) Jack Dorsey (1) Jair Bolsonaro (1) James A. Garfield (1) James Henry Trotter (1) James Joyce (5) James Knox Polk (4) James S.A. Corey (1) James Thurber (1) Jan Oort (1) Jason The Horse (1) J. Edgar Hoover (1) Jessica Fletcher (2) Jesus (38) Jimmy Carter (3) Joachim Boldt (1) Joan Miró (1) Joe DiMaggio (1) John Deydras (1) John F. Kennedy (1) John Horton Conway (1) John Kerry (1) John Milton (1) John Tyler (2) John Updike (9) Josephine Baker (1) Joseph Stalin (4) J. Peter Kincaid (1) J.R.R. Tolkien (7) Julius Cæsar (2) Justin Bieber (5) Karl Dönitz (2) Karl Marx (4) Ka‘ū (8) Kevin Costner (4) Kevin Federline (2) Kim Jong-il (1) Kim Kardashian (1) the Kool-Aid Man (3) Kris Straub (1) Kurt Gödel (2) Kurt Vonnegut (17) Lady GaGa (9) Lainey Molnar (1) Larry Niven (1) Lars von Trier (1) Lauren Tjaden (1) Lewis Carroll (6) Lillian Gish (1) Liz Truss (1) Lolo Ferrari (5) Lorna Doone (1) Lorne Green (1) Louis Pasteur (3) Luigi Galvani (2) L. Ron Hubbard (2) Lucius Caecilius Iucundus (1) Luck (16) Ludwig Boltzmann (1) Lyndon Baines Johnson (1) Lysander (2) MacGyver (5) Mark Twain (1) Mark Zuckerberg (1) Martyn N. Godfrey (3) Mary Shelley (1) Max Planck (1) Michael Dukakis (2) Michael Vale (1) Michelle Malkin (1) Mike the Headless Chicken (8) Millard Fillmore (2) Milton Berle (2) Monica Lewinski (6) the Muses (1) Nabih Berri (1) Napoléon Bonaparte (4) Napoléon III (1) Neil Cicierega (4) Newt Gingrich (1) Nick Cave (2) Nicki Minaj (16) Norton Juster (3) O.J. Simpson (1) Omar Bradley (1) Osama bin Laden (2) Oscar Wilde (1) the owl gods (25) Pablo Picasso (1) the Panchen Lama (4) Paul Bunyan (1) Paul Erdős (2) Pausanias (2) Pedro Carolino (1) Philip Wylie (1) Phineas Gage (1) Pierre de Fermat (4) Pippi Longstocking (2) Plato (4) Pope Benedict XVI (6) Pope Francis (1) Popeye (5) P.T. Barnum (1) the Punchin’ Llama (4) Pupienus (2) Ralph Bakshi (3) Raymond Hoser (1) Rebo & Zooty (3) Richard Chase (1) Richard Nixon (9) Rick Astley (1) Rick Pelicano (1) Rick Santorum (1) Robert A. Heinlein (1) Robert J. Sawyer (2) Robert Mapplethorpe (5) Mr. Rogers (1) Ronald Reagan (5) Ron Jeremy (1) Ron Paul (4) Rory Calhoun (20) Ross Perot (2) Rube Goldberg (4) Rudolf Flesch (1) Rumpelstiltskin (2) RuPaul (2) Rutherford B. Hayes (2) Saiyuud Diwong (1) Samuel Pepys (2) the Sandman (2) Santa Claus (13) Satan (24) Saturn (3) Satyendra Nath Bose (1) Scott Bakula (1) Sergei Brukhonenko (1) Dr. Seuss (14) Sherlock Holmes (2) Sigmund Freud (3) Smedley Butler (1) Spiderman (3) Spring-Heeled Jack (2) Stanley Unwin (3) Stephen Crane (1) Stephen King (17) Steve Miller (1) Strom Thurmond (8) Superman (1) Super Mario (2) Sutter Cane (1) Sylvia Scott Gibson (1) Takayoshi Andoh (1) Ted Bundy (1) Ted Kaczynski (1) Ted Kennedy (2) Tennessee Ernie Ford (5) Tennessee Williams (2) Terwilliger (16) Thomas Bowdler (3) Thomas Hardy (4) Thomas Jefferson (5) Thomas Malthus (4) Thomas Midgley (1) Thor (78) Thrud (10) Timoleon (1) Udo of Aachen (1) Uma Thurman (7) Vasco da Gama (1) Venerable Bede (1) Vernor Vinge (18) Vespasian (1) Vilma Bánky (1) Vladimir Lenin (1) Vladimir Putin (1) Vyacheslav Molotov (2) W.B. Yeats (1) Wilhelm Wundt (5) William Hazlet Upson (1) William Henry Harrison (2) William Howard Taft (2) William James McPhee (3) William Shakespeare (11) Winfield Scott (1) Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1) Yosemite Sam (1) Zachary Taylor (3) Zeno (3)

Movies, TV, bands, and galoobery

Æon Flux (1) ALF (1) Alien Nation (1) Avatar (1) Babylon 5 (14) Bang Bros. (2) Barbarella (2) Barney the Dinosaur (2) Battlestar Galactica (14) the Bible (25) Braveheart (1) Candle Cove (1) Cannibal Holocaust (2) Coneheads (5) Daffy Duck (1) Darkwing Duck (1) Dilbert (1) Dinosaucers (3) Dishwasher Synergy (5) Disney (8) Duke Nukem 3D (1) Earth 2 (1) The Elm-Chanted Forest (1) Encino Man (4) Family Matters (3) Farscape (12) Firefly (4) Flen flyys (2) Fluppy Dogs (1) Frasier (39) Full House (2) Futurama (2) Galoob (6) Gandahar (2) Garfield (3) G.I. Joe (1) Herman’s Hermits (1) Hunger Games (1) Jimmie Johnson and the Butthole Supremes (1) Journey (1) Klingons (6) Korn (1) Lady Dugong and the Crotchrockets (1) Lexx (25) LMFAO (2) Lycanthropy (1) Marathon (29) Mephiskapheles (2) Merriam–Webster (2) Millennium (2) Monty Python (4) Mork and Mindy (3) Murderdeathcock (14) My Buddy (1) The Outer Limits (1) Perfect Strangers (31) Playboy (1) The Postman (3) Pound Puppies (3) the Ramones (1) Scooby Doo (2) Seinfeld (8) Sesame Street (14) The Simpsons (21) Smash Mouth (2) Space: Above and Beyond (7) Sports Illustrated (5) Stargate SG-1 (12) Star Trek (59) Star Wars (2) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (3) Thomas the Tank Engine (2) Threebrain (3) Three Fat Fish (6) the Trashmen (1) Twelve Monkeys (1) 2001: A Space Odyssey (1) Wang Chung (2) Winnie the Pooh (3) The Wire (4) Xena: Warrior Princess (13) The X-Files (26)

Around the world… and elsewhere

Abkhazia (1) Accident, Maryland (1) the Acropolis (3) Afghanistan (12) Alabama (2) Alaska (6) Albuquerque, New Mexico (2) Älvdalen (1) Appalachia (7) Arcadia (1) Arizona (5) Arkansas (1) Aroostook, Maine (2) Arp, Texas (2) Assyria (2) Athabasca (12) the Atlantic Ocean (14) Augsburg (1) Australia (15) Austria (2) Babylon (2) the Bagel Nebula (19) Bahamas (1) Bavaria (11) Beaufort, Maine (1) Belgium (8) Belize (2) Bermuda (8) Biafra (1) Bithynia (1) Bobo, Mississippi (4) Bohemia (3) Botswana (2) Bouillabaissia (15) Boston, Massachusetts (7) Brazil (6) Brisbane (1) the Bronx (3) the Brundlesphere (23) Buffalo, New York (4) Bungholio, Michigan (1) Burkina Faso (13) Burnt Corn, Alabama (1) Butte, Montana (1) California (38) Canada (30) Cappadocia (8) the Carpathian Mountains (33) Chechnya (6) China (26) Chittagong (1) Circassia (3) Clairvaux (1) Cloonfush (1) Colorado (2) Conshohocken, Pennsylvania (1) Contoocook, New Hampshire (1) Corinth (1) Crete (2) Croatia (2) Cuba (2) Dartmouth College (1) Death Valley (2) Deshler, Ohio (2) Easter Island (2) Egypt (10) Eigentoria (23) England (51) Fáskrúðsfjörður (2) Finland (18) Florida (4) France (56) Georgia (4) Germany (102) Gnomelandia (11) Goobertown, Arizona (2) Greece (30) Guam (1) Hawaii (4) Heaven (11) Hegyközszentimre (1) Hell (54) the Himalayan Mountains (5) Hungary (7) Hyperborea (1) the Hypogeum of Ħal-Saflieni (3) Iceland (10) Idaho (3) Illinois (2) India (8) Indiana (1) Indonesia (6) Iowa (4) Iran (11) Ireland (2) Israel (5) Italy (17) Ithaka (2) Japan (31) Kalamazoo, Michigan (32) Kansas (1) Kazakhstan (1) Knoxville, Tennessee (1) Kosovo (2) Lakshadweep (1) Latvia (1) Lebanon (1) Lemnos (2) Lesotho (1) the Levant (3) Libya (1) Louisiana (1) Loyalsockville, Pennsylvania (3) Luxembourg (2) Macedonia (3) Madagascar (1) Maine (3) Mars (6) Maryland (2) Massachusetts (10) Mauritania (2) Mel’s Hole (2) Mexico (32) Michigan (36) Mississippi (8) Missouri (3) Mohenjo-Daro (1) Moldavia (5) Moldova (2) Mongolia (3) Montana (1) the Moon (47) Moravia (13) Morea (1) Moscow (3) Munich (1) Nebraska (2) Neptune (6) Netherlands (6) New Bouillabaissia (6) New Gardegnomia (4) New Hampshire (5) New Jersey (2) New Mexico (4) New York (17) New Zealand (1) Nibiru (1) Nigeria (2) Nizhny Novgorod (1) Norstrilia (2) North Korea (2) North Pole (4) Norway (3) Nova Scotia (2) Ohio (4) Oklahoma (1) Oregon (2) the Pacific Ocean (7) Pakistan (4) Palestine (1) Patagonia (3) Pennsylvania (6) Peoria, Illinois (2) Petrograd (1) Philippines (3) Pittsburgh (2) Pluto (1) Podunk, Michigan (1) Poland (7) Pomerania (7) Poughkeepsie, New York (2) Prague (3) Provo, Utah (1) Prussia (4) Pugwash (2) Québec (2) Rhode Island (3) Romania (3) Rome (81) Ruritania (4) Russia (33) Saint Croix (1) Sasania (2) Saskatchewan (1) Saudi Arabia (1) Saugus, Michigan (1) Saxony (1) Scotland (23) Seattle, Washington (2) Secaucus, New Jersey (2) Serengeti (2) Sheboygan, Wisconsin (1) Shitlingthorpe (8) Sicily (9) Silesia (12) Sirius (3) the Sistine Chapel (1) Slovakia (1) Smolensk (2) South Carolina (2) South Korea (1) Spain (9) Spread Eagle, Wisconsin (2) Squabbletown, California (2) Sri Lanka (1) the Sun (70) Sunapee, New Hampshire (1) Sweden (2) Switzerland (4) Székesfehérvár (1) Tashkurgan (1) Tennessee (8) Texas (3) Three Mile Island (2) Ticonderoga (1) Togo (1) Transnistria (1) Trebizond (1) Tucson, Arizona (2) Turkey (12) Turkmenistan (1) Ukraine (3) Ungabuganda (10) the United States (281) Uranus (5) Utah (1) Uzbekistan (1) the Vatican (2) Venus (4) Vermont (1) Vietnam (1) Wallachia (3) Wall Street (2) Washington (2) Washington, D.C. (5) Weewahitchka, Florida (1) Westphalia (41) West Virginia (5) Wisconsin (3) Wollongong (5) Wyoming (1) Ytterby (9) Zubenelgenubi (6) Zubeneschamali (3)

Aminals and other creatures… meow! Woof! Booyeah!

aardvarks (2) alligators (5) alpacas (8) anchovies (2) angels (7) ants (16) armadillos (5) aurochs (1) bacteria (4) badgers (4) banshees (3) barnacles (4) bats (33) bears (19) beavers (5) bees (24) beetles (12) birds (506) bison (4) Boglins (2) borfnagles (8) Bouba and Kiki (14) buffaloes (6) bugbears (2) bulls (20) butterflies (11) camels (4) capybaras (6) cassowaries (1) caterpillars (2) cats (145) cavemen (9) centipedes (2) chameleons (26) chickens (80) Chihuahuas (9) chipmunks (16) cicadas (3) clams (20) cluster lizards (5) cockroaches (37) cougars (1) COVID-19 (31) cows (117) coyotes (4) crabs (15) crickets (7) crocodiles (1) crows (5) deer (7) demons (32) deuterostomes (2) dholes (1) dingoes (8) dinoflagellates (2) dinosaurs (14) Dobermans (3) dodos (5) the Doge (1) dogs (237) dolphins (2) donkeys (17) dragons (6) ducks (94) dugongs (23) dwarves (3) eagles (6) earwigs (6) eels (5) egregores (2) eigengnomes (8) eigenserfs (5) elephants (36) elk (3) elves (13) emus (14) Englebee Troobles (48) fairies (4) ferrets (7) fish (241) flamingos (2) fleas (16) flies (25) foxes (17) frogs (48) garefowl (16) garloids (1) gargoyles (4) gazelles (1) geckos (5) geese (118) geoducks (5) gerbils (3) ghasts (14) ghosts (36) ghouls (6) giraffes (3) glargoyles (4) glorpf-snakes (16) gluefish (15) gnizzles (7) gnomes (287) gnus (3) gnutes (23) goats (151) goblins (10) Godzilla (1) golden cockroaches (18) goldfish (3) golems (1) gophers (2) gorillas (44) grasshoppers (16) gremlins (8) grouse (1) grues (22) Grunnelsby Wyverns (1) guardsquirrels (13) gugs (10) guinea pigs (1) guppies (8) hamsters (63) harooloos (10) hippopotamuses (5) hobbits (2) hornets (6) horses (149) hummingbirds (2) humperdumperdinks (10) hyenas (3) insects (269) IT Morlocks (7) jellyfish (2) kangaroos (4) katydids (1) kerfrumpts (39) Knib-Knob Gnomes (11) koalas (13) Langoliers (11) leeches (2) lemmings (2) lemurs (2) leprechauns (2) lice (9) lions (12) lizards (48) llamas (7) lobsters (2) marmosets (3) mastiffs (2) mastodons (6) mermaids (3) mice (31) millipedes (1) mites (4) moles (9) monkeys (73) moonbats (4) moose (68) mosquitoes (7) moths (10) mubbleducks (15) mules (9) naugas (8) nematodes (2) ocelots (6) octopuses (10) orangutans (4) orcs (2) ostriches (2) owls (42) oxen (5) pandas (3) pangolins (12) parrots (3) peacocks (2) penguins (5) pheasants (10) pigeons (12) pigs (139) pincer monkeys (20) pit bulls (3) pixies (4) platypuses (1) Pokémon (3) poltergeists (2) ponies (4) porcupines (32) prawns (1) praying mantises (3) pumas (3) quails (5) rabbits (15) raccoons (12) rats (42) reindeer (2) reptiles (152) rhinoceros (3) rodents (350) roosters (16) salamanders (15) sasquatch (4) schtumpfenbeasts (9) scorpions (1) screaming stars (61) seagulls (3) sharks (8) sheep (39) shmeeps (4) shmoos (2) shuggoths (26) Silesian Shipping Gnomes (5) the silithicine creatures (13) silverfish (2) singing spiders (27) the skeezle-wumpus (19) skinks (3) skinwalkers (3) skunks (4) sloths (3) slugs (10) smurfs (19) snail darters (3) snails (15) snakes (31) snoozlekopfs (2) spiders (51) squid (6) the squirrel-fox-dingo (8) squirrels (131) stingrays (2) stink bugs (1) the stuffleupagus (13) succubi (12) sunfish (2) tadpoles (7) tapirs (2) tardigrades (1) termites (1) ticks (4) tommygoffs (8) trilobites (2) tulpas (4) turkeys (34) turtles (29) vampires (7) voles (6) wallabies (3) wargs (2) wasps (6) weasels (13) wendigos (1) werewolves (6) Westphalian Schmongeling Gnomes (39) whales (14) wizzle-nipfs (9) wolves (11) woodchucks (4) worms (37) yaks (14) yetis (2) zebras (23) zombies (15)

Things to nosh upon… and places to do so

alcohol (79) apples (32) Arby’s (2) arugala (1) aspartame (2) avocados (5) bacon (29) the Bagel Biter (2) bagels (40) bananas (9) bangers and mash (2) beans (18) beef (38) beets (2) blueberries (4) blue cheese (9) blunch (19) bologna (3) bottled water (3) bouillabaisse (117) bubble and squeak (9) bundt cakes (3) burritos (14) butter (27) cabbage (13) cake (17) candy (16) caramel gumdruggilies (2) carrots (4) catsup (10) cereal (7) cheddar (9) cheese (86) Cheetos (2) Cheez-Its (7) chives (1) chocolate (9) Coca-Cola (3) coconuts (3) coffee (51) corn (55) cornpones (14) crab rangoons (3) cranberries (5) cream (32) cream cheese (8) crème brûlée (1) croissants (5) crudberry pie (10) crumpets (9) the Cthulomat (13) cucumbers (2) donuts (36) doodlewhacker pie (7) Dunkin’ Donuts (26) eggs (75) elderberries (1) Elkwalker Ale (3) empanadas (2) Everlasting Gobstoppers (2) feta (5) flobcumbers (25) flour (4) Fluffernutter (13) Frank’s RedHot Sauce (1) French fries (7) French toast (2) fruitcake (2) fusilli (2) garlic (5) Gatorade (8) gnocchi (4) golden cornpone stew (2) gorgonzola (4) gourds (10) grapes (7) grilling (5) grits (2) groats (7) guacamole (2) hair sandwiches (3) Hákarl (2) ham (35) the Ham & Eggs (5) hamburgers (18) Heinz (2) hoisin sauce (3) hollandaise (3) hors d’œuvres (4) hotdogs (26) ice cream (14) ice cubes (11) KFC (3) lasagna (4) leeks (3) Lemon Lift (1) lemons (16) lettuce (5) limes (4) loli (5) Lunchables (2) lutefisk (2) margarine (2) marmite (2) marshmallows (2) mayonnaise (10) McDonald’s (18) meatloaf (2) melamine (2) milk (29) milkshakes (2) mini beef ravioli (6) mint (16) molasses (1) Mountain Dew (16) muffins (4) mulberries (2) mustard (19) nutraloaf (1) nuts (41) oatmeal cookies (33) oats (36) onions (13) oranges (10) Oreos (9) pancakes (7) parsnips (3) pasta (81) pastrami (2) peas (11) pears (5) pepper (19) pepperoni (80) Pepsi (5) persimmons (2) pickles (18) pie (56) pie-eating contests (7) pineapples (2) pink slime (7) pizza (16) plantains (1) pork (19) porncones (3) potatoes (78) potted meat (16) pumpkins (5) radishes (2) raisins (4) ramen noodles (3) ravioli (10) relish (1) rice (15) Rice Krispies (3) salad (15) salami (5) salt (24) sandwiches (34) sardines (5) sausages (29) schmaltz (4) scones (5) Skittles (1) Snausages (3) soup (143) soy sauce (13) spaghetti (18) spam (32) spinach (2) squash (4) Sriracha (1) steak (7) steak sauce (1) stinkberries (1) sugar (30) Taco Bell (2) tacos (5) tater-tots (11) tea (21) Tic Tacs (2) toast (12) tomatoes (24) Tootsie Pops (1) tortellini (10) tortelloni (4) treacle (12) turmeric (2) turnips (4) Twinkies (2) Twizzlers (1) venison (2) vinegar (5) vitamins (2) waffles (3) Wendy’s (2) Wheaties (3) wine cheese (2) wontons (3) ziti (7) zucchini (2)

Noises I often make

babbling (62) barking (51) baying (9) bleating (16) braying (4) bubbling (20) burbling (38) chootling (9) clucking (20) gabbling (9) gibbering (29) glibbering (4) gobbling (16) growling (14) grunting (26) gruntling (14) gurgling (26) honking (42) hooting (69) howling (49) meeping (50) meowing (10) mooing (19) mumbling (30) murping (46) neighing (16) oinking (6) quacking (30) screeching (20) shrieking (76) snuffling (8) squawking (20) squeaking (37) squealing (25) squeeorling (12) squiffling (20) tooting (24) wailing (11) wheedling (40) whinnying (5) whirring (21) yelping (14) yerking (41) yipping (12)

All the other stuff

abaci (3) abortion (12) acorns (6) adamantium (3) AIDS (2) airplanes (28) AK-47 (26) alabaster (39) alarm clocks (14) Albigensians (2) alien hand syndrome (2) aluminum (10) Alzheimer’s disease (1) Amazon.com, Inc. (3) Amtrak (1) anthrax (1) antifreeze (1) AOL (5) apatite (1) Apple Computer (15) April Fools (4) arcs and curves (22) AR-15 (1) arpeggios (2) arps (1) arsenic (4) artificial intelligence (5) assassination (79) asshattery (31) astatine (2) autumn (13) azaleas (1) baldness (17) balderdash (4) balloons (10) bamboo (1) bamboozling (16) basalt (1) baseball (15) bathrooms (120) batteries (6) beards (37) bed cushions (21) belching (61) bicycles (19) bismuth (2) bitcoin (8) blondes (157) blorpling (12) the Blunder Bus (10) bolo ties (27) borax (4) Borromean rings (1) the Boston Marathon (2) bowels (41) bowler hats (3) bowling (7) bowls (31) brains (202) brass (6) breasts (28) briefcases (52) Broca’s area (3) Brøderbund (11) brothels (13) bull semen (6) bumbling (24) burnt umber (18) buses (26) butlers (3) buttwash (20) cabooses (6) cacti (2) cadmium (3) Caldor (2) caltrops (1) cancer (16) candles (7) cannons (8) carbon (14) carbon dioxide (7) cat-canning (24) chainsaws (4) chess (3) Chevrolet (1) chicken suits (8) chlorine (3) Christmas (39) Christ-O-Mart (9) chromium (10) Church of the SubGenius (1) Circle K (2) clouds (11) clowns (47) coat hangers (1) cobalt (1) cobblestones (3) cocaine (4) codpiece (5) combs (4) comets (1) Comic Sans (4) communism (14) CompuServe (1) computer mice (20) computer printers (4) computer viruses (7) Congress (10) constipation (30) copper (10) corneas (31) corn gone wrong (17) costermongery (5) court (16) cow pies (6) C++ (1) the Crammin’ Pegs (3) craters (17) cravats (10) crayons (4) crunk (30) crystals (6) cummerbunds (3) dandruff (10) death (366) déjà vu (4) diaereses (37) dice (5) dictionaries (7) digititis (5) dimethyltryptamine (5) dingleberries (29) Dingleberry–Hampsterism (10) dirigibles (11) disease (49) disco (5) dishwashers (19) dog-boxing (4) donkey-punching (2) doofuses (36) doorknobs (32) dord (14) dormfuddies (18) Drano (3) dreams (112) dreidels (1) drones (3) drooling (14) drugs (129) drills (6) dryer lint (13) duct tape (16) dumpsters (7) earlobes (4) Easter (6) eBay (1) ebola (2) eigenfactors (64) einsteinium (1) electrons (13) EMTs (10) encyclopedias (34) ennui (3) environmental disaster (11) exozoöntology (1) eyebrows (30) Facebook (1) Fark (2) farming (34) farting sprees (21) fatbergs (3) feces (184) fedoras (9) femjoys (7) ferns (3) fezzes (60) ficus trees (12) a fifth Sunday (42) filibustering (15) fingernails (11) fire (190) Firefox (3) fireworks (14) the fiscal cliff (3) flabble (13) flamethrowers (6) flatulence (58) floppy disks (4) floozies (4) flower pots (23) flowers (67) flunkery (6) fluorine (4) fnords (35) football (16) football bats (8) Ford (8) forks (14) fornication (13) forts (10) 4chan (17) freebirding (8) friars (5) fungus (63) funnels (3) galoshes (4) galumphing (21) garbage (35) garnering-poles (8) gasoline (21) gears (9) glass (36) glasses (4) global warming (31) the goatburping park (30) goiter (1) gold (76) goldenrod (1) golf (4) Golgi bodies (3) gonads (161) gongs (10) Google (7) goonflayvination (37) granfalloons (16) gravity (22) grease fires (5) Great Stuff™ (2) the Gremlin (3) groinrinse (8) groins (27) grumnuttery (17) Gucci (3) gurning (21) gusto and glee (39) hairshirts (3) Halloween (7) hammers (19) handbaskets (5) Hanes (2) hard disks (6) Harvard University (4) hasps (3) hat pins (7) hats (143) hearts (39) hecklegroober (25) helium (4) hentai (14) Higgs bosons (2) higher education (19) hippies (1) the Historiograph (1) Hittites (1) hobnails (9) hobnobbing (4) hockey (5) hogwash (8) a hole in the ground (64) holmium (1) homburgs (8) the Hopeless Slack-Ass® recliner (29) hornswoggling (23) horsefeathers (15) the hospital (22) houseplants (3) Houthis (2) HTML (2) hula hoops (1) hydrangeas (5) hydrogen (12) hypercubes (4) hyperglycemia (1) hyperspheres (1) hypoglycemia (5) igloos (2) incontinence (23) Independence Day (5) infinity (13) inflatable hotdogs (14) inflatable rats (2) insomnia (4) iron (34) Jeeps (4) Jeep seat (2) jerkassity (3) karma (1) kazoos (4) kerosene (3) keyboards (37) the Keystone XL pipeline (1) Kia (1) kidneys (8) kilts (1) Kleenex (3) Klieg lights (4) Kmart (5) knitting (3) kookely-wangers (10) kudzu (13) Kuro5hin (3) Labor Day (1) lampshades (11) the Large Hadron Collider (1) the Latin language (63) lawns (24) lawsuits (11) lawyers (13) lead (13) Lego (1) leisure suits (17) lesbians (28) Leviticus (5) Library of Congress (2) lightbulbs (32) lighthouses (1) Linux (4) lithium (1) livers (12) the lottery (4) Lycos (5) Mafia (2) magic (25) the Magic Oreo Machine™ (9) magnesium (2) mail (38) manganese (2) mannequins (3) maple trees (8) marijuana (2) math (290) measles (2) medicine (68) mercury (7) mesothelioma (7) meteors (5) methamphetamine (6) the metric system (1) Microsoft (11) microwaves (5) mirrors (16) mirth (19) MIT (1) mold (36) molybdenum (1) monoliths (1) mooble (22) moonwalking (5) motorcycles (4) mouse jigglers (1) moustaches (8) MP3s (12) mucus (19) Murphy’s Law (2) mushrooms (22) Nazis (42) neckties (49) negotiation (7) neutrons (3) newspapers (29) New Years (13) nickel (4) nightmares (48) nightshade (2) 9-1-1 (4) nipples (32) nitrogen (4) the Nobel Prize (2) the Great Noöclasm of 2186 (5) Notepad (2) nothing (11) notochords (4) nuns (4) nurdles (16) Nurgdurbett (4) the Nurklestone (3) oboes (1) obsidian (4) oil (23) the Olympics (1) 1-800-CALL-ATT (2) 1-800-COLLECT (2) ornithopters (7) osmium (1) outer space (295) outhouses (8) the Overton window (2) oxygen (26) paisley (12) pancreases (4) pants (72) paperclips (8) paper shredders (12) paper towels (11) papooses (2) parallelograms (5) parties (49) paternosters (24) pencils (14) Petsmart (1) phlebotinum (1) phlogiston (7) phosphorus (5) pi (62) piffle (9) pigtails (26) piñatas (4) pine trees (11) pirates (3) plankton (5) platinum (2) plumbing (13) PNARP.SYS (4) poesies (3) poetry (21) pogo sticks (2) poit (5) poker (3) police (24) pollen (2) polonium (1) polydactyly (3) popes (33) poppycock (7) potassium (1) potholes (2) prions (1) prison (21) pronoia (1) propane (10) protons (3) pwee (53) QAnon (2) a quack attack (8) quarks (2) queefing (7) radiation (32) the radio (7) rat-fighting contests (10) the ravishing (22) RealDolls (1) Reddit (1) redheads (79) refrigerators (38) regicide (1) reincarnation (12) rhinestones (1) Rule 34 (2) ruptureworts (2) saliva (33) sandals (69) Schmarnocks flowers (5) schmongeling (42) school (18) schronking (9) schtupping (33) scissors (3) seamanship (31) Sears (2) Sefernday (20) self-slicing bread (3) semper sic tyrannis (8) serial killers (14) sex (235) shampoo (4) Sharpies (5) shekels (4) shotguns (9) silicon (6) silver (16) SIM cards (2) skanks (4) Slashdot (1) sleet (5) Slinkies (1) slithering blithely (14) smoke alarms (3) smoking (14) smoots (31) snarking (14) Snood (11) the Snoodabaker (10) snow (43) soap (34) soda bottles (8) sodium (6) Solo cups (2) sombreros (4) spaghetti trees (10) speculums (1) Spend-O-Mart (47) spinning in circles (36) spleens (5) spoons (27) sporks (9) spruce (4) spwah (14) squee (6) stagflation (2) Stanford University (3) stapling (14) *69 (2) steel (17) stinkspar (1) stones (33) stoves (28) St. Patrick’s Day (2) Stradivarius (1) straws (2) strontium (10) strumpets (9) stumblebums (35) the sublime plenum (6) sulphur (3) the Supreme Court (1) sunflowers (2) surfing (1) surmising (24) sutlers (1) tablecloths (2) tampons (3) Tandy (3) tantalum (2) Technicolor (5) the telephone (82) television (342) temperance (3) tentacles (56) 10-10-220 (2) terrorism (7) terrycloth (5) Thanksgiving (6) Thelema (1) thistles (2) 3-1-1 (2) tiddlywinks (2) tin (9) tires (37) tire spoons (2) toenails (25) toilet paper (20) toilets (97) tomfoolery (6) tongue (39) toothbrushes (10) toothpaste (7) top hats (2) tornados (2) torture (25) the Trabant (28) traffic cones (8) trashcans (17) trollops (4) Tsar Cannon (5) tulips (1) twelve-year-olds (29) twerking (4) Twitter (21) typewriters (6) UFOs (4) umbrellas (4) underdogs (14) underdunkery (11) underwear (54) 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