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Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

Entries mentioning outer space

Pigs fly just fine

Porked on February 18, 2024

Morning again?

Mourned on February 11, 2024

Watering the water clocks

Watered on January 28, 2024

Shaken and stir crazy

Swept on January 21, 2024

The splaying of resplendent splendiferousness

Cobbled together on December 31, 2023

Invidy, diaeretics, and Eëtal-Otoh-Satt!

Conjoined on December 17, 2023

A week of weekdays and their horrors

Manacled on October 8, 2023

Corn gone bacon and eggs

Consterned on September 3, 2023

Negotiating a goats-for-oats deal

Abnegated on August 20, 2023

Playing a katydid like a fiddle

Diddled on August 6, 2023

Rejecting both Church Latin and the Ciceronian

Conjugated on July 30, 2023

Dogs that ate backwards

Reversed on June 25, 2023

Gearless largesse and rageless eelgrass

Snorkeled on June 11, 2023

It doesn’t have to—but I always do

Needn’t on June 4, 2023

Crap! Crabapple! Crapapple!

Cursed on May 28, 2023

Why fish don’t have feet

Expiscated on May 7, 2023

Being a little bit taller

Racked on April 16, 2023

Being six feet tall

Fathomed on April 9, 2023

The unwary victim of cellular ennui

Metabolized on April 2, 2023

Cities of obsidian in the Canadian Shield

Dismantled on March 26, 2023

The day ended before it began

Endorsed on March 19, 2023

Landing head-first in March

Made it on March 5, 2023

To catch a fly

Lashed on February 26, 2023

My spaghetti trees had all flowered

Disassembled on February 19, 2023

Thinking for myself

Cerebrated on January 22, 2023

No more barriers to cross

Surpassed on January 15, 2023

I am my thoughts… I am time

Annuated on January 1, 2023

A real galleyshnogger of a Christmas

Dove in on December 25, 2022

Toppings on the bottom?

Bottomed out on December 18, 2022

We were bipedal murder chickens

Corned on December 11, 2022

Al Gore: A User’s Manual

Peered at on December 4, 2022

A veritable trash dump of words

Whipped on September 18, 2022

“If” is the middle word in “life”

Horrified on September 11, 2022

History looked at me this week

Transported on September 4, 2022

Pinguid penguins, disparate parrots, and a Studebaker

Basted on August 28, 2022

On any given day

Plotted and schemed on August 21, 2022

Catastrophes—but no anastrophe

Mishappened on August 14, 2022

Up to my ass in alligators

Endangered on August 7, 2022

Two halves of a bagel

Misaligned on July 31, 2022

Squirrels, squeeorling, syrup of squill, and squee

Cocked up on July 24, 2022

Gnocco after gnocco

Knocked on on July 10, 2022

The long, greasy road

Lubed up on July 3, 2022

A stack of dictionaries, a goat, and the ensuing manure

Stacked high on June 26, 2022

Wernicke, Broca, and a two-week, drug-fueled bender

Refueled on June 19, 2022

Flogging the dinosaur

Flailed around on May 1, 2022

A wanted carton of wontons

Trotted out on April 10, 2022

A curious nine-day week

Dialed on April 3, 2022

Seven point two hundred

Committed on March 27, 2022

The twentieth best day of my life

Easily understood on March 20, 2022

The stars screamed at me, but why?

Shredded on March 6, 2022

Carpathian Carpentry Gnomes? In my kitchen?

Hammered on February 6, 2022

Confound delivery

Starched on January 16, 2022

Collecting the caps from every bottle of light cream

Collected before December 26, 2021

Vigorously shaking every Solanum dulcamara

Vigorously shook before December 19, 2021

Vigorously shaking every ficus tree

Shook before December 12, 2021

Shouting at every houseplant

Shouted at before December 5, 2021

The Dingleberry–Hampsterist–Schmarnocks war

Embattled on November 21, 2021

An out-of-place trashcan

Recycled on November 14, 2021

A Halloween to surely forget

Spooked before November 7, 2021

To muffle up a gooſe

Muffled up on October 31, 2021

A lesson in poor metrication

Found wanting on October 10, 2021

Dugong, budong, hotdog, and hoe

Frowned at on October 3, 2021

Losing weight at the lost-and-found

Bonked on September 19, 2021

The pink, sticky day ended

Chaptered and versed on September 12, 2021

And then I’ll fart one more time, and…

Intruded upon August 29, 2021

To not be a six-foot-tall man–squirrel

Squeeorled on August 15, 2021

Not a typewriter

Tabulated on July 25, 2021

An Independence Day to remember

In the pants on July 4, 2021

To narfle the gömböc

Balanced on June 27, 2021

Another day, another pig war

Splined on June 20, 2021

José Vargas de las Joyas Matemáticas

Divided by zero on June 13, 2021

Too many Sundays

Quintupled on May 30, 2021

Maybe it was the location

Tripped out on March 21, 2021

Toiling away smoilishly

Toiled away on March 14, 2021

With a bubble and a squeak…

Bubbled and squeaked on March 7, 2021

Christmas, goats, and the fiscal cliff

Goat got on December 30, 2012

This coming Friday…

Prognosticated after December 16, 2012

Mooey, mooey, moo!

Lowed at on December 9, 2012

A parable that should explain everything

Enchanted on November 18, 2012

The geese were angry

Angered before November 4, 2012

Ziti—with lines, please

Lollygagged on October 28, 2012

The nauga war

Tanned on October 14, 2012

Meals and utensils and straws, oh my!

Bluely rinsed on October 7, 2012

In my own back yard

Extirpated on September 30, 2012

Livin’ large in the large intestine

Emboweled on September 23, 2012

Illin’ in the ileum

Chillin’ on September 16, 2012

A sojourn through the jejunum

Catabolized on September 9, 2012

The September that wouldn’t be

Elided on September 2, 2012

My competitive worm charming days

Vermiculated on August 26, 2012

When Saturday is Sunday

Blown right past August 19, 2012

The turtle herds of insomnia

NōDōz’d on August 12, 2012

Upon the Fimbriated Planet

Flabbled about on August 5, 2012

And the neckties writhed

Spiraled around July 29, 2012

The ÅSS Goose from the Machine

Bageled on July 22, 2012

Planet of the geese

Honked at on July 15, 2012

Here I froze and here I died

Dubstepped on July 8, 2012

A hortensical Sefernday

Hortensed on July 1, 2012

Fungous hitchhikers from outer space

Rocketed on June 24, 2012

The Bagel Nebula, you stinky monkeys!

Humped and dumped on June 17, 2012

My skin was thinking

Considered for June 3, 2012

My neighbor—he’s on fire

Detonated on May 27, 2012

The green apple bee-bop

Hydrated on May 20, 2012

Gurning for two

Faces made before April 8, 2012

Surviving April Fools Day

Foxholed on April 1, 2012

Toad rental—cheap!

Rented on March 18, 2012

I was dead

Expired around February 26, 2012

Axons across beard-seconds of darkness

Stretched out February 19, 2012

A Ho-Mg-Zn icosahedral quasicrystal

Fractured on February 12, 2012

Thoughts diverging from reality

Converging on January 29, 2012

Thoughts converging toward reality

Diverging from January 22, 2012

And then the cold cuts danced

Ronpauled on January 15, 2012

This entry is missing!

Misplaced before January 8, 2012

Dreams in a hole in the ground

Trespassed before January 1, 2012

A sleigh ride to the North Pole

Kringled on December 25, 2011

A journey to Upper Silesia

Gruelled on December 18, 2011

A jaunt to Washington, D.C.

Filibustered on December 4, 2011

A trip to southern Moravia

Plunged off a cliff on November 27, 2011

Goatburping and speechifying

Blustered about before November 20, 2011

Grunting and squeaking in the goatburping park

Soil sampled on November 13, 2011

Fimbriated armless and legless

Charged on October 30, 2011

Impossibly shaped bowls

Whiled away before July 10, 2011

What the heck… is bothering me?

Chanted on June 12, 2011

Potted meat

Unpotted on June 5, 2011

Dyssynergic defecation

Splashed down on April 24, 2011

The tight, grimacing face

Impacted before April 17, 2011

Plårp and I did our best

Potted on April 10, 2011

Rotating in place

Caligulated on March 20, 2011

Pnårp.com!

Crossing Pnårp Road on March 13, 2011

The hobnailery on Hobgoblin Street

Borfnagled on March 6, 2011

A dark and spammy night

LARTed on February 20, 2011

A dark and smarmy night

Self-satisfied on February 13, 2011

A dark and stormy night

Stormdrained on February 6, 2011

Requiem for a triangular briefcase

Immured on January 30, 2011

In feckless search of a new body

Transplanted before January 23, 2011

The Christ-O-Mart on Crunkner Boulevard

Transubstantiated before January 16, 2011

Dr. Unterguggenburgerheimer!

Diagnosed on January 9, 2011

Fluffernutter… or treacle?

Stickied on January 2, 2011

A vainglorious, hooting, tooting Christmas

Clamored about on December 26, 2010

Happy birthday, Alyssa Milano!

Feet worshipped on December 19, 2010

Back to Pam & Meg’s

Goatmulched on December 12, 2010

An alabasterously magnificent find

Found before December 5, 2010

375 gorillas and some flower pots

Dumbstruck on November 28, 2010

Ravna and a tub of port wine cheese spread

Slathered all over on November 21, 2010

The frozen Pnårp

Last thing I remembered on October 24, 2010

Insidious flobcumber pie

Perchanced upon on September 19, 2010

Skipping Wednesday

Slid past on September 12, 2010

Tater-totting crunkfire

Clapped on… clapped off on August 22, 2010

The disastrous ballad of Monica Lewinski’s feet

Shattered before August 15, 2010

Ah, the first of August!

Firstly on August 1, 2010

Gnomes destroying my brain and kidneys

Urinated on on July 18, 2010

Psycho Chicken With Fingers On Top!

Squawked upon prior to June 13, 2010

Through the tunnel

Crossed over on July 27, 2008

The Brundlesphere

Entangled on July 20, 2008

Short and sweet!

Sweetened on April 27, 2008

A whole pile of flapdoodles from Shitlingthorpe

Recollected on February 17, 2008

Lo’ Kweeisha

Pornographed on January 13, 2008

Bubble wrap and bubble butts

Thawed on January 6, 2008

Spaceworthy guardsquirrels

Decompressed on December 9, 2007

Free at last

Self-addressed and stamped on December 2, 2007

The deep blue face of failure

Done wrong on October 21, 2007

Graceful as Loquisha’s soles

Danced with on October 14, 2007

This is Phillip Norbert Årp’s spaceship

Diseased prior to October 7, 2007

Pnårp’s in space

Station-kept on September 30, 2007

Why does the pi float?

Floated by on September 23, 2007

Why do the stars scream?

Screamed about on September 16, 2007

Eight years

Anniversed four days before March 11, 2007

Suing Alyssa Milano

Bombarded after January 14, 2007

Attacked by tadpoles!

Stabbed with a fork on September 3, 2006

New Gardegnomia

Navigated to on July 30, 2006

Burkina Faso encased in pie

Tortured on July 23, 2006

A disastrous pie-eating contest

Drawn and quartered on July 16, 2006

The return of the garden gnomes

Star-spangled high above September 25, 2005

Abortifacient skies, the burning air

Slobbered all over on September 11, 2005

I’m ending it all!

Spindled on August 21, 2005

Soft, and steaming lightly

Castigated on July 31, 2005

Umph… plurgh… splat!

Beautified on July 17, 2005

Incipient garden gnomes pouring down

Shined & enshrined on June 19, 2005

Eigenfactor

Given to charity prior to May 22, 2005

The Trooble Foundation

Irked on April 17, 2005

I saw an iMac, a greenish-blue flavored one

Popularized for April 10, 2005

I was mad

Optimized for April 3, 2005

I desire broadband access to my feet!

Quibbled about on March 27, 2005

Guhhhh noooobity fahhhh foooogity!!!

Squabbled about on March 20, 2005

My dear brother Grårp!

Crucified for March 13, 2005

Briefcase! Gatorade!!

Fudged up against February 13, 2005

The Troobles exist…

Inoculated on January 30, 2005

Curse inflatable hotdogs

Expurgated on January 23, 2005

Searching forever for the elusive Troobles

Squandered because of October 31, 1999

The stars scream at me louder than ever!!

Suspended from October 24, 1999

I had failed

Hidden above my bed on October 17, 1999

I forgot about Hitler

Plundered shortly after October 3, 1999

The Countess-Prelate von Sträsmussenbörg

Bleeped out for September 19, 1999

Someone accused me of screwing a pheasant

Remixed before September 12, 1999

It gets hot in Afghanistani prisons

Given to my daughter on August 29, 1999

The talking, squawking camel

Reinstated on August 15, 1999

Mister Ollanthorpe von Sträsmussenbörg

Encapsulated within July 25, 1999

Is there an underdog in you?

Nitrated on July 18, 1999

The flying pi returned

Complicated because of July 4, 1999

The triangular briefcase I had found

Reintegrated on June 13, 1999

The spiders began to sing and chant

Refracted after June 6, 1999

Hypoglycemia and digititis have no sway over me

Intubated on May 30, 1999

I found a scrap of paper in my pocket

Rebutted on May 23, 1999

Dangerous evidence kept cropping up

Regurgitated prior to May 16, 1999

The perfunctory margin of disbelief

Apprenticed to May 9, 1999

Semper sic tyrannis

Calculated and compiled on May 2, 1999

Am I lost!? Am I low on oil!?

Hydrogenated for April 11, 1999

The seventeenth best day of my life

Dissipated before March 21, 1999

I took the pile of animal feces out of my garage

Electrolyzed for March 14, 1999

The stars scream at me, but why?

Conduced on March 7, 1999