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I took the pile of animal feces out of my garage

Electrolyzed for March 14, 1999.

This week, Ambrose Burnside spoke to me. I found his horse, so he had to. He told me something about a pile of animal feces I supposedly had stashed in my closet. I had to tell him the truth, of course; I didn’t have any crap in my closet—I did have fifty-seven bottles of cat urine though. That was nice. I guess that was what he was talking about. Then a coup d’état took place and I left quickly.

Therefore, I took the pile of animal feces out of my garage (that’s where it really was), and fed them to the Man in the Moon. He liked them. I ate a small fruitcake made by a woman with the initials “AEF.” She appeared to be calm and collected.

There go the stars again…