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Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

Entries mentioning rodents

By the bag, the can, the bottle, and the flask

Trashed on September 29, 2024

A wild eep out of place and time

Moofed at on September 15, 2024

Endless rows of houses

Planned and zoned on August 11, 2024

Too many answers

Declared on July 14, 2024

Too many questions

Questioned on July 7, 2024

Transfixed, perplexed, and duplexed

Eased on June 9, 2024

Cows, cowboys, cowgirls, and so much mooing

Milked on June 2, 2024

Purple prose asphyxia

Blockaded on May 26, 2024

One moron’s opinion

Opined for May 19, 2024

Nose, the best smelling device

Stunk down on April 28, 2024

So many questions

Trebled on April 21, 2024

The Sun absconded yet I rest assured

Annulated on April 14, 2024

An antelope with a pair of cantaloupes

Hight on April 7, 2024

The stench of failure

Stunk up on March 31, 2024

There’s a joke in here somewhere

Pedicured on March 17, 2024

The case of the windy toilet

Manicured on March 10, 2024

Pig-headed and ham-fisted

Cleaved on March 3, 2024

Seven point three hundred

Paltered on February 25, 2024

Angry monkey syndrome, a dishdirtier

Illustrated on February 4, 2024

Shaken and stir crazy

Swept on January 21, 2024

The tapering of taped cans and candies

Canned on January 7, 2024

The splaying of resplendent splendiferousness

Cobbled together on December 31, 2023

Snow crabs and snow leopards

Piled up upon December 3, 2023

Do better

Retracted on November 26, 2023

A Sefernday to surely forget

Sefernalized on November 19, 2023

Musings on the salad of chicken and eggs

Emulsified on November 5, 2023

An oversized capybara, a staccato cadence

Hobbled on October 22, 2023

A week of weekdays and their horrors

Manacled on October 8, 2023

For want of a letterbox

Shackled on October 1, 2023

A bolo tie and a blogging accident

Haberdashed on September 24, 2023

The Aroostook Roo Store

Rued the day of September 17, 2023

By fish or by Finn

Finished after September 10, 2023

Corn gone bacon and eggs

Consterned on September 3, 2023

Cwæþ the Pnårp

Jactitated on August 27, 2023

Negotiating a goats-for-oats deal

Abnegated on August 20, 2023

Playing a katydid like a fiddle

Diddled on August 6, 2023

Ratiocination and a rat

Bugged off on July 9, 2023

Dogs that ate backwards

Reversed on June 25, 2023

Gearless largesse and rageless eelgrass

Snorkeled on June 11, 2023

It doesn’t have to—but I always do

Needn’t on June 4, 2023

Crap! Carp! Scrap! Scarp!

Sworn on May 21, 2023

Why fish don’t have feet

Expiscated on May 7, 2023

A monolithic dump

Pumped and dumped on April 30, 2023

A turtle extended its neck and quacked

Resisted on April 23, 2023

Being a little bit taller

Racked on April 16, 2023

Being six feet tall

Fathomed on April 9, 2023

The unwary victim of cellular ennui

Metabolized on April 2, 2023

Cities of obsidian in the Canadian Shield

Dismantled on March 26, 2023

The day ended before it began

Endorsed on March 19, 2023

To be a featureless white worm

Gouged out on March 12, 2023

Landing head-first in March

Made it on March 5, 2023

To catch a fly

Lashed on February 26, 2023

My spaghetti trees had all flowered

Disassembled on February 19, 2023

And the rest was history

Revised for February 12, 2023

The house that Pnårp built

Stacked like cordwood on February 5, 2023

A mystery of hasps and coat hangers

Fastened on January 29, 2023

Thinking for myself

Cerebrated on January 22, 2023

No more barriers to cross

Surpassed on January 15, 2023

Feeling rather non-Euclidean

Knotted on January 8, 2023

I am my thoughts… I am time

Annuated on January 1, 2023

A real galleyshnogger of a Christmas

Dove in on December 25, 2022

Toppings on the bottom?

Bottomed out on December 18, 2022

We were bipedal murder chickens

Corned on December 11, 2022

Al Gore: A User’s Manual

Peered at on December 4, 2022

Thanksgiving with the McBorbleys

Thanks given on November 27, 2022

You are a crazy person

Maddened on November 20, 2022

Change you can be leaf in

Bogged down on November 13, 2022

A draught horse, serendipity, and a bankruptcy

Forstraught on October 30, 2022

I wish my spoons were stronger

Snooped on October 23, 2022

Autumn had arrived

Floundered on October 16, 2022

The deep toaster

Smeared on October 9, 2022

And then the flies danced

Smelt on October 2, 2022

Yet still bereft of meaning

Creamed on September 25, 2022

A veritable trash dump of words

Whipped on September 18, 2022

“If” is the middle word in “life”

Horrified on September 11, 2022

On any given day

Plotted and schemed on August 21, 2022

Up to my ass in alligators

Endangered on August 7, 2022

Squirrels, squeeorling, syrup of squill, and squee

Cocked up on July 24, 2022

Gnocco after gnocco

Knocked on on July 10, 2022

The long, greasy road

Lubed up on July 3, 2022

A stack of dictionaries, a goat, and the ensuing manure

Stacked high on June 26, 2022

Wernicke, Broca, and a two-week, drug-fueled bender

Refueled on June 19, 2022

A squiddy meal, a goosey girl, and moles of gnomes

Wriggled on June 5, 2022

Miscounting the protons

Demisemiquavered on May 22, 2022

Batting the package

Semiquavered on May 15, 2022

Whittling the knittery

Quavered on May 8, 2022

Flogging the dinosaur

Flailed around on May 1, 2022

A stubby little short week

Trolloped around on April 24, 2022

A wanted carton of wontons

Trotted out on April 10, 2022

A curious nine-day week

Dialed on April 3, 2022

The twentieth best day of my life

Easily understood on March 20, 2022

A hilarious pair of ducks

Redpilled on March 13, 2022

The stars screamed at me, but why?

Shredded on March 6, 2022

An arduous, odorous, ordurous affair

Cannibalized on February 27, 2022

Interwoven threads of witless boobery

Spiked on February 20, 2022

Three-eyed gnomes, a lighthouse, and a pair of feet

Erred on February 13, 2022

The door slammed in my face

Slammed on January 30, 2022

Confound delivery

Starched on January 16, 2022

New years and new neighbors

Bunted on January 2, 2022

Collecting the caps from every bottle of light cream

Collected before December 26, 2021

Vigorously shaking every Solanum dulcamara

Vigorously shook before December 19, 2021

Vigorously shaking every ficus tree

Shook before December 12, 2021

Shouting at every houseplant

Shouted at before December 5, 2021

An adventure in Dingleberry–Dumpsterism

Dumped and stirred on November 28, 2021

The Dingleberry–Hampsterist–Schmarnocks war

Embattled on November 21, 2021

To muffle up a gooſe

Muffled up on October 31, 2021

Dugong, budong, hotdog, and hoe

Frowned at on October 3, 2021

Excrescence and excreta

Unfolded on September 26, 2021

Losing weight at the lost-and-found

Bonked on September 19, 2021

The pink, sticky day ended

Chaptered and versed on September 12, 2021

Wearing orange after Labor Day

Fluoresced on September 5, 2021

And then I’ll fart one more time, and…

Intruded upon August 29, 2021

And I still couldn’t find my comb

Nosedove before August 22, 2021

To not be a six-foot-tall man–squirrel

Squeeorled on August 15, 2021

Today I was being a…

Squirreled on August 8, 2021

Not a typewriter

Tabulated on July 25, 2021

An Independence Day to remember

In the pants on July 4, 2021

To narfle the gömböc

Balanced on June 27, 2021

Another day, another pig war

Splined on June 20, 2021

Too many Sundays

Quintupled on May 30, 2021

Great Dane or greatest Dane?

Deigned on May 23, 2021

200,000 flip-flop–related injuries

Discalceated on May 9, 2021

The Hanes–Heinz problem

Caught up on May 2, 2021

Christmas, goats, and the fiscal cliff

Goat got on December 30, 2012

This coming Friday…

Prognosticated after December 16, 2012

Mooey, mooey, moo!

Lowed at on December 9, 2012

Horses, drugs, and some Volvos

Revolved around December 2, 2012

A paean to funnels

Funneled on November 25, 2012

The geese were angry

Angered before November 4, 2012

Ziti—with lines, please

Lollygagged on October 28, 2012

Meals and utensils and straws, oh my!

Bluely rinsed on October 7, 2012

In my own back yard

Extirpated on September 30, 2012

Livin’ large in the large intestine

Emboweled on September 23, 2012

The September that wouldn’t be

Elided on September 2, 2012

My competitive worm charming days

Vermiculated on August 26, 2012

The turtle herds of insomnia

NōDōz’d on August 12, 2012

Upon the Fimbriated Planet

Flabbled about on August 5, 2012

And the neckties writhed

Spiraled around July 29, 2012

The ÅSS Goose from the Machine

Bageled on July 22, 2012

Planet of the geese

Honked at on July 15, 2012

A hortensical Sefernday

Hortensed on July 1, 2012

Fungous hitchhikers from outer space

Rocketed on June 24, 2012

My skin was thinking

Considered for June 3, 2012

My neighbor—he’s on fire

Detonated on May 27, 2012

The green apple bee-bop

Hydrated on May 20, 2012

The death of Argo Navis

Trisected before April 29, 2012

A lunchable lemony apple key

Open-appled on April 22, 2012

A box! A box! A box of…

Puttered about on April 15, 2012

Gurning for two

Faces made before April 8, 2012

Surviving April Fools Day

Foxholed on April 1, 2012

To order a coffee

Caffeinated on March 25, 2012

Toad rental—cheap!

Rented on March 18, 2012

I was dead

Expired around February 26, 2012

A Ho-Mg-Zn icosahedral quasicrystal

Fractured on February 12, 2012

Thoughts diverging from reality

Converging on January 29, 2012

Thoughts converging toward reality

Diverging from January 22, 2012

And then the cold cuts danced

Ronpauled on January 15, 2012

Dreams in a hole in the ground

Trespassed before January 1, 2012

A journey to Upper Silesia

Gruelled on December 18, 2011

A sally to the Kremlin

Red squared on December 11, 2011

A jaunt to Washington, D.C.

Filibustered on December 4, 2011

Grunting and squeaking in the goatburping park

Soil sampled on November 13, 2011

Like a herd of turtles

Frightened on November 6, 2011

Schtumpfenfrumpt!

Stumped on October 16, 2011

A snootful of donuts

Imbibed before October 2, 2011

A paean to panic

Glibbered about on September 25, 2011

Gnomes? In my photocopier?

Litigated before September 18, 2011

Ten years

Hijacked on September 11, 2011

The toadskin kazoo

Toads skinned on September 4, 2011

A stick of pepperoni a day

Bordured on August 21, 2011

A skeezle-wumpus? In my cabinets?

Marred on August 14, 2011

The day ended

Gibbered about on August 7, 2011

Just shaving the dog

Preened on July 31, 2011

Impossibly shaped bowls

Whiled away before July 10, 2011

Just so he could moo at someone

Percolated on July 3, 2011

The end of doodlewhacker pie

Bloomed on June 26, 2011

Moobly Sefernday!

Borndwiddied on June 19, 2011

What the heck… is bothering me?

Chanted on June 12, 2011

Potted meat

Unpotted on June 5, 2011

Incipits being rather popish

Lubricated on May 22, 2011

Reflecting on corn gone wrong

Paroled on May 15, 2011

The tight, grimacing face

Impacted before April 17, 2011

Plårp and I did our best

Potted on April 10, 2011

Cool beans

Beaned on March 27, 2011

The hobnailery on Hobgoblin Street

Borfnagled on March 6, 2011

A dark and Strommy night

Thurmonned on February 27, 2011

A dark and spammy night

LARTed on February 20, 2011

A dark and smarmy night

Self-satisfied on February 13, 2011

Requiem for a triangular briefcase

Immured on January 30, 2011

In feckless search of a new body

Transplanted before January 23, 2011

The Christ-O-Mart on Crunkner Boulevard

Transubstantiated before January 16, 2011

Fluffernutter… or treacle?

Stickied on January 2, 2011

A vainglorious, hooting, tooting Christmas

Clamored about on December 26, 2010

Happy birthday, Alyssa Milano!

Feet worshipped on December 19, 2010

An alabasterously magnificent find

Found before December 5, 2010

375 gorillas and some flower pots

Dumbstruck on November 28, 2010

The frozen Pnårp

Last thing I remembered on October 24, 2010

Ollanthorpe Memorial Hospital

Atrophied before October 10, 2010

Phbthphbthphbthphbththth!

Flatulated on October 3, 2010

An offer he couldn’t refuse

Unmitigated on September 26, 2010

Skipping Wednesday

Slid past on September 12, 2010

Parndiddle McForsterbaster

Pinned up on September 5, 2010

Death by simultaneous drowning and dehydration

Dumbled for August 29, 2010

Tater-totting crunkfire

Clapped on… clapped off on August 22, 2010

The disastrous ballad of Monica Lewinski’s feet

Shattered before August 15, 2010

Poesies and toesies indeed!

Tentacle-raped on July 25, 2010

Noshing on my favorite keyboard

Fluttered on July 4, 2010

The fleeting nuances of Dingleberry–Hampsterism

Guzzled on May 9, 2010

Dingleberry champion hamster

Plotted against on March 21, 2010

A Hilarius pair of ducks

Guffawed at after March 14, 2010

Ring above?

Rung above on May 25, 2008

eBGIQ7ZuuiU or bust

Gassed up on May 18, 2008

Alyssa Milano & the new adventures of Hitler

Snickerdickered on March 30, 2008

A whole pile of flapdoodles from Shitlingthorpe

Recollected on February 17, 2008

Today is January 27

Punched on January 27, 2008

Gnomes? In my kettles?

Nonsensed at January 20, 2008

Lo’ Kweeisha

Pornographed on January 13, 2008

Spaceworthy guardsquirrels

Decompressed on December 9, 2007

Free at last

Self-addressed and stamped on December 2, 2007

The one true goddess!

Duffeled on November 18, 2007

Snuffle off to Buffalo

Sniffled at on November 4, 2007

Strahazazhia smiles upon me

Gone wrong on October 28, 2007

Pnårp’s in space

Station-kept on September 30, 2007

Why do the stars scream?

Screamed about on September 16, 2007

Under Pam & Meg’s

Delved under on September 9, 2007

Dugongs abound in my ear canals!

Tiled over on August 19, 2007

Plårp, Plårp, Plårp!

Lopped off on July 29, 2007

Plårp!

Plopped down on July 15, 2007

Press any key

Pressed on June 24, 2007

Back to Harry’s

Ingratiated on June 10, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Homage

Legislated on April 8, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Taxes

Propagated on April 1, 2007

The laws of Phillip I

Promulgated on March 25, 2007

The restive provinces conquered

Excoriated before March 18, 2007

Alyssa Milano v. Phillip Norbert Årp

Entrenched under January 28, 2007

’Twas the night before Christmas

Prostituted on December 24, 2006

Bloviating and brachiating

Wrenched away from me on December 3, 2006

A busjacking by Jack Off Jill?

Theorized about on November 12, 2006

Jacking off Jill to a squirrel-fox-dingo

Hypothesized on November 5, 2006

Mesothelioma in a drainage ditch

Stir-fried for October 22, 2006

Gnomelandia Day

Filleted on October 15, 2006

Ollanthorpe Savings Bank

Puréed on October 1, 2006

I remembered a lot this week!

Chopped with a stick on September 24, 2006

As kudzu crept up her ankles

Encircled on August 13, 2006

New Gardegnomia

Navigated to on July 30, 2006

No dice

Gambled over on July 9, 2006

The dingleberry/hamster song

Sung for April 30, 2006

The haberdashery, act III

Haunted on March 19, 2006

Today being Christmas…

Made merry on December 25, 2005

Shitlingthorpe–Alabaster Flapdoodles

Zanzibarred on December 11, 2005

Dingleberry, hamster!

Cornpuffed for November 27, 2005

My house burned down today

Incinerated on November 20, 2005

A visit to Eigentoria

Emigrated on November 6, 2005

I shall visit Eigentoria

Bandied about on October 30, 2005

The return of the garden gnomes

Star-spangled high above September 25, 2005

Abortifacient skies, the burning air

Slobbered all over on September 11, 2005

Troobles, long and hard

Deluged on August 7, 2005

Soft, and steaming lightly

Castigated on July 31, 2005

The perspicacious side of the planet

Wienerschnitzeled on July 24, 2005

Music erupted from my bed cushions

Cosigned on April 24, 2005

My dear brother Grårp!

Crucified for March 13, 2005

The Englebee Troobles

Pondered upon August 8, 1999

Semper sic tyrannis

Calculated and compiled on May 2, 1999