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Plårp!

Plopped down on July 15, 2007.

My brother writes this week:

As I mentioned last week, dear readers, a computer tried to kill me, so now I’m deathly afraid of them—therefore, I’ve asked my dearest sister Pollyanna Louisa Årp (or as the family calls her, Plårp) to post this for me on the Internet tubes. If my dear readers have forgotten, Plårp has the cutest feet I’ve ever seen—they’re even more scrumptious than Alyssa Milano’s little lovelies!

Anyway, not much happened this week. Not much can happen when you’re hiding in a hole in the ground worried sick that your own computer is trying to murder you and will end up succeeding if you ever again show your face in front of it’s pale blue screen of death. Since that’s mostly what I was doing this week, not much happened.

Let’s see… stayed in the hole… went “pwee-pwee!” a lot… soiled myself thoroughly… enjoyed pictures of Alyssa Milano, the Spice Girls, Britney Spears, Jennifer Love Hewitt… all of them barefoot… ate, drank, slept, slew a legion of tiny, tiny gnomes in my spare time… had to sew my nose back on after a rat bit it off… ’bout it for this week, dear readers.

Now, it’s off to deliver this bare-bones missive to my dearest sister Plårp so she can copy it onto the computer and I can cower in fear on the other side of the room, perhaps taking a moment or two to ogle her feet and toes while she works.

See you next week, readers! Pwee, pwee, pwee!

Sincerely,

Phillip Norbert Årp

My brother won’t stop staring at my feet while I enter this for him into his computer. I think he’s gone even crazier than usual lately. Send help at once.