Subscribe to all of my blatherings right in your wob browser!Subscribe to my latest 25 blatherings right in your wob browser! Pnårp in print! Made from 35% recycled toilet paper! Send Pnårp your garrulous praise… or excretory condemnation! Tweet! Tweet! Twat! Livin’ it up… on a living journal! A whole book full of my faces? Where gravity itself gets its blog avatar! Red dits? Red edits? Read its…!?
You’re my favorite visitor!

Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

Entries mentioning drugs

“If” is the middle word in “life”

Horrified on September 11, 2022

History looked at me this week

Transported on September 4, 2022

The long, greasy road

Lubed up on July 3, 2022

A stack of dictionaries, a goat, and the ensuing manure

Stacked high on June 26, 2022

Wernicke, Broca, and a two-week, drug-fueled bender

Refueled on June 19, 2022

A squiddy meal, a goosey girl, and moles of gnomes

Wriggled on June 5, 2022

Whittling the knittery

Quavered on May 8, 2022

An exaggeratedly long week

Galloped about on April 17, 2022

Seven point two hundred

Committed on March 27, 2022

A hilarious pair of ducks

Redpilled on March 13, 2022

Interwoven threads of witless boobery

Spiked on February 20, 2022

Three-eyed gnomes, a lighthouse, and a pair of feet

Erred on February 13, 2022

Carpathian Carpentry Gnomes? In my kitchen?

Hammered on February 6, 2022

Hard avocados and soft stones

Ripened on January 23, 2022

Confound delivery

Starched on January 16, 2022

New years and new neighbors

Bunted on January 2, 2022

Collecting the caps from every bottle of light cream

Collected before December 26, 2021

Vigorously shaking every Solanum dulcamara

Vigorously shook before December 19, 2021

Shouting at every houseplant

Shouted at before December 5, 2021

An adventure in Dingleberry–Dumpsterism

Dumped and stirred on November 28, 2021

The Dingleberry–Hampsterist–Schmarnocks war

Embattled on November 21, 2021

To muffle up a gooſe

Muffled up on October 31, 2021

A Sefernday to ſurely remember

Obſerved on October 24, 2021

Plantago delenda est

Planted on October 17, 2021

Dugong, budong, hotdog, and hoe

Frowned at on October 3, 2021

Losing weight at the lost-and-found

Bonked on September 19, 2021

And then I’ll fart one more time, and…

Intruded upon August 29, 2021

Time to draw the bull

Ejaculated on August 1, 2021

Not a typewriter

Tabulated on July 25, 2021

José Vargas de las Joyas Matemáticas

Divided by zero on June 13, 2021

An infinite pie

Unbounded on June 6, 2021

Too many Sundays

Quintupled on May 30, 2021

Great Dane or greatest Dane?

Deigned on May 23, 2021

A costly, costive dilemma

Clystered on April 4, 2021

An arpeggio for Snarpegon

Spatchcocked on March 28, 2021

Maybe it was the location

Tripped out on March 21, 2021

Toiling away smoilishly

Toiled away on March 14, 2021

This coming Friday…

Prognosticated after December 16, 2012

Horses, drugs, and some Volvos

Revolved around December 2, 2012

A parable that should explain everything

Enchanted on November 18, 2012

Ungabungabugandabunga!

Land-locked on November 11, 2012

The geese were angry

Angered before November 4, 2012

Ziti—with lines, please

Lollygagged on October 28, 2012

The nauga war

Tanned on October 14, 2012

My competitive worm charming days

Vermiculated on August 26, 2012

The turtle herds of insomnia

NōDōz’d on August 12, 2012

I am the humperdumperdink!

Dumped and dinked on June 10, 2012

My skin was thinking

Considered for June 3, 2012

The green apple bee-bop

Hydrated on May 20, 2012

Hoarsely the Pnårp sang

Horsed around on May 13, 2012

Vox clamantis in deserto

Cheddared on May 6, 2012

A lunchable lemony apple key

Open-appled on April 22, 2012

Surviving April Fools Day

Foxholed on April 1, 2012

To order a coffee

Caffeinated on March 25, 2012

Toad rental—cheap!

Rented on March 18, 2012

Axons across beard-seconds of darkness

Stretched out February 19, 2012

A Ho-Mg-Zn icosahedral quasicrystal

Fractured on February 12, 2012

Thoughts diverging from reality

Converging on January 29, 2012

A journey to Upper Silesia

Gruelled on December 18, 2011

A jaunt to Washington, D.C.

Filibustered on December 4, 2011

Goatburping and speechifying

Blustered about before November 20, 2011

Squee! Squee! Squee!

Snoozed on October 9, 2011

A snootful of donuts

Imbibed before October 2, 2011

The toadskin kazoo

Toads skinned on September 4, 2011

A stick of pepperoni a day

Bordured on August 21, 2011

The day ended

Gibbered about on August 7, 2011

The end of doodlewhacker pie

Bloomed on June 26, 2011

Hnnnngggghhhh!

Strained on May 1, 2011

Dyssynergic defecation

Splashed down on April 24, 2011

The tight, grimacing face

Impacted before April 17, 2011

A dark and spammy night

LARTed on February 20, 2011

Back to Pam & Meg’s

Goatmulched on December 12, 2010

Ravna and a tub of port wine cheese spread

Slathered all over on November 21, 2010

Mr. Årp goes to city hall

Carpetbagged on November 14, 2010

Death by simultaneous drowning and dehydration

Dumbled for August 29, 2010

Noshing on my favorite keyboard

Fluttered on July 4, 2010

Do, guppy, guppy!

Guppied on May 4, 2008

High… on life

Hepped up on April 20, 2008

Today is January 27

Prevaricated on January 27, 2008

Pnårp’s in space

Station-kept on September 30, 2007

Under Pam & Meg’s

Delved under on September 9, 2007

Ol’ Grummie’s back!

Bungled up on June 3, 2007

Music erupted from my bed cushions again

Strafed on January 7, 2007

As kudzu crept up her ankles

Encircled on August 13, 2006

Incipient garden gnomes pouring down again

Wined & dined on August 6, 2006

The haberdashery, act II

Flaunted on March 12, 2006

The Englebee Troobles

Pondered upon August 8, 1999

The perfunctory margin of disbelief

Apprenticed to May 9, 1999