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I saw an iMac, a greenish-blue flavored one

Popularized for April 10, 2005.

The noisy and illustrious spiders and stars kept me awake all week. I didn’t sleep a single widget-amount nor a plink. I spied a pincer monkey gnashing its teeth and racing a car around my bedroom’s wallpapered walls on Tuesday, Wednesday, and part of Thursday.

The paradoxes of pairs of ducks are unexplainable. Inexplicable. Inscrutable. Machine-washable. They can perform complex double integrals with exponential and derivative integrands at the speed of an unweighted Higgs boson! They can rasterize and carbonize any intricately consolidated equipotential bivalent nuclear force with amazing aptitude, sagacity, and indefatigability. They can even extort money from Al Capone!

Please find out what I was doing this Saturday morning. It was very elliptically interesting. Even with a comb, it was still… partisan. Deaf-defying. Onion-like, you could even say. Magnanimously efficient. Carbonaceously graceful! I ate a ham and salami sandwich, with some more ham and salami in my root beer float. I saw an iMac, a greenish-blue flavored one, next to the news server of the shoe of the bong-hit of the universal sublime plenum (poor Mr. Wilson?). It was interesting: It even had a two-button mouse, and a crackpipe. June was interesting. I think I am being followed by my evil ex-neighbor, Samuel Dreckers. I wish Mister Ollanthorpe von Sträsmussenbörg were still alive. He could tell me what to do. He could tell me why I never found any Englebee Troobles, especially the one who loved Alyssa Milano’s feet. Or did he love the Spice Girls’ feet? Those are very nice. I cannot remember…

I pressed the “µ” key on my keyboard and can’t type anything now. I must scratch this into my monitor manually now, then re-scratch it with a very fine needle into the hard disk. Maybe I need a new rubber ducky.