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Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

Entries mentioning birds

A veritable trash dump of words

Whipped on September 18, 2022

“If” is the middle word in “life”

Horrified on September 11, 2022

History looked at me this week

Transported on September 4, 2022

Pinguid penguins, disparate parrots, and a Studebaker

Basted on August 28, 2022

On any given day

Plotted and schemed on August 21, 2022

Catastrophes—but no anastrophe

Mishappened on August 14, 2022

Up to my ass in alligators

Endangered on August 7, 2022

Two halves of a bagel

Misaligned on July 31, 2022

Squirrels, squeeorling, syrup of squill, and squee

Cocked up on July 24, 2022

Gnocco after gnocco

Knocked on on July 10, 2022

The long, greasy road

Lubed up on July 3, 2022

Fleas, flies, and friars!

Peddled on June 12, 2022

A squiddy meal, a goosey girl, and moles of gnomes

Wriggled on June 5, 2022

Batting the package

Semiquavered on May 15, 2022

Flogging the dinosaur

Flailed around on May 1, 2022

A stubby little short week

Trolloped around on April 24, 2022

An exaggeratedly long week

Galloped about on April 17, 2022

A wanted carton of wontons

Trotted out on April 10, 2022

A curious nine-day week

Dialed on April 3, 2022

Seven point two hundred

Committed on March 27, 2022

The twentieth best day of my life

Easily understood on March 20, 2022

A hilarious pair of ducks

Redpilled on March 13, 2022

The stars screamed at me, but why?

Shredded on March 6, 2022

An arduous, odorous, ordurous affair

Cannibalized on February 27, 2022

Interwoven threads of witless boobery

Spiked on February 20, 2022

Carpathian Carpentry Gnomes? In my kitchen?

Hammered on February 6, 2022

The door slammed in my face

Slammed on January 30, 2022

Hard avocados and soft stones

Ripened on January 23, 2022

Confound delivery

Starched on January 16, 2022

Nothing happened

Obliviated on January 9, 2022

New years and new neighbors

Bunted on January 2, 2022

Collecting the caps from every bottle of light cream

Collected before December 26, 2021

Vigorously shaking every Solanum dulcamara

Vigorously shook before December 19, 2021

Vigorously shaking every ficus tree

Shook before December 12, 2021

An adventure in Dingleberry–Dumpsterism

Dumped and stirred on November 28, 2021

The Dingleberry–Hampsterist–Schmarnocks war

Embattled on November 21, 2021

An out-of-place trashcan

Recycled on November 14, 2021

A Halloween to surely forget

Spooked before November 7, 2021

To muffle up a gooſe

Muffled up on October 31, 2021

A Sefernday to ſurely remember

Obſerved on October 24, 2021

Plantago delenda est

Planted on October 17, 2021

Dugong, budong, hotdog, and hoe

Frowned at on October 3, 2021

Excrescence and excreta

Unfolded on September 26, 2021

Losing weight at the lost-and-found

Bonked on September 19, 2021

The pink, sticky day ended

Chaptered and versed on September 12, 2021

Wearing orange after Labor Day

Fluoresced on September 5, 2021

And then I’ll fart one more time, and…

Intruded upon August 29, 2021

And I still couldn’t find my comb

Nosedove before August 22, 2021

To not be a six-foot-tall man–squirrel

Squeeorled on August 15, 2021

Today I was being a…

Squirreled on August 8, 2021

Time to draw the bull

Ejaculated on August 1, 2021

Not a typewriter

Tabulated on July 25, 2021

Fish upon the land

Phished on July 18, 2021

My arm just follows them

Detached on July 11, 2021

An Independence Day to remember

In the pants on July 4, 2021

Another day, another pig war

Splined on June 20, 2021

An infinite pie

Unbounded on June 6, 2021

Too many Sundays

Quintupled on May 30, 2021

A dire problem of diphthongs and diacritics

Ired on May 16, 2021

200,000 flip-flop–related injuries

Discalceated on May 9, 2021

The Hanes–Heinz problem

Caught up on May 2, 2021

Keeping those goats down in the hole

Bored on April 18, 2021

From Commodus to Vespasian—

Detruded on April 11, 2021

A costly, costive dilemma

Clystered on April 4, 2021

An arpeggio for Snarpegon

Spatchcocked on March 28, 2021

With a bubble and a squeak…

Bubbled and squeaked on March 7, 2021

Christmas, goats, and the fiscal cliff

Goat got on December 30, 2012

This coming Friday…

Prognosticated after December 16, 2012

Mooey, mooey, moo!

Lowed at on December 9, 2012

A paean to funnels

Funneled on November 25, 2012

A parable that should explain everything

Enchanted on November 18, 2012

The geese were angry

Angered before November 4, 2012

Ziti—with lines, please

Lollygagged on October 28, 2012

The nauga war

Tanned on October 14, 2012

In my own back yard

Extirpated on September 30, 2012

Livin’ large in the large intestine

Emboweled on September 23, 2012

Illin’ in the ileum

Chillin’ on September 16, 2012

A sojourn through the jejunum

Catabolized on September 9, 2012

The September that wouldn’t be

Elided on September 2, 2012

My competitive worm charming days

Vermiculated on August 26, 2012

When Saturday is Sunday

Blown right past August 19, 2012

The turtle herds of insomnia

NōDōz’d on August 12, 2012

Upon the Fimbriated Planet

Flabbled about on August 5, 2012

And the neckties writhed

Spiraled around July 29, 2012

The ÅSS Goose from the Machine

Bageled on July 22, 2012

Planet of the geese

Honked at on July 15, 2012

A hortensical Sefernday

Hortensed on July 1, 2012

Fungous hitchhikers from outer space

Rocketed on June 24, 2012

The Bagel Nebula, you stinky monkeys!

Humped and dumped on June 17, 2012

I am the humperdumperdink!

Dumped and dinked on June 10, 2012

My skin was thinking

Considered for June 3, 2012

The green apple bee-bop

Hydrated on May 20, 2012

Hoarsely the Pnårp sang

Horsed around on May 13, 2012

Vox clamantis in deserto

Cheddared on May 6, 2012

The death of Argo Navis

Trisected before April 29, 2012

A lunchable lemony apple key

Open-appled on April 22, 2012

A box! A box! A box of…

Puttered about on April 15, 2012

Gurning for two

Faces made before April 8, 2012

Surviving April Fools Day

Foxholed on April 1, 2012

To order a coffee

Caffeinated on March 25, 2012

Toad rental—cheap!

Rented on March 18, 2012

I was dead

Expired around February 26, 2012

Axons across beard-seconds of darkness

Stretched out February 19, 2012

A Ho-Mg-Zn icosahedral quasicrystal

Fractured on February 12, 2012

Seven point one hundred

Released on February 5, 2012

Thoughts diverging from reality

Converging on January 29, 2012

Thoughts converging toward reality

Diverging from January 22, 2012

And then the cold cuts danced

Ronpauled on January 15, 2012

This entry is missing!

Misplaced before January 8, 2012

Dreams in a hole in the ground

Trespassed before January 1, 2012

A sleigh ride to the North Pole

Kringled on December 25, 2011

A journey to upper Silesia

Gruelled on December 18, 2011

A sally to the Kremlin

Red squared on December 11, 2011

A jaunt to Washington, D.C.

Filibustered on December 4, 2011

A trip to southern Moravia

Plunged off a cliff on November 27, 2011

Goatburping and speechifying

Blustered about before November 20, 2011

Grunting and squeaking in the goatburping park

Soil sampled on November 13, 2011

Like a herd of turtles

Frightened on November 6, 2011

Fimbriated armless and legless

Charged on October 30, 2011

Quack! Quack! Quack, quack, quack!!

Ducked on October 23, 2011

Schtumpfenfrumpt!

Stumped on October 16, 2011

Squee! Squee! Squee!

Snoozed on October 9, 2011

A snootful of donuts

Imbibed before October 2, 2011

A paean to panic

Glibbered about on September 25, 2011

The toadskin kazoo

Toads skinned on September 4, 2011

A stick of pepperoni a day

Bordured on August 21, 2011

A skeezle-wumpus? In my cabinets?

Marred on August 14, 2011

The day ended

Gibbered about on August 7, 2011

Just shaving the dog

Preened on July 31, 2011

Disgorgement and cheddar

Squassated on July 24, 2011

The harooloos grew closer

Repositioned on July 17, 2011

Impossibly shaped bowls

Whiled away before July 10, 2011

Just so he could moo at someone

Percolated on July 3, 2011

The end of doodlewhacker pie

Bloomed on June 26, 2011

Moobly Sefernday!

Borndwiddied on June 19, 2011

What the heck… is bothering me?

Chanted on June 12, 2011

A discourse on shrieking

Babbled about on May 29, 2011

Reflecting on corn gone wrong

Paroled on May 15, 2011

Today being Mamårp’s day

Smothered on May 8, 2011

The tight, grimacing face

Impacted before April 17, 2011

Sigmund Freud would be proud

Electrified on April 3, 2011

Cool beans

Beaned on March 27, 2011

Pnårp.com!

Crossing Pnårp Road on March 13, 2011

The hobnailery on Hobgoblin Street

Borfnagled on March 6, 2011

A dark and Strommy night

Thurmonned on February 27, 2011

A dark and smarmy night

Self-satisfied on February 13, 2011

A dark and stormy night

Stormdrained on February 6, 2011

Requiem for a triangular briefcase

Immured on January 30, 2011

In feckless search of a new body

Transplanted before January 23, 2011

The Christ-O-Mart on Crunkner Boulevard

Transubstantiated before January 16, 2011

Dr. Unterguggenburgerheimer!

Diagnosed on January 9, 2011

Happy birthday, Alyssa Milano!

Feet worshipped on December 19, 2010

An alabasterously magnificent find

Found before December 5, 2010

375 gorillas and some flower pots

Dumbstruck on November 28, 2010

Ravna and a tub of port wine cheese spread

Slathered all over on November 21, 2010

Mr. Årp goes to city hall

Carpetbagged on November 14, 2010

The frozen Pnårp

Last thing I remembered on October 24, 2010

An offer he couldn’t refuse

Unmitigated on September 26, 2010

Parndiddle McForsterbaster

Pinned up on September 5, 2010

The disastrous ballad of Monica Lewinski’s feet

Shattered before August 15, 2010

Noshing on my favorite keyboard

Fluttered on July 4, 2010

Psycho Chicken With Fingers On Top!

Squawked upon prior to June 13, 2010

Joyful Sefernday, everyone!

Envisaged on June 6, 2010

Oh, the serendipity!

Squelched through on May 30, 2010

Thousands of Eggmen against one little Pnårp

Destalinized on May 2, 2010

I had eggs today!

Oviposited on April 18, 2010

A plan is hatched

Hatched right before April 4, 2010

Dingleberry champion hamster

Plotted against on March 21, 2010

A Hilarius pair of ducks

Guffawed at after March 14, 2010

Through the tunnel

Crossed over on July 27, 2008

The perfunctory margin of disbelief, part II

Reified on June 29, 2008

Quack! Quack! Quack!!

Quackenbushed on May 11, 2008

Do, guppy, guppy!

Guppied on May 4, 2008

A whole pile of flapdoodles from Shitlingthorpe

Recollected on February 17, 2008

Bubble wrap and bubble butts

Thawed on January 6, 2008

The one true goddess!

Duffeled on November 18, 2007

Snuffle off to Buffalo

Sniffled at on November 4, 2007

Strahazazhia smiles upon me

Gone wrong on October 28, 2007

Why does the pi float?

Floated by on September 23, 2007

Under Pam & Meg’s

Delved under on September 9, 2007

Grumfeld redux

Simmered on September 2, 2007

Dugongs abound in my ear canals!

Tiled over on August 19, 2007

Paisley time

Enslaved on June 17, 2007

Ol’ Grummie’s back!

Bungled up on June 3, 2007

Squish-&-honk!

Peppered lightly with May 13, 2007

Toe-visages on the Sefernday

Splayed on April 29, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Last decree

Decreed on April 15, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Homage

Legislated on April 8, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Taxes

Propagated on April 1, 2007

The laws of Phillip I

Promulgated on March 25, 2007

The restive provinces conquered

Excoriated before March 18, 2007

Eight years

Anniversed four days before March 11, 2007

131,072 Schmongeloid conscripts

Decimated on March 4, 2007

No one expects the Schmalkaldic League

Vanquished on February 25, 2007

Alyssa Milano v. Phillip Norbert Årp

Entrenched under January 28, 2007

The Great Fluffernutter Deluge of ’58

Whored out on December 10, 2006

Loquisha, you hornswoggler!

Added to taste on October 29, 2006

Ollanthorpe Savings Bank

Puréed on October 1, 2006

I remembered a lot this week!

Chopped with a stick on September 24, 2006

Terrorists! Terrorists!!

Sporked with some tongs on September 17, 2006

Attacked by tadpoles!

Stabbed with a fork on September 3, 2006

Busy: Ankle-crawling kudzu

Toddled about on August 27, 2006

Busy: A whole flock of geese

Goosed before August 20, 2006

As kudzu crept up her ankles

Encircled on August 13, 2006

This is Phillip Norbert Årp’s ship

Appeased prior to July 2, 2006

A cock-up, to be sure

Erected on June 4, 2006

Oatmeal cookies and their spies

Weeded on May 21, 2006

My oatmeal cookies

Surveilled pursuant to May 7, 2006

Pam & Meg’s

Wheeled about on April 23, 2006

Hobnobbishly bamboozled, she said

Interrupted before February 5, 2006

Busy this week too!

Put out on January 29, 2006

Busy this week!

Placed next to January 22, 2006

She isn’t dead!

Copulated after January 15, 2006

Today being Christmas…

Made merry on December 25, 2005

Caught in a wet noodling contest

Noodled on October 16, 2005

Eigenfactor

Given to charity prior to May 22, 2005

I saw an iMac, a greenish-blue flavored one

Optimized for April 10, 2005

The Troobles exist…

Inoculated on January 30, 2005

I had failed

Hidden above my bed on October 17, 1999

Someone accused me of screwing a pheasant

Remixed before September 12, 1999