Too many questions
Questioned on July 7, 2024.
Why does the dog bark off in the distance? Why does the hog snark off in the distance? Why were there goats ensconced in my couch? Why did dinner plates fly from every direction? Why did the spiders begin to sing and chant? Why was someone knitting in the next cell over? Why did Pope Francis add Superman to the Sistine Chapel? Why did I hide in a cubbyhole and wait? Why did Mayor Julian Rhoodie feed the homeless to each other? Why did I drop a bag of turds in the road?
Why does the goose honk off in the distance? Why didn’t that dirigible work as a submersible? Why were my cheesy ruminations cut short? Why was I missing my heart and both my eyes? Why are there no garden gnomes in Hell? Why did that goat farm the Korn field? Why do flying transcendental numbers never like pies? Why should you fight the future? Why did I keep those goats down in the hole? Why did the Brundlesphere disgorge me once again?
Why does the schmog dork off in the distance? Why did I launch myself from my Hopeless Slack-Ass® recliner? Why isn’t Gnomelandia Day next week anymore? Why did I reply with vulgar pepperoni noises and hang up on myself? Why were the Fendippitous Eggmen here? Why did I shout “Dingleberry hamster cherry pie!”? Why is my nose the best smelling device I have ever owned? Why did breakfast time give way to lunchtime? Why did the bacornucopia in my basement continue to wait silently? Why did Borbra stare in her goosey and be-sandaled way at me?
Why am I asking so many questions? Why is no one else asking any of these questions? Why am I not asking other questions? Why am I asking these questions? Why am I not asking those questions over there? Why not bigger, longer, louder questions? Why not smaller, shorter, softer questions? Why not questions about goats? Why not questions about boats? Why not questions about goats in boats?
Why ask why? Why not ask why? Why ask why not? Why not ask why not? Why not ask why ask why not? Why not ask why not ask why ask why not? Why even ask anything at all? Why don’t you know everything already? Why don’t you have a brain the size of the Universe (like I do)? Why, why, why?
Why do I have two feet and not six? Why do bugs have six feet and not two? Why do spiders have two more than that—and not too less? Why do chickens have two feet, two wings, and a beak? Why do potatoes have zero feet, fewer wings, but two beaks?
Why dibble dibble, while the fork gripped a pibble? Why pooble pooble, while the spork woobled a nooble? Why aren’t these words in English? Why did I write them if they’re not words in English? Why are they words at all?
Why are there so many questions?