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Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

Entries mentioning buttocks

Up to my ass in alligators

Endangered on August 7, 2022

Two halves of a bagel

Misaligned on July 31, 2022

Tuck in flap to close

Knocked up on July 17, 2022

Gnocco after gnocco

Knocked on on July 10, 2022

The long, greasy road

Lubed up on July 3, 2022

A stack of dictionaries, a goat, and the ensuing manure

Stacked high on June 26, 2022

Wernicke, Broca, and a two-week, drug-fueled bender

Refueled on June 19, 2022

Dogging the Balphonse

Hemidemisemiquavered on May 29, 2022

Batting the package

Semiquavered on May 15, 2022

Whittling the knittery

Quavered on May 8, 2022

Flogging the dinosaur

Flailed around on May 1, 2022

A stubby little short week

Trolloped around on April 24, 2022

An exaggeratedly long week

Galloped about on April 17, 2022

A curious nine-day week

Dialed on April 3, 2022

Seven point two hundred

Committed on March 27, 2022

The twentieth best day of my life

Easily understood on March 20, 2022

A hilarious pair of ducks

Redpilled on March 13, 2022

An arduous, odorous, ordurous affair

Cannibalized on February 27, 2022

Interwoven threads of witless boobery

Spiked on February 20, 2022

Three-eyed gnomes, a lighthouse, and a pair of feet

Erred on February 13, 2022

Carpathian Carpentry Gnomes? In my kitchen?

Hammered on February 6, 2022

The door slammed in my face

Slammed on January 30, 2022

Hard avocados and soft stones

Ripened on January 23, 2022

Confound delivery

Starched on January 16, 2022

Nothing happened

Obliviated on January 9, 2022

New years and new neighbors

Bunted on January 2, 2022

Collecting the caps from every bottle of light cream

Collected before December 26, 2021

Vigorously shaking every Solanum dulcamara

Vigorously shook before December 19, 2021

Vigorously shaking every ficus tree

Shook before December 12, 2021

Shouting at every houseplant

Shouted at before December 5, 2021

An adventure in Dingleberry–Dumpsterism

Dumped and stirred on November 28, 2021

The Dingleberry–Hampsterist–Schmarnocks war

Embattled on November 21, 2021

An out-of-place trashcan

Recycled on November 14, 2021

To muffle up a gooſe

Muffled up on October 31, 2021

A Sefernday to ſurely remember

Obſerved on October 24, 2021

Plantago delenda est

Planted on October 17, 2021

A lesson in poor metrication

Found wanting on October 10, 2021

Dugong, budong, hotdog, and hoe

Frowned at on October 3, 2021

Wearing orange after Labor Day

Fluoresced on September 5, 2021

And then I’ll fart one more time, and…

Intruded upon August 29, 2021

To not be a six-foot-tall man–squirrel

Squeeorled on August 15, 2021

Today I was being a…

Squirreled on August 8, 2021

Not a typewriter

Tabulated on July 25, 2021

Fish upon the land

Phished on July 18, 2021

My arm just follows them

Detached on July 11, 2021

An Independence Day to remember

In the pants on July 4, 2021

To narfle the gömböc

Balanced on June 27, 2021

Another day, another pig war

Splined on June 20, 2021

José Vargas de las Joyas Matemáticas

Divided by zero on June 13, 2021

An infinite pie

Unbounded on June 6, 2021

Great Dane or greatest Dane?

Deigned on May 23, 2021

A dire problem of diphthongs and diacritics

Ired on May 16, 2021

The Hanes–Heinz problem

Caught up on May 2, 2021

Something breakfasty and sausage-like

Baconated on April 25, 2021

A costly, costive dilemma

Clystered on April 4, 2021

Toiling away smoilishly

Toiled away on March 14, 2021

This coming Friday…

Prognosticated after December 16, 2012

Mooey, mooey, moo!

Lowed at on December 9, 2012

Horses, drugs, and some Volvos

Revolved around December 2, 2012

A parable that should explain everything

Enchanted on November 18, 2012

The geese were angry

Angered before November 4, 2012

Ziti—with lines, please

Lollygagged on October 28, 2012

The nauga war

Tanned on October 14, 2012

Meals and utensils and straws, oh my!

Bluely rinsed on October 7, 2012

Livin’ large in the large intestine

Emboweled on September 23, 2012

My competitive worm charming days

Vermiculated on August 26, 2012

The turtle herds of insomnia

NōDōz’d on August 12, 2012

Upon the Fimbriated Planet

Flabbled about on August 5, 2012

And the neckties writhed

Spiraled around July 29, 2012

The ÅSS Goose from the Machine

Bageled on July 22, 2012

Planet of the geese

Honked at on July 15, 2012

A hortensical Sefernday

Hortensed on July 1, 2012

I am the humperdumperdink!

Dumped and dinked on June 10, 2012

My skin was thinking

Considered for June 3, 2012

The green apple bee-bop

Hydrated on May 20, 2012

Hoarsely the Pnårp sang

Horsed around on May 13, 2012

Vox clamantis in deserto

Cheddared on May 6, 2012

The death of Argo Navis

Trisected before April 29, 2012

Gurning for two

Faces made before April 8, 2012

Surviving April Fools Day

Foxholed on April 1, 2012

To order a coffee

Caffeinated on March 25, 2012

Toad rental—cheap!

Rented on March 18, 2012

I was dead

Expired around February 26, 2012

Thoughts diverging from reality

Converging on January 29, 2012

Thoughts converging toward reality

Diverging from January 22, 2012

And then the cold cuts danced

Ronpauled on January 15, 2012

This entry is missing!

Misplaced before January 8, 2012

A journey to upper Silesia

Gruelled on December 18, 2011

A sally to the Kremlin

Red squared on December 11, 2011

A jaunt to Washington, D.C.

Filibustered on December 4, 2011

Goatburping and speechifying

Blustered about before November 20, 2011

Grunting and squeaking in the goatburping park

Soil sampled on November 13, 2011

Fimbriated armless and legless

Charged on October 30, 2011

A snootful of donuts

Imbibed before October 2, 2011

Gnomes? In my photocopier?

Litigated before September 18, 2011

Ten years

Hijacked on September 11, 2011

The toadskin kazoo

Toads skinned on September 4, 2011

Uneventful, boring, and bland

Nothing happened on August 28, 2011

The end of doodlewhacker pie

Bloomed on June 26, 2011

Moobly Sefernday!

Borndwiddied on June 19, 2011

What the heck… is bothering me?

Chanted on June 12, 2011

Potted meat

Unpotted on June 5, 2011

The tight, grimacing face

Impacted before April 17, 2011

Sigmund Freud would be proud

Electrified on April 3, 2011

Cool beans

Beaned on March 27, 2011

Pnårp.com!

Crossing Pnårp Road on March 13, 2011

The hobnailery on Hobgoblin Street

Borfnagled on March 6, 2011

A dark and stormy night

Stormdrained on February 6, 2011

Requiem for a triangular briefcase

Immured on January 30, 2011

In feckless search of a new body

Transplanted before January 23, 2011

The Christ-O-Mart on Crunkner Boulevard

Transubstantiated before January 16, 2011

Dr. Unterguggenburgerheimer!

Diagnosed on January 9, 2011

Fluffernutter… or treacle?

Stickied on January 2, 2011

An alabasterously magnificent find

Found before December 5, 2010

Mr. Årp goes to city hall

Carpetbagged on November 14, 2010

The frozen Pnårp

Last thing I remembered on October 24, 2010

Harshbarger Memorial Hospital

Discharged on October 17, 2010

Ollanthorpe Memorial Hospital

Atrophied before October 10, 2010

Phbthphbthphbthphbththth!

Flatulated on October 3, 2010

An offer he couldn’t refuse

Unmitigated on September 26, 2010

Parndiddle McForsterbaster

Pinned up on September 5, 2010

The disastrous ballad of Monica Lewinski’s feet

Shattered before August 15, 2010

Two stumblebums for Phillip Norbert Årp

Stumbled around on August 8, 2010

Gnomes destroying my brain and kidneys

Urinated on on July 18, 2010

Psycho Chicken With Fingers On Top!

Squawked upon prior to June 13, 2010

Joyful Sefernday, everyone!

Envisaged on June 6, 2010

A little pedicatio

Irrumated on May 16, 2010

Thousands of Eggmen against one little Pnårp

Destalinized on May 2, 2010

I had eggs today!

Oviposited on April 18, 2010

The fnord plan

Executed before April 11, 2010

Dingleberry champion hamster

Plotted against on March 21, 2010

A Hilarius pair of ducks

Guffawed at after March 14, 2010

Stay spooned for more!

Spooned on August 10, 2008

Through the tunnel

Crossed over on July 27, 2008

Crossing the hatches

Pasteurized for June 22, 2008

Glick Glick van der Glick again!

Cocked and blocked on June 15, 2008

Requiem for a haberdasher

Eulogized on June 8, 2008

eBGIQ7ZuuiU or bust

Gassed up on May 18, 2008

Alyssa Milano & the new adventures of Hitler

Snickerdickered on March 30, 2008

Not so dead again

Recomposed right before March 2, 2008

A whiz and a giggle

Whizgiggled at on February 3, 2008

Today is January 27

Prevaricated on January 27, 2008

Gnomes? In my kettles?

Nonsensed at January 20, 2008

Lo’ Kweeisha

Pornographed on January 13, 2008

Bubble wrap and bubble butts

Thawed on January 6, 2008

Pnårp’s in space

Station-kept on September 30, 2007

Why do the stars scream?

Screamed about on September 16, 2007

Paisley time

Enslaved on June 17, 2007

Back to Harry’s

Ingratiated on June 10, 2007

Ol’ Grummie’s back!

Bungled up on June 3, 2007

No one expects the Schmalkaldic League

Vanquished on February 25, 2007

Shekels at the cat-canning plant

Devoted on February 11, 2007

Alyssa Milano lives!

Jury-rigged on February 4, 2007

Alyssa Milano v. Phillip Norbert Årp

Entrenched under January 28, 2007

Suing Alyssa Milano

Bombarded after January 14, 2007

Music erupted from my bed cushions again

Strafed on January 7, 2007

The Spend-O-Mart on Crunkner Boulevard

Drenched in sweat on December 17, 2006

Ollanthorpe Savings Bank

Puréed on October 1, 2006

New Gardegnomia

Navigated to on July 30, 2006

Captain Pinnfarb explains it all

Positioned left of June 18, 2006

The wall gong exhibition

Molested on June 11, 2006

The perfect symmetry of a letter

Excreted slightly before December 18, 2005

The return of the garden gnomes

Star-spangled high above September 25, 2005

Music erupted from my bed cushions

Cosigned on April 24, 2005

I forgot about Hitler

Plundered shortly after October 3, 1999