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Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

Entries mentioning television

A veritable trash dump of words

Whipped on September 18, 2022

“If” is the middle word in “life”

Horrified on September 11, 2022

History looked at me this week

Transported on September 4, 2022

Pinguid penguins, disparate parrots, and a Studebaker

Basted on August 28, 2022

On any given day

Plotted and schemed on August 21, 2022

Up to my ass in alligators

Endangered on August 7, 2022

Squirrels, squeeorling, syrup of squill, and squee

Cocked up on July 24, 2022

Gnocco after gnocco

Knocked on on July 10, 2022

Batting the package

Semiquavered on May 15, 2022

Whittling the knittery

Quavered on May 8, 2022

Flogging the dinosaur

Flailed around on May 1, 2022

An exaggeratedly long week

Galloped about on April 17, 2022

A wanted carton of wontons

Trotted out on April 10, 2022

A curious nine-day week

Dialed on April 3, 2022

Seven point two hundred

Committed on March 27, 2022

The twentieth best day of my life

Easily understood on March 20, 2022

A hilarious pair of ducks

Redpilled on March 13, 2022

The stars screamed at me, but why?

Shredded on March 6, 2022

The door slammed in my face

Slammed on January 30, 2022

Hard avocados and soft stones

Ripened on January 23, 2022

Collecting the caps from every bottle of light cream

Collected before December 26, 2021

Vigorously shaking every Solanum dulcamara

Vigorously shook before December 19, 2021

Vigorously shaking every ficus tree

Shook before December 12, 2021

Shouting at every houseplant

Shouted at before December 5, 2021

The Dingleberry–Hampsterist–Schmarnocks war

Embattled on November 21, 2021

An out-of-place trashcan

Recycled on November 14, 2021

A Halloween to surely forget

Spooked before November 7, 2021

To muffle up a gooſe

Muffled up on October 31, 2021

A lesson in poor metrication

Found wanting on October 10, 2021

Dugong, budong, hotdog, and hoe

Frowned at on October 3, 2021

Losing weight at the lost-and-found

Bonked on September 19, 2021

The pink, sticky day ended

Chaptered and versed on September 12, 2021

And then I’ll fart one more time, and…

Intruded upon August 29, 2021

To not be a six-foot-tall man–squirrel

Squeeorled on August 15, 2021

An Independence Day to remember

In the pants on July 4, 2021

To narfle the gömböc

Balanced on June 27, 2021

Another day, another pig war

Splined on June 20, 2021

Great Dane or greatest Dane?

Deigned on May 23, 2021

Keeping those goats down in the hole

Bored on April 18, 2021

From Commodus to Vespasian—

Detruded on April 11, 2021

A costly, costive dilemma

Clystered on April 4, 2021

An arpeggio for Snarpegon

Spatchcocked on March 28, 2021

Toiling away smoilishly

Toiled away on March 14, 2021

This coming Friday…

Prognosticated after December 16, 2012

Mooey, mooey, moo!

Lowed at on December 9, 2012

A parable that should explain everything

Enchanted on November 18, 2012

Ungabungabugandabunga!

Land-locked on November 11, 2012

The geese were angry

Angered before November 4, 2012

Ziti—with lines, please

Lollygagged on October 28, 2012

The nauga war

Tanned on October 14, 2012

Meals and utensils and straws, oh my!

Bluely rinsed on October 7, 2012

In my own back yard

Extirpated on September 30, 2012

Livin’ large in the large intestine

Emboweled on September 23, 2012

Illin’ in the ileum

Chillin’ on September 16, 2012

A sojourn through the jejunum

Catabolized on September 9, 2012

The September that wouldn’t be

Elided on September 2, 2012

My competitive worm charming days

Vermiculated on August 26, 2012

The turtle herds of insomnia

NōDōz’d on August 12, 2012

Upon the Fimbriated Planet

Flabbled about on August 5, 2012

And the neckties writhed

Spiraled around July 29, 2012

The ÅSS Goose from the Machine

Bageled on July 22, 2012

Planet of the geese

Honked at on July 15, 2012

A hortensical Sefernday

Hortensed on July 1, 2012

Fungous hitchhikers from outer space

Rocketed on June 24, 2012

The Bagel Nebula, you stinky monkeys!

Humped and dumped on June 17, 2012

My skin was thinking

Considered for June 3, 2012

My neighbor—he’s on fire

Detonated on May 27, 2012

The green apple bee-bop

Hydrated on May 20, 2012

Hoarsely the Pnårp sang

Horsed around on May 13, 2012

The death of Argo Navis

Trisected before April 29, 2012

A box! A box! A box of…

Puttered about on April 15, 2012

Gurning for two

Faces made before April 8, 2012

Surviving April Fools Day

Foxholed on April 1, 2012

I was dead

Expired around February 26, 2012

Axons across beard-seconds of darkness

Stretched out February 19, 2012

A Ho-Mg-Zn icosahedral quasicrystal

Fractured on February 12, 2012

Thoughts diverging from reality

Converging on January 29, 2012

Thoughts converging toward reality

Diverging from January 22, 2012

Dreams in a hole in the ground

Trespassed before January 1, 2012

A sleigh ride to the North Pole

Kringled on December 25, 2011

A sally to the Kremlin

Red squared on December 11, 2011

A jaunt to Washington, D.C.

Filibustered on December 4, 2011

A trip to southern Moravia

Plunged off a cliff on November 27, 2011

Goatburping and speechifying

Blustered about before November 20, 2011

Squee! Squee! Squee!

Snoozed on October 9, 2011

A snootful of donuts

Imbibed before October 2, 2011

A paean to panic

Glibbered about on September 25, 2011

Uneventful, boring, and bland

Nothing happened on August 28, 2011

The harooloos grew closer

Repositioned on July 17, 2011

Impossibly shaped bowls

Whiled away before July 10, 2011

Just so he could moo at someone

Percolated on July 3, 2011

The end of doodlewhacker pie

Bloomed on June 26, 2011

Moobly Sefernday!

Borndwiddied on June 19, 2011

What the heck… is bothering me?

Chanted on June 12, 2011

Potted meat

Unpotted on June 5, 2011

Today being Mamårp’s day

Smothered on May 8, 2011

Hnnnngggghhhh!

Strained on May 1, 2011

Dyssynergic defecation

Splashed down on April 24, 2011

The tight, grimacing face

Impacted before April 17, 2011

Plårp and I did our best

Potted on April 10, 2011

Sigmund Freud would be proud

Electrified on April 3, 2011

Cool beans

Beaned on March 27, 2011

Rotating in place

Caligulated on March 20, 2011

Pnårp.com!

Crossing Pnårp Road on March 13, 2011

The hobnailery on Hobgoblin Street

Borfnagled on March 6, 2011

A dark and Strommy night

Thurmonned on February 27, 2011

A dark and spammy night

LARTed on February 20, 2011

A dark and smarmy night

Self-satisfied on February 13, 2011

A dark and stormy night

Stormdrained on February 6, 2011

Requiem for a triangular briefcase

Immured on January 30, 2011

In feckless search of a new body

Transplanted before January 23, 2011

The Christ-O-Mart on Crunkner Boulevard

Transubstantiated before January 16, 2011

Dr. Unterguggenburgerheimer!

Diagnosed on January 9, 2011

Fluffernutter… or treacle?

Stickied on January 2, 2011

A vainglorious, hooting, tooting Christmas

Clamored about on December 26, 2010

Happy birthday, Alyssa Milano!

Feet worshipped on December 19, 2010

Back to Pam & Meg’s

Goatmulched on December 12, 2010

An alabasterously magnificent find

Found before December 5, 2010

375 gorillas and some flower pots

Dumbstruck on November 28, 2010

Ravna and a tub of port wine cheese spread

Slathered all over on November 21, 2010

The frozen Pnårp

Last thing I remembered on October 24, 2010

Ollanthorpe Memorial Hospital

Atrophied before October 10, 2010

An offer he couldn’t refuse

Unmitigated on September 26, 2010

Insidious flobcumber pie

Perchanced upon on September 19, 2010

Skipping Wednesday

Slid past on September 12, 2010

Tater-totting crunkfire

Clapped on… clapped off on August 22, 2010

The disastrous ballad of Monica Lewinski’s feet

Shattered before August 15, 2010

Two stumblebums for Phillip Norbert Årp

Stumbled around on August 8, 2010

Ah, the first of August!

Firstly on August 1, 2010

Gnomes destroying my brain and kidneys

Urinated on on July 18, 2010

Technicolor horse testicles

Nuked on June 27, 2010

PNARP.SYS is an evil, vile thing

Disinfected on June 20, 2010

Psycho Chicken With Fingers On Top!

Squawked upon prior to June 13, 2010

Joyful Sefernday, everyone!

Envisaged on June 6, 2010

Oh, the serendipity!

Squelched through on May 30, 2010

I had eggs today!

Oviposited on April 18, 2010

A plan is hatched

Hatched right before April 4, 2010

Ham by the brick

Mechanically extracted on March 28, 2010

Dingleberry champion hamster

Plotted against on March 21, 2010

A Hilarius pair of ducks

Guffawed at after March 14, 2010

Return from the Brundlebeyond

Disgorged on March 7, 2010

Kudzu and Miss Hewitt

Integrated on July 13, 2008

Crossing the hatches

Pasteurized for June 22, 2008

Requiem for a haberdasher

Eulogized on June 8, 2008

Short and sweet!

Sweetened on April 27, 2008

A whole pile of flapdoodles from Shitlingthorpe

Recollected on February 17, 2008

Today is January 27

Prevaricated on January 27, 2008

Why does the pi float?

Floated by on September 23, 2007

Dugongs abound in my ear canals!

Tiled over on August 19, 2007

Suing Alyssa Milano

Bombarded after January 14, 2007

Fort Flabberwocky was a myth!

Auld acquaintances forgotten on December 31, 2006

The Great Fluffernutter Deluge of ’58

Whored out on December 10, 2006

New Gardegnomia

Navigated to on July 30, 2006

A disastrous pie-eating contest

Drawn and quartered on July 16, 2006

The haberdashery, act IV

Wanted on March 26, 2006

Fight the future

Hidden under my bed on October 10, 1999

A brass knob had fallen on my head

Belched out on September 26, 1999

Someone accused me of screwing a pheasant

Remixed before September 12, 1999

The spiders began to sing and chant

Refracted after June 6, 1999

Dangerous evidence kept cropping up

Regurgitated prior to May 16, 1999