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Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

Entries mentioning insects

“If” is the middle word in “life”

Horrified on September 11, 2022

History looked at me this week

Transported on September 4, 2022

Pinguid penguins, disparate parrots, and a Studebaker

Basted on August 28, 2022

On any given day

Plotted and schemed on August 21, 2022

Squirrels, squeeorling, syrup of squill, and squee

Cocked up on July 24, 2022

Gnocco after gnocco

Knocked on on July 10, 2022

A stack of dictionaries, a goat, and the ensuing manure

Stacked high on June 26, 2022

Wernicke, Broca, and a two-week, drug-fueled bender

Refueled on June 19, 2022

Fleas, flies, and friars!

Peddled on June 12, 2022

An exaggeratedly long week

Galloped about on April 17, 2022

A curious nine-day week

Dialed on April 3, 2022

Seven point two hundred

Committed on March 27, 2022

The twentieth best day of my life

Easily understood on March 20, 2022

The stars screamed at me, but why?

Shredded on March 6, 2022

Carpathian Carpentry Gnomes? In my kitchen?

Hammered on February 6, 2022

The door slammed in my face

Slammed on January 30, 2022

Hard avocados and soft stones

Ripened on January 23, 2022

Vigorously shaking every Solanum dulcamara

Vigorously shook before December 19, 2021

Vigorously shaking every ficus tree

Shook before December 12, 2021

Shouting at every houseplant

Shouted at before December 5, 2021

The Dingleberry–Hampsterist–Schmarnocks war

Embattled on November 21, 2021

An out-of-place trashcan

Recycled on November 14, 2021

To muffle up a gooſe

Muffled up on October 31, 2021

Dugong, budong, hotdog, and hoe

Frowned at on October 3, 2021

The pink, sticky day ended

Chaptered and versed on September 12, 2021

And then I’ll fart one more time, and…

Intruded upon August 29, 2021

And I still couldn’t find my comb

Nosedove before August 22, 2021

To not be a six-foot-tall man–squirrel

Squeeorled on August 15, 2021

Time to draw the bull

Ejaculated on August 1, 2021

Not a typewriter

Tabulated on July 25, 2021

Fish upon the land

Phished on July 18, 2021

An Independence Day to remember

In the pants on July 4, 2021

To narfle the gömböc

Balanced on June 27, 2021

Another day, another pig war

Splined on June 20, 2021

José Vargas de las Joyas Matemáticas

Divided by zero on June 13, 2021

An infinite pie

Unbounded on June 6, 2021

Too many Sundays

Quintupled on May 30, 2021

Great Dane or greatest Dane?

Deigned on May 23, 2021

A dire problem of diphthongs and diacritics

Ired on May 16, 2021

The Hanes–Heinz problem

Caught up on May 2, 2021

Keeping those goats down in the hole

Bored on April 18, 2021

From Commodus to Vespasian—

Detruded on April 11, 2021

An arpeggio for Snarpegon

Spatchcocked on March 28, 2021

Toiling away smoilishly

Toiled away on March 14, 2021

Christmas, goats, and the fiscal cliff

Goat got on December 30, 2012

Mooey, mooey, moo!

Lowed at on December 9, 2012

Horses, drugs, and some Volvos

Revolved around December 2, 2012

A paean to funnels

Funneled on November 25, 2012

A parable that should explain everything

Enchanted on November 18, 2012

Ungabungabugandabunga!

Land-locked on November 11, 2012

The nauga war

Tanned on October 14, 2012

Meals and utensils and straws, oh my!

Bluely rinsed on October 7, 2012

In my own back yard

Extirpated on September 30, 2012

Livin’ large in the large intestine

Emboweled on September 23, 2012

A sojourn through the jejunum

Catabolized on September 9, 2012

My competitive worm charming days

Vermiculated on August 26, 2012

The ÅSS Goose from the Machine

Bageled on July 22, 2012

Planet of the geese

Honked at on July 15, 2012

A hortensical Sefernday

Hortensed on July 1, 2012

Fungous hitchhikers from outer space

Rocketed on June 24, 2012

I am the humperdumperdink!

Dumped and dinked on June 10, 2012

My neighbor—he’s on fire

Detonated on May 27, 2012

The green apple bee-bop

Hydrated on May 20, 2012

Hoarsely the Pnårp sang

Horsed around on May 13, 2012

Surviving April Fools Day

Foxholed on April 1, 2012

To order a coffee

Caffeinated on March 25, 2012

I was dead

Expired around February 26, 2012

Seven point one hundred

Released on February 5, 2012

Thoughts diverging from reality

Converging on January 29, 2012

Thoughts converging toward reality

Diverging from January 22, 2012

And then the cold cuts danced

Ronpauled on January 15, 2012

This entry is missing!

Misplaced before January 8, 2012

Dreams in a hole in the ground

Trespassed before January 1, 2012

A journey to upper Silesia

Gruelled on December 18, 2011

A sally to the Kremlin

Red squared on December 11, 2011

A jaunt to Washington, D.C.

Filibustered on December 4, 2011

A trip to southern Moravia

Plunged off a cliff on November 27, 2011

Goatburping and speechifying

Blustered about before November 20, 2011

Grunting and squeaking in the goatburping park

Soil sampled on November 13, 2011

Fimbriated armless and legless

Charged on October 30, 2011

A snootful of donuts

Imbibed before October 2, 2011

A paean to panic

Glibbered about on September 25, 2011

Gnomes? In my photocopier?

Litigated before September 18, 2011

Ten years

Hijacked on September 11, 2011

The toadskin kazoo

Toads skinned on September 4, 2011

The day ended

Gibbered about on August 7, 2011

Just shaving the dog

Preened on July 31, 2011

Just so he could moo at someone

Percolated on July 3, 2011

The end of doodlewhacker pie

Bloomed on June 26, 2011

Moobly Sefernday!

Borndwiddied on June 19, 2011

What the heck… is bothering me?

Chanted on June 12, 2011

Potted meat

Unpotted on June 5, 2011

Incipits being rather popish

Lubricated on May 22, 2011

Today being Mamårp’s day

Smothered on May 8, 2011

The tight, grimacing face

Impacted before April 17, 2011

Plårp and I did our best

Potted on April 10, 2011

Cool beans

Beaned on March 27, 2011

Rotating in place

Caligulated on March 20, 2011

A dark and spammy night

LARTed on February 20, 2011

In feckless search of a new body

Transplanted before January 23, 2011

The Christ-O-Mart on Crunkner Boulevard

Transubstantiated before January 16, 2011

Dr. Unterguggenburgerheimer!

Diagnosed on January 9, 2011

Back to Pam & Meg’s

Goatmulched on December 12, 2010

A crater full of Volvos

Hidden in ice for centuries on October 31, 2010

Ollanthorpe Memorial Hospital

Atrophied before October 10, 2010

An offer he couldn’t refuse

Unmitigated on September 26, 2010

Parndiddle McForsterbaster

Pinned up on September 5, 2010

Two stumblebums for Phillip Norbert Årp

Stumbled around on August 8, 2010

Poesies and toesies indeed!

Tentacle-raped on July 25, 2010

Gnomes destroying my brain and kidneys

Urinated on on July 18, 2010

Boom! Boom, boom, boom!

Orbited on July 11, 2010

Noshing on my favorite keyboard

Fluttered on July 4, 2010

Joyful Sefernday, everyone!

Envisaged on June 6, 2010

The Brundlesphere

Entangled on July 20, 2008

Crossing the hatches

Pasteurized for June 22, 2008

Alyssa Milano & the new adventures of Hitler

Snickerdickered on March 30, 2008

Today is January 27

Prevaricated on January 27, 2008

Gnomes? In my kettles?

Nonsensed at January 20, 2008

Aaaahhhh!!

Whiffled on November 25, 2007

The one true goddess!

Duffeled on November 18, 2007

Snuffle off to Buffalo

Sniffled at on November 4, 2007

Strahazazhia smiles upon me

Gone wrong on October 28, 2007

The deep blue face of failure

Done wrong on October 21, 2007

Pnårp’s in space

Station-kept on September 30, 2007

Under Pam & Meg’s

Delved under on September 9, 2007

Press any key

Pressed on June 24, 2007

Toe-visages on the Sefernday

Splayed on April 29, 2007

The laws of Phillip I

Promulgated on March 25, 2007

The restive provinces conquered

Excoriated before March 18, 2007

131,072 Schmongeloid conscripts

Decimated on March 4, 2007

Shekels at the cat-canning plant

Devoted on February 11, 2007

Alyssa Milano lives!

Jury-rigged on February 4, 2007

Alyssa Milano v. Phillip Norbert Årp

Entrenched under January 28, 2007

Fort Flabberwocky was a myth!

Auld acquaintances forgotten on December 31, 2006

Bloviating and brachiating

Wrenched away from me on December 3, 2006

Loquisha, you hornswoggler!

Added to taste on October 29, 2006

Gnomelandia Day

Filleted on October 15, 2006

As kudzu crept up her ankles

Encircled on August 13, 2006

New Gardegnomia

Navigated to on July 30, 2006

I thought this was better!?

Harvested before May 28, 2006

368,000 firecrackers and a butcher shop

Tarpapered over on January 1, 2006

Stewing in my own juices

Brewed on November 13, 2005

I shall visit Eigentoria

Bandied about on October 30, 2005

Umph… plurgh… splat!

Ingratiated on July 17, 2005

My dear brother Grårp!

Crucified for March 13, 2005

100% guaranteed

Bamboozled on February 6, 2005

A brass knob had fallen on my head

Belched out on September 26, 1999

The flying pi returned

Complicated because of July 4, 1999