Subscribe to all of my blatherings right in your wob brewser!Subscribe to my latest blatherings right in your wob brewser! Pnårp in print! Made from 35% recycled toilet paper! Send Pnårp your garrulous praise… or excretory condemnation! The less you tweet? The more you toot! Dreaming widely about my page! Tweet! Tweet! Twat! Livin’ it up… on a living journal! A whole book full of my faces? A whole book full of my faces?
You’re my favorite visitor!

Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

Entries mentioning math

There are no bagels there

Spaced on November 17, 2024

But for me, it was Tuesday

For me it was October 13, 2024

Endless rows of houses

Planned and zoned on August 11, 2024

Musings on vinegar, vigor, and elephant bites

Murderized on August 4, 2024

One moron’s opinion

Opined for May 19, 2024

Nose, the best smelling device

Stunk down on April 28, 2024

So many questions

Trebled on April 21, 2024

There’s a joke in here somewhere

Pedicured on March 17, 2024

My life as a computer

Computed on January 14, 2024

Do better

Retracted on November 26, 2023

A Sefernday to surely forget

Sefernalized on November 19, 2023

Musings on the salad of chicken and eggs

Emulsified on November 5, 2023

An oversized capybara, a staccato cadence

Hobbled on October 22, 2023

Playing a katydid like a fiddle

Diddled on August 6, 2023

Gearless largesse and rageless eelgrass

Snorkeled on June 11, 2023

It doesn’t have to—but I always do

Needn’t on June 4, 2023

Being six feet tall

Fathomed on April 9, 2023

To be a featureless white worm

Gouged out on March 12, 2023

To catch a fly

Lashed on February 26, 2023

The house that Pnårp built

Stacked like cordwood on February 5, 2023

Thinking for myself

Cerebrated on January 22, 2023

Feeling rather non-Euclidean

Knotted on January 8, 2023

Thanksgiving with the McBorbleys

Thanks given on November 27, 2022

Change you can be leaf in

Bogged down on November 13, 2022

“If” is the middle word in “life”

Horrified on September 11, 2022

On any given day

Plotted and schemed on August 21, 2022

Catastrophes—but no anastrophe

Mishappened on August 14, 2022

Two halves of a bagel

Misaligned on July 31, 2022

Gnocco after gnocco

Knocked on on July 10, 2022

A stack of dictionaries, a goat, and the ensuing manure

Stacked high on June 26, 2022

Miscounting the protons

Demisemiquavered on May 22, 2022

Whittling the knittery

Quavered on May 8, 2022

An exaggeratedly long week

Galloped about on April 17, 2022

Seven point two hundred

Committed on March 27, 2022

The twentieth best day of my life

Easily understood on March 20, 2022

A hilarious pair of ducks

Redpilled on March 13, 2022

The stars screamed at me, but why?

Shredded on March 6, 2022

Interwoven threads of witless boobery

Spiked on February 20, 2022

Three-eyed gnomes, a lighthouse, and a pair of feet

Erred on February 13, 2022

Carpathian Carpentry Gnomes? In my kitchen?

Hammered on February 6, 2022

The door slammed in my face

Slammed on January 30, 2022

Hard avocados and soft stones

Ripened on January 23, 2022

New years and new neighbors

Bunted on January 2, 2022

Vigorously shaking every ficus tree

Shook before December 12, 2021

Shouting at every houseplant

Shouted at before December 5, 2021

A Sefernday to ſurely remember

Obſerved on October 24, 2021

A lesson in poor metrication

Found wanting on October 10, 2021

Dugong, budong, hotdog, and hoe

Frowned at on October 3, 2021

And I still couldn’t find my comb

Nosedove before August 22, 2021

To not be a six-foot-tall man–squirrel

Squeeorled on August 15, 2021

Not a typewriter

Tabulated on July 25, 2021

Fish upon the land

Phished on July 18, 2021

To narfle the gömböc

Balanced on June 27, 2021

José Vargas de las Joyas Matemáticas

Divided by zero on June 13, 2021

An infinite pie

Unbounded on June 6, 2021

Too many Sundays

Quintupled on May 30, 2021

A dire problem of diphthongs and diacritics

Ired on May 16, 2021

Keeping those goats down in the hole

Bored on April 18, 2021

An arpeggio for Snarpegon

Spatchcocked on March 28, 2021

Maybe it was the location

Tripped out on March 21, 2021

A parable that should explain everything

Enchanted on November 18, 2012

Ungabungabugandabunga!

Land-locked on November 11, 2012

The geese were angry

Angered before November 4, 2012

My competitive worm charming days

Vermiculated on August 26, 2012

The turtle herds of insomnia

NōDōz’d on August 12, 2012

Upon the Fimbriated Planet

Flabbled about on August 5, 2012

And the neckties writhed

Spiraled around July 29, 2012

The ÅSS Goose from the Machine

Bageled on July 22, 2012

Planet of the geese

Honked at on July 15, 2012

Fungous hitchhikers from outer space

Rocketed on June 24, 2012

The Bagel Nebula, you stinky monkeys!

Humped and dumped on June 17, 2012

I am the humperdumperdink!

Dumped and dinked on June 10, 2012

My skin was thinking

Considered for June 3, 2012

The green apple bee-bop

Hydrated on May 20, 2012

The death of Argo Navis

Trisected before April 29, 2012

Gurning for two

Faces made before April 8, 2012

To order a coffee

Caffeinated on March 25, 2012

Axons across beard-seconds of darkness

Stretched out February 19, 2012

A Ho-Mg-Zn icosahedral quasicrystal

Fractured on February 12, 2012

Seven point one hundred

Released on February 5, 2012

Thoughts diverging from reality

Converging on January 29, 2012

Thoughts converging toward reality

Diverging from January 22, 2012

And then the cold cuts danced

Ronpauled on January 15, 2012

A journey to Upper Silesia

Gruelled on December 18, 2011

A sally to the Kremlin

Red squared on December 11, 2011

A jaunt to Washington, D.C.

Filibustered on December 4, 2011

A trip to southern Moravia

Plunged off a cliff on November 27, 2011

Goatburping and speechifying

Blustered about before November 20, 2011

Grunting and squeaking in the goatburping park

Soil sampled on November 13, 2011

Like a herd of turtles

Frightened on November 6, 2011

A snootful of donuts

Imbibed before October 2, 2011

The toadskin kazoo

Toads skinned on September 4, 2011

A skeezle-wumpus? In my cabinets?

Marred on August 14, 2011

The day ended

Gibbered about on August 7, 2011

Just shaving the dog

Preened on July 31, 2011

Disgorgement and cheddar

Squassated on July 24, 2011

The harooloos grew closer

Repositioned on July 17, 2011

Impossibly shaped bowls

Whiled away before July 10, 2011

The end of doodlewhacker pie

Bloomed on June 26, 2011

Moobly Sefernday!

Borndwiddied on June 19, 2011

What the heck… is bothering me?

Chanted on June 12, 2011

Potted meat

Unpotted on June 5, 2011

Today being Mamårp’s day

Smothered on May 8, 2011

Hnnnngggghhhh!

Strained on May 1, 2011

The tight, grimacing face

Impacted before April 17, 2011

Plårp and I did our best

Potted on April 10, 2011

Sigmund Freud would be proud

Electrified on April 3, 2011

A dark and spammy night

LARTed on February 20, 2011

A dark and smarmy night

Self-satisfied on February 13, 2011

Requiem for a triangular briefcase

Immured on January 30, 2011

Dr. Unterguggenburgerheimer!

Diagnosed on January 9, 2011

Fluffernutter… or treacle?

Stickied on January 2, 2011

A vainglorious, hooting, tooting Christmas

Clamored about on December 26, 2010

Happy birthday, Alyssa Milano!

Feet worshipped on December 19, 2010

Back to Pam & Meg’s

Goatmulched on December 12, 2010

An alabasterously magnificent find

Found before December 5, 2010

Mr. Årp goes to city hall

Carpetbagged on November 14, 2010

The frozen Pnårp

Last thing I remembered on October 24, 2010

Harshbarger Memorial Hospital

Discharged on October 17, 2010

Ollanthorpe Memorial Hospital

Atrophied before October 10, 2010

Insidious flobcumber pie

Perchanced upon on September 19, 2010

Parndiddle McForsterbaster

Pinned up on September 5, 2010

Gnomes destroying my brain and kidneys

Urinated on on July 18, 2010

Technicolor horse testicles

Nuked on June 27, 2010

Joyful Sefernday, everyone!

Envisaged on June 6, 2010

Ham by the brick

Mechanically extracted on March 28, 2010

A Hilarius pair of ducks

Guffawed at after March 14, 2010

Into the Brundlesphere

Descended upon on August 3, 2008

Requiem for a haberdasher

Eulogized on June 8, 2008

A whiz and a giggle

Whizgiggled at on February 3, 2008

Today is January 27

Punched on January 27, 2008

Lo’ Kweeisha

Pornographed on January 13, 2008

Bubble wrap and bubble butts

Thawed on January 6, 2008

Free at last

Self-addressed and stamped on December 2, 2007

The one true goddess!

Duffeled on November 18, 2007

There’s nothing in my head!

Scuffled with on November 11, 2007

Snuffle off to Buffalo

Sniffled at on November 4, 2007

Strahazazhia smiles upon me

Gone wrong on October 28, 2007

The deep blue face of failure

Done wrong on October 21, 2007

Graceful as Loquisha’s soles

Danced with on October 14, 2007

This is Phillip Norbert Årp’s spaceship

Diseased prior to October 7, 2007

Pnårp’s in space

Station-kept on September 30, 2007

Why does the pi float?

Floated by on September 23, 2007

Under Pam & Meg’s

Delved under on September 9, 2007

Grumfeld redux

Simmered on September 2, 2007

3,600 eigenserfs and a function key

Indentured forever after July 8, 2007

The missing fourteenth key

Lost before July 1, 2007

Press any key

Pressed on June 24, 2007

Paisley time

Enslaved on June 17, 2007

Ol’ Grummie’s back!

Bungled up on June 3, 2007

No one expects the Schmalkaldic League

Vanquished on February 25, 2007

Alyssa Milano v. Phillip Norbert Årp

Entrenched under January 28, 2007

Suing Alyssa Milano

Bombarded after January 14, 2007

Fort Flabberwocky was a myth!

Auld acquaintances forgotten on December 31, 2006

Bloviating and brachiating

Wrenched away from me on December 3, 2006

Jacking off Jill to a squirrel-fox-dingo

Hypothesized on November 5, 2006

Loquisha, you hornswoggler!

Added to taste on October 29, 2006

Gnomelandia Day

Filleted on October 15, 2006

Ollanthorpe Savings Bank

Puréed on October 1, 2006

I remembered a lot this week!

Chopped with a stick on September 24, 2006

Terrorists! Terrorists!!

Sporked with some tongs on September 17, 2006

Attacked by tadpoles!

Stabbed with a fork on September 3, 2006

As kudzu crept up her ankles

Encircled on August 13, 2006

A disastrous pie-eating contest

Drawn and quartered on July 16, 2006

Captain Pinnfarb explains it all

Positioned left of June 18, 2006

The wall gong exhibition

Molested on June 11, 2006

My oatmeal cookies

Surveilled pursuant to May 7, 2006

Pam & Meg’s

Wheeled about on April 23, 2006

The Englebee Troobles live!

Transubstantiated on April 16, 2006

My new neighbor from Georgia

Nazified on April 2, 2006

The haberdashery, act IV

Wanted on March 26, 2006

The haberdashery, act III

Haunted on March 19, 2006

The haberdashery, act II

Flaunted on March 12, 2006

The haberdashery, act I

Taunted on March 5, 2006

I need a new hobby

Telephoned on February 19, 2006

Hobnobbishly bamboozled, she said

Interrupted before February 5, 2006

Thaddeus C.L. Harshbarger, the haberdasher

Belted out on December 4, 2005

My house burned down today

Incinerated on November 20, 2005

Stewing in my own juices

Brewed on November 13, 2005

A visit to Eigentoria

Emigrated on November 6, 2005

I shall visit Eigentoria

Bandied about on October 30, 2005

The thick, meaty center of an eigenfactor

Ridiculed on October 23, 2005

Abortifacient skies, the burning air

Slobbered all over on September 11, 2005

Troobles, long and hard

Deluged on August 7, 2005

Soft, and steaming lightly

Castigated on July 31, 2005

The perspicacious side of the planet

Wienerschnitzeled on July 24, 2005

I slithered blithely out the door

Fetishized on July 3, 2005

A gaggle of garden gnomes

Engulfed on June 26, 2005

What an Englebee Trooble is

Incarcerated on June 12, 2005

Zero-factor linguistics

Laughed about within June 5, 2005

The Magic Oreo Machine™

Played footsie with on May 29, 2005

Eigenfactor

Given to charity prior to May 22, 2005

I saw an iMac, a greenish-blue flavored one

Popularized for April 10, 2005

My dear brother Grårp!

Crucified for March 13, 2005

Samuel Dreckers

Carbonized prior to March 6, 2005

Contemplating the Spice Girls

Best if sold by February 27, 2005

Alyssa Milano still has very cute feet

Reeducated on February 20, 2005

The Troobles exist…

Inoculated on January 30, 2005

Curse inflatable hotdogs

Expurgated on January 23, 2005

Searching forever for the elusive Troobles

Squandered because of October 31, 1999

The stars scream at me louder than ever!!

Suspended from October 24, 1999

A brass knob had fallen on my head

Belched out on September 26, 1999

Someone accused me of screwing a pheasant

Remixed before September 12, 1999

It gets hot in Afghanistani prisons

Given to my daughter on August 29, 1999

The Englebee Troobles

Pondered upon August 8, 1999

Mister Ollanthorpe von Sträsmussenbörg

Encapsulated within July 25, 1999

The flying pi returned

Complicated because of July 4, 1999

The triangular briefcase I had found

Reintegrated on June 13, 1999

I found a scrap of paper in my pocket

Rebutted on May 23, 1999

Semper sic tyrannis

Calculated and compiled on May 2, 1999

Am I lost!? Am I low on oil!?

Hydrogenated for April 11, 1999

The seventeenth best day of my life

Dissipated before March 21, 1999