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Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

Entries mentioning my neighbors

Excrescence and excreta

Unfolded on September 26, 2021

Losing weight at the lost-and-found

Bonked on September 19, 2021

The pink, sticky day ended

Chaptered and versed on September 12, 2021

Wearing orange after Labor Day

Fluoresced on September 5, 2021

And then I’ll fart one more time, and…

Intruded upon August 29, 2021

Today I was being a…

Squirreled on August 8, 2021

Fish upon the land

Phished on July 18, 2021

My arm just follows them

Detached on July 11, 2021

To narfle the gömböc

Balanced on June 27, 2021

Another day, another pig war

Splined on June 20, 2021

Great Dane or greatest Dane?

Deigned on May 23, 2021

200,000 flip-flop–related injuries

Discalceated on May 9, 2021

Keeping those goats down in the hole

Bored on April 18, 2021

From Commodus to Vespasian—

Detruded on April 11, 2021

A costly, costive dilemma

Clystered on April 4, 2021

Christmas, goats, and the fiscal cliff

Goat got on December 30, 2012

Mooey, mooey, moo!

Lowed at on December 9, 2012

Horses, drugs, and some Volvos

Revolved around December 2, 2012

A paean to funnels

Funneled on November 25, 2012

A parable that should explain everything

Enchanted on November 18, 2012

The geese were angry

Angered before November 4, 2012

Ziti—with lines, please

Lollygagged on October 28, 2012

The nauga war

Tanned on October 14, 2012

Meals and utensils and straws, oh my!

Bluely rinsed on October 7, 2012

My competitive worm charming days

Vermiculated on August 26, 2012

The ÅSS Goose from the Machine

Bageled on July 22, 2012

Fungous hitchhikers from outer space

Rocketed on June 24, 2012

My neighbor—he’s on fire

Detonated on May 27, 2012

Vox clamantis in deserto

Cheddared on May 6, 2012

The death of Argo Navis

Trisected before April 29, 2012

A box! A box! A box of…

Puttered about on April 15, 2012

Surviving April Fools Day

Foxholed on April 1, 2012

A Ho-Mg-Zn icosahedral quasicrystal

Fractured on February 12, 2012

Seven point one hundred

Released on February 5, 2012

Thoughts diverging from reality

Converging on January 29, 2012

Thoughts converging toward reality

Diverging from January 22, 2012

This entry is missing!

Misplaced before January 8, 2012

Dreams in a hole in the ground

Trespassed before January 1, 2012

A sleigh ride to the North Pole

Kringled on December 25, 2011

A trip to southern Moravia

Plunged off a cliff on November 27, 2011

Grunting and squeaking in the goatburping park

Soil sampled on November 13, 2011

Like a herd of turtles

Frightened on November 6, 2011

Fimbriated armless and legless

Charged on October 30, 2011

Schtumpfenfrumpt!

Stumped on October 16, 2011

Squee! Squee! Squee!

Snoozed on October 9, 2011

A paean to panic

Glibbered about on September 25, 2011

Ten years

Hijacked on September 11, 2011

Uneventful, boring, and bland

Nothing happened on August 28, 2011

A stick of pepperoni a day

Bordured on August 21, 2011

A skeezle-wumpus? In my cabinets?

Marred on August 14, 2011

The day ended

Gibbered about on August 7, 2011

Just so he could moo at someone

Percolated on July 3, 2011

The end of doodlewhacker pie

Bloomed on June 26, 2011

Moobly Sefernday!

Borndwiddied on June 19, 2011

What the heck… is bothering me?

Chanted on June 12, 2011

Today being Mamårp’s day

Smothered on May 8, 2011

Hnnnngggghhhh!

Strained on May 1, 2011

Plårp and I did our best

Potted on April 10, 2011

Cool beans

Beaned on March 27, 2011

Pnårp.com!

Crossing Pnårp Road on March 13, 2011

A dark and spammy night

LARTed on February 20, 2011

A dark and smarmy night

Self-satisfied on February 13, 2011

A dark and stormy night

Stormdrained on February 6, 2011

Requiem for a triangular briefcase

Immured on January 30, 2011

In feckless search of a new body

Transplanted before January 23, 2011

The Christ-O-Mart on Crunkner Boulevard

Transubstantiated before January 16, 2011

Fluffernutter… or treacle?

Stickied on January 2, 2011

A vainglorious, hooting, tooting Christmas

Clamored about on December 26, 2010

Happy birthday, Alyssa Milano!

Feet worshipped on December 19, 2010

Back to Pam & Meg’s

Goatmulched on December 12, 2010

375 gorillas and some flower pots

Dumbstruck on November 28, 2010

Mr. Årp goes to city hall

Carpetbagged on November 14, 2010

The frozen Pnårp

Last thing I remembered on October 24, 2010

Harshbarger Memorial Hospital

Discharged on October 17, 2010

Ollanthorpe Memorial Hospital

Atrophied before October 10, 2010

Phbthphbthphbthphbththth!

Flatulated on October 3, 2010

An offer he couldn’t refuse

Unmitigated on September 26, 2010

Parndiddle McForsterbaster

Pinned up on September 5, 2010

Tater-totting crunkfire

Clapped on… clapped off on August 22, 2010

Two stumblebums for Phillip Norbert Årp

Stumbled around on August 8, 2010

Gnomes destroying my brain and kidneys

Urinated on on July 18, 2010

Noshing on my favorite keyboard

Fluttered on July 4, 2010

Joyful Sefernday, everyone!

Envisaged on June 6, 2010

Thousands of Eggmen against one little Pnårp

Destalinized on May 2, 2010

The fnord plan

Executed before April 11, 2010

A plan is hatched

Hatched right before April 4, 2010

Dingleberry champion hamster

Plotted against on March 21, 2010

Return from the Brundlebeyond

Disgorged on March 7, 2010

Dog whelks in your arteries

Derived on July 6, 2008

The perfunctory margin of disbelief, part II

Reified on June 29, 2008

Crossing the hatches

Pasteurized for June 22, 2008

eBGIQ7ZuuiU or bust

Gassed up on May 18, 2008

Gra, trained assassin

Unchained after March 23, 2008

Suddenly ablaze

Ignited on March 9, 2008

Not so dead again

Recomposed right before March 2, 2008

Gnomes? In my kettles?

Nonsensed at January 20, 2008

Pnårp’s in space

Station-kept on September 30, 2007

Why do the stars scream?

Screamed about on September 16, 2007

Under Pam & Meg’s

Delved under on September 9, 2007

Indeed I can go home again

Returned home on August 26, 2007

Dugongs abound in my ear canals!

Tiled over on August 19, 2007

Press any key

Pressed on June 24, 2007

Ol’ Grummie’s back!

Bungled up on June 3, 2007

Ravna and a ligature

Magic-marked on May 20, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Last decree

Decreed on April 15, 2007

131,072 Schmongeloid conscripts

Decimated on March 4, 2007

No one expects the Schmalkaldic League

Vanquished on February 25, 2007

Digging up the back yard

Cashed in on February 18, 2007

Shekels at the cat-canning plant

Devoted on February 11, 2007

Suing Alyssa Milano

Bombarded after January 14, 2007

Music erupted from my bed cushions again

Strafed on January 7, 2007

Fort Flabberwocky was a myth!

Auld acquaintances forgotten on December 31, 2006

The Spend-O-Mart on Crunkner Boulevard

Drenched in sweat on December 17, 2006

Bloviating and brachiating

Wrenched away from me on December 3, 2006

Loquisha, you hornswoggler!

Added to taste on October 29, 2006

Mesothelioma in a drainage ditch

Stir-fried for October 22, 2006

I remembered a lot this week!

Chopped with a stick on September 24, 2006

Terrorists! Terrorists!!

Sporked with some tongs on September 17, 2006

This is Phillip Norbert Årp’s ship

Appeased prior to July 2, 2006

The dingleberry/hamster song

Sung for April 30, 2006

My new neighbor from Georgia

Nazified on April 2, 2006

The haberdashery, act II

Flaunted on March 12, 2006

I need a new hobby

Telephoned on February 19, 2006

368,000 firecrackers and a butcher shop

Tarpapered over on January 1, 2006

Today being Christmas…

Made merry on December 25, 2005

Shitlingthorpe–Alabaster Flapdoodles

Zanzibarred on December 11, 2005

Thaddeus C.L. Harshbarger, the haberdasher

Belted out on December 4, 2005

I shall visit Eigentoria

Bandied about on October 30, 2005

The return of Grårp

Cordoned off on September 18, 2005

Abortifacient skies, the burning air

Slobbered all over on September 11, 2005

Spruce mustard and bouillabaisse

Trundled August 28, 2005

Troobles, long and hard

Deluged on August 7, 2005

Soft, and steaming lightly

Castigated on July 31, 2005

Umph… plurgh… splat!

Ingratiated on July 17, 2005

Music erupted from my bed cushions

Cosigned on April 24, 2005

I saw an iMac, a greenish-blue flavored one

Optimized for April 10, 2005

Guhhhh noooobity fahhhh foooogity!!!

Squabbled about on March 20, 2005

My dear brother Grårp!

Crucified for March 13, 2005

Samuel Dreckers

Carbonized prior to March 6, 2005

Contemplating the Spice Girls

Best if sold by February 27, 2005

Alyssa Milano still has very cute feet

Reeducated on February 20, 2005

Searching forever for the elusive Troobles

Squandered because of October 31, 1999

I had failed

Hidden above my bed on October 17, 1999

A brass knob had fallen on my head

Belched out on September 26, 1999

Someone accused me of screwing a pheasant

Remixed before September 12, 1999

Is there an underdog in you?

Nitrated on July 18, 1999

In the ground underneath my house

Drawn up for April 25, 1999

Am I lost!? Am I low on oil!?

Hydrogenated for April 11, 1999