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Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

Entries mentioning feces

So many questions

Trebled on April 21, 2024

The Sun absconded yet I rest assured

Annulated on April 14, 2024

An antelope with a pair of cantaloupes

Hight on April 7, 2024

The stench of failure

Stunk up on March 31, 2024

There’s a joke in here somewhere

Pedicured on March 17, 2024

Pig-headed and ham-fisted

Cleaved on March 3, 2024

Seven point three hundred

Paltered on February 25, 2024

Angry monkey syndrome, a dishdirtier

Illustrated on February 4, 2024

A byte nybbled a word, and then…

Nibbled on December 10, 2023

Do better

Retracted on November 26, 2023

A Sefernday to surely forget

Sefernalized on November 19, 2023

Musings on the salad of chicken and eggs

Emulsified on November 5, 2023

Mulberries, mulbiaries, mubbleducks, and mubbliaries

Trussed up on October 29, 2023

An oversized capybara, a staccato cadence

Hobbled on October 22, 2023

A real nobody

Fettered on October 15, 2023

A week of weekdays and their horrors

Manacled on October 8, 2023

By fish or by Finn

Finished after September 10, 2023

Corn gone bacon and eggs

Consterned on September 3, 2023

Playing a katydid like a fiddle

Diddled on August 6, 2023

Rejecting both Church Latin and the Ciceronian

Conjugated on July 30, 2023

A fresh set of gnome latrines

Spun on July 23, 2023

Omental cakes and tires (or a blunch of underwear)

Portended on July 16, 2023

Dogs that ate backwards

Reversed on June 25, 2023

Gearless largesse and rageless eelgrass

Snorkeled on June 11, 2023

It doesn’t have to—but I always do

Needn’t on June 4, 2023

Crap! Crabapple! Crapapple!

Cursed on May 28, 2023

Crap! Carp! Scrap! Scarp!

Sworn on May 21, 2023

Why fish don’t have feet

Expiscated on May 7, 2023

A monolithic dump

Pumped and dumped on April 30, 2023

Cities of obsidian in the Canadian Shield

Dismantled on March 26, 2023

To be a featureless white worm

Gouged out on March 12, 2023

Landing head-first in March

Made it on March 5, 2023

To catch a fly

Lashed on February 26, 2023

A mystery of hasps and coat hangers

Fastened on January 29, 2023

Feeling rather non-Euclidean

Knotted on January 8, 2023

A real galleyshnogger of a Christmas

Dove in on December 25, 2022

Toppings on the bottom?

Bottomed out on December 18, 2022

Thanksgiving with the McBorbleys

Thanks given on November 27, 2022

With a ploot, ploot, ploot!

Born on November 6, 2022

I wish my spoons were stronger

Snooped on October 23, 2022

History looked at me this week

Transported on September 4, 2022

Pinguid penguins, disparate parrots, and a Studebaker

Basted on August 28, 2022

Catastrophes—but no anastrophe

Mishappened on August 14, 2022

Up to my ass in alligators

Endangered on August 7, 2022

Two halves of a bagel

Misaligned on July 31, 2022

Gnocco after gnocco

Knocked on on July 10, 2022

A stack of dictionaries, a goat, and the ensuing manure

Stacked high on June 26, 2022

Whittling the knittery

Quavered on May 8, 2022

Flogging the dinosaur

Flailed around on May 1, 2022

An exaggeratedly long week

Galloped about on April 17, 2022

A curious nine-day week

Dialed on April 3, 2022

Seven point two hundred

Committed on March 27, 2022

The twentieth best day of my life

Easily understood on March 20, 2022

The stars screamed at me, but why?

Shredded on March 6, 2022

An arduous, odorous, ordurous affair

Cannibalized on February 27, 2022

The door slammed in my face

Slammed on January 30, 2022

Hard avocados and soft stones

Ripened on January 23, 2022

Nothing happened

Obliviated on January 9, 2022

Collecting the caps from every bottle of light cream

Collected before December 26, 2021

Vigorously shaking every Solanum dulcamara

Vigorously shook before December 19, 2021

Vigorously shaking every ficus tree

Shook before December 12, 2021

An out-of-place trashcan

Recycled on November 14, 2021

A Halloween to surely forget

Spooked before November 7, 2021

To muffle up a gooſe

Muffled up on October 31, 2021

Excrescence and excreta

Unfolded on September 26, 2021

Losing weight at the lost-and-found

Bonked on September 19, 2021

To not be a six-foot-tall man–squirrel

Squeeorled on August 15, 2021

Not a typewriter

Tabulated on July 25, 2021

My arm just follows them

Detached on July 11, 2021

Another day, another pig war

Splined on June 20, 2021

José Vargas de las Joyas Matemáticas

Divided by zero on June 13, 2021

Keeping those goats down in the hole

Bored on April 18, 2021

From Commodus to Vespasian—

Detruded on April 11, 2021

A costly, costive dilemma

Clystered on April 4, 2021

An arpeggio for Snarpegon

Spatchcocked on March 28, 2021

Toiling away smoilishly

Toiled away on March 14, 2021

With a bubble and a squeak…

Bubbled and squeaked on March 7, 2021

Christmas, goats, and the fiscal cliff

Goat got on December 30, 2012

This coming Friday…

Prognosticated after December 16, 2012

Mooey, mooey, moo!

Lowed at on December 9, 2012

Horses, drugs, and some Volvos

Revolved around December 2, 2012

A paean to funnels

Funneled on November 25, 2012

A parable that should explain everything

Enchanted on November 18, 2012

Ungabungabugandabunga!

Land-locked on November 11, 2012

The geese were angry

Angered before November 4, 2012

In my own back yard

Extirpated on September 30, 2012

Illin’ in the ileum

Chillin’ on September 16, 2012

The turtle herds of insomnia

NōDōz’d on August 12, 2012

The ÅSS Goose from the Machine

Bageled on July 22, 2012

Planet of the geese

Honked at on July 15, 2012

A hortensical Sefernday

Hortensed on July 1, 2012

Fungous hitchhikers from outer space

Rocketed on June 24, 2012

The Bagel Nebula, you stinky monkeys!

Humped and dumped on June 17, 2012

I am the humperdumperdink!

Dumped and dinked on June 10, 2012

The green apple bee-bop

Hydrated on May 20, 2012

Vox clamantis in deserto

Cheddared on May 6, 2012

The death of Argo Navis

Trisected before April 29, 2012

A box! A box! A box of…

Puttered about on April 15, 2012

Surviving April Fools Day

Foxholed on April 1, 2012

I was dead

Expired around February 26, 2012

Axons across beard-seconds of darkness

Stretched out February 19, 2012

Dreams in a hole in the ground

Trespassed before January 1, 2012

A journey to Upper Silesia

Gruelled on December 18, 2011

A sally to the Kremlin

Red squared on December 11, 2011

A jaunt to Washington, D.C.

Filibustered on December 4, 2011

A trip to southern Moravia

Plunged off a cliff on November 27, 2011

Goatburping and speechifying

Blustered about before November 20, 2011

Grunting and squeaking in the goatburping park

Soil sampled on November 13, 2011

Fimbriated armless and legless

Charged on October 30, 2011

Schtumpfenfrumpt!

Stumped on October 16, 2011

Ten years

Hijacked on September 11, 2011

The toadskin kazoo

Toads skinned on September 4, 2011

Uneventful, boring, and bland

Nothing happened on August 28, 2011

The day ended

Gibbered about on August 7, 2011

Just shaving the dog

Preened on July 31, 2011

Disgorgement and cheddar

Squassated on July 24, 2011

The harooloos grew closer

Repositioned on July 17, 2011

Impossibly shaped bowls

Whiled away before July 10, 2011

Just so he could moo at someone

Percolated on July 3, 2011

Moobly Sefernday!

Borndwiddied on June 19, 2011

Potted meat

Unpotted on June 5, 2011

Incipits being rather popish

Lubricated on May 22, 2011

Reflecting on corn gone wrong

Paroled on May 15, 2011

Hnnnngggghhhh!

Strained on May 1, 2011

Dyssynergic defecation

Splashed down on April 24, 2011

The tight, grimacing face

Impacted before April 17, 2011

Plårp and I did our best

Potted on April 10, 2011

Sigmund Freud would be proud

Electrified on April 3, 2011

Cool beans

Beaned on March 27, 2011

Pnårp.com!

Crossing Pnårp Road on March 13, 2011

A dark and Strommy night

Thurmonned on February 27, 2011

A dark and smarmy night

Self-satisfied on February 13, 2011

Requiem for a triangular briefcase

Immured on January 30, 2011

In feckless search of a new body

Transplanted before January 23, 2011

Dr. Unterguggenburgerheimer!

Diagnosed on January 9, 2011

Happy birthday, Alyssa Milano!

Feet worshipped on December 19, 2010

Back to Pam & Meg’s

Goatmulched on December 12, 2010

375 gorillas and some flower pots

Dumbstruck on November 28, 2010

Mr. Årp goes to city hall

Carpetbagged on November 14, 2010

Ollanthorpe Memorial Hospital

Atrophied before October 10, 2010

Phbthphbthphbthphbththth!

Flatulated on October 3, 2010

Parndiddle McForsterbaster

Pinned up on September 5, 2010

The disastrous ballad of Monica Lewinski’s feet

Shattered before August 15, 2010

Poesies and toesies indeed!

Tentacle-raped on July 25, 2010

Gnomes destroying my brain and kidneys

Urinated on on July 18, 2010

Technicolor horse testicles

Nuked on June 27, 2010

The fnord plan

Executed before April 11, 2010

A plan is hatched

Hatched right before April 4, 2010

A Hilarius pair of ducks

Guffawed at after March 14, 2010

eBGIQ7ZuuiU or bust

Gassed up on May 18, 2008

Suddenly ablaze

Ignited on March 9, 2008

Lo’ Kweeisha

Pornographed on January 13, 2008

This is Phillip Norbert Årp’s spaceship

Diseased prior to October 7, 2007

Why do the stars scream?

Screamed about on September 16, 2007

Grumfeld redux

Simmered on September 2, 2007

Plårp goes home

Sent home on August 5, 2007

Plårp!

Plopped down on July 15, 2007

Paisley time

Enslaved on June 17, 2007

Ol’ Grummie’s back!

Bungled up on June 3, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Last decree

Decreed on April 15, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Homage

Legislated on April 8, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Taxes

Propagated on April 1, 2007

The laws of Phillip I

Promulgated on March 25, 2007

Eight years

Anniversed four days before March 11, 2007

131,072 Schmongeloid conscripts

Decimated on March 4, 2007

Alyssa Milano lives!

Jury-rigged on February 4, 2007

Music erupted from my bed cushions again

Strafed on January 7, 2007

The Great Fluffernutter Deluge of ’58

Whored out on December 10, 2006

Bloviating and brachiating

Wrenched away from me on December 3, 2006

A busjacking by Jack Off Jill?

Theorized about on November 12, 2006

I remembered a lot this week!

Chopped with a stick on September 24, 2006

Terrorists! Terrorists!!

Sporked with some tongs on September 17, 2006

As kudzu crept up her ankles

Encircled on August 13, 2006

Today being Christmas…

Made merry on December 25, 2005

The perfect symmetry of a letter

Excreted slightly before December 18, 2005

Shitlingthorpe–Alabaster Flapdoodles

Zanzibarred on December 11, 2005

The return of the garden gnomes

Star-spangled high above September 25, 2005

Spruce mustard and bouillabaisse

Trundled on August 28, 2005

Troobles, long and hard

Deluged on August 7, 2005

Soft, and steaming lightly

Castigated on July 31, 2005

What an Englebee Trooble is

Incarcerated on June 12, 2005

Into the midst of a gorilla and yak pack

Made in Taiwan, R.O.C., before May 15, 2005

Music erupted from my bed cushions

Cosigned on April 24, 2005

My dear brother Grårp!

Crucified for March 13, 2005

Searching forever for the elusive Troobles

Squandered because of October 31, 1999

Hypoglycemia and digititis have no sway over me

Intubated on May 30, 1999

I found a scrap of paper in my pocket

Rebutted on May 23, 1999

Am I lost!? Am I low on oil!?

Hydrogenated for April 11, 1999

I took the pile of animal feces out of my garage

Electrolyzed for March 14, 1999