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Fight the future

Hidden under my bed on October 10, 1999.

Fight the future. Lycos loves me. It really does, for I know not what I do. Do you own a car that is a certified lemon? Do you want to sell it to me for fifty-thousand yen? I’d much rather have a brochure, or a five-button and two-lever mouse, rather than a car or yen.

Fight the future. Engage it in battle. Wrap a plastic bag around it, laugh at it, and make noises like fangèd zebras (Mlaaaw! mlaaaw!!). Spit on it. Spit at it. Engrave it with a spoon and catheter. Catharsis. Metastasis. I found another singing spider hiding beneath a dust-bunny near my tube of toothpaste, and thus told it to eat a lightbulb, convert to Zoroastrianism, and call me in the morning. I then went to sleep and forgot about everything that ever happened to me.