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A pastry on both your houses!

Made peace with on February 12, 2006.

“A pastry on both your houses, Schmongeling Gnomes of Westphalia! I destroy you all, with a teacup full of Tobasco sauce and a little number I picked up while playing harmonica in a harem twenty-seven years ago!”

That’s what I said to them on Tuesday: I said it, shouted it, squealed it, howled it from my rooftop as loud as I could—and all the Gnomus schmongelendi vanished with a puff of verdant smoke and the sound of small twaddles flickering against stately pleasure domes decreed by Kublai Khan. I am free again, free of gnomes of any stripe and flavor, free to…

…To bask in the warm glow coming from the floodlights in my front lawn?

…To breathe in parsimonious airs while putting on airs and air shows about fallacious noodles?

…To admire the lovely Goth chicks of Jack Off Jill, and their feet?

…To while away the days going “Pwee, pwee, pweeweewee!” in my closet and pantry?

…To …to hunt Englebee Troobles once again???

What should I do now!?