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Sleeping in the closet

Lamented on April 22, 2007.

I, Phillip Norbert Årp, reigning as Phillip I, former monarch and emperor of Bouillabaissia, ex-king of Hogwash, former autarch of Poppycock having abdicated, protector of Alyssa Milano’s feet, Jennifer Love Hewitt’s toes, and each and every part of the five Spice Girls, Schmongelslayer, hereby resign from all positions of authority.

…And that, dear readers, is my cue to hide in the closet and cry myself to sleep. Pwee, pwee, pwee-wee-wee…