Subscribe to all of my blatherings right in your wob brewser!Subscribe to my latest blatherings right in your wob brewser! Pnårp in print! Made from 35% recycled toilet paper! Send Pnårp your garrulous praise… or excretory condemnation! The less you tweet? The more you toot! Dreaming widely about my page! Tweet! Tweet! Twat! Livin’ it up… on a living journal! A whole book full of my faces? A whole book full of my faces?
You’re my favorite visitor!

Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

Entries mentioning cows

One moron’s opinion

Opined for May 19, 2024

An antelope with a pair of cantaloupes

Hight on April 7, 2024

The stench of failure

Stunk up on March 31, 2024

A vernally hibernal good time

Drove on March 24, 2024

Pig-headed and ham-fisted

Cleaved on March 3, 2024

Seven point three hundred

Paltered on February 25, 2024

Angry monkey syndrome, a dishdirtier

Illustrated on February 4, 2024

The splaying of resplendent splendiferousness

Cobbled together on December 31, 2023

Musings on the salad of chicken and eggs

Emulsified on November 5, 2023

Mulberries, mulbiaries, mubbleducks, and mubbliaries

Trussed up on October 29, 2023

An oversized capybara, a staccato cadence

Hobbled on October 22, 2023

A real nobody

Fettered on October 15, 2023

A week of weekdays and their horrors

Manacled on October 8, 2023

A bolo tie and a blogging accident

Haberdashed on September 24, 2023

The Aroostook Roo Store

Rued the day of September 17, 2023

By fish or by Finn

Finished after September 10, 2023

Corn gone bacon and eggs

Consterned on September 3, 2023

Cwæþ the Pnårp

Jactitated on August 27, 2023

Dugongs, bleating, and a meowing Nurdlebutt

Bellyached on August 13, 2023

Omental cakes and tires (or a blunch of underwear)

Portended on July 16, 2023

Today I was being even more, more or less

Been on July 2, 2023

Gearless largesse and rageless eelgrass

Snorkeled on June 11, 2023

Being six feet tall

Fathomed on April 9, 2023

Landing head-first in March

Made it on March 5, 2023

And the rest was history

Revised for February 12, 2023

The house that Pnårp built

Stacked like cordwood on February 5, 2023

Feeling rather non-Euclidean

Knotted on January 8, 2023

I am my thoughts… I am time

Annuated on January 1, 2023

Toppings on the bottom?

Bottomed out on December 18, 2022

Thanksgiving with the McBorbleys

Thanks given on November 27, 2022

You are a crazy person

Maddened on November 20, 2022

Autumn had arrived

Floundered on October 16, 2022

A veritable trash dump of words

Whipped on September 18, 2022

History looked at me this week

Transported on September 4, 2022

Gnocco after gnocco

Knocked on on July 10, 2022

A stack of dictionaries, a goat, and the ensuing manure

Stacked high on June 26, 2022

A stubby little short week

Trolloped around on April 24, 2022

An exaggeratedly long week

Galloped about on April 17, 2022

A curious nine-day week

Dialed on April 3, 2022

Seven point two hundred

Committed on March 27, 2022

Interwoven threads of witless boobery

Spiked on February 20, 2022

Nothing happened

Obliviated on January 9, 2022

New years and new neighbors

Bunted on January 2, 2022

Vigorously shaking every ficus tree

Shook before December 12, 2021

Shouting at every houseplant

Shouted at before December 5, 2021

A Sefernday to ſurely remember

Obſerved on October 24, 2021

Plantago delenda est

Planted on October 17, 2021

Dugong, budong, hotdog, and hoe

Frowned at on October 3, 2021

Excrescence and excreta

Unfolded on September 26, 2021

And then I’ll fart one more time, and…

Intruded upon August 29, 2021

To not be a six-foot-tall man–squirrel

Squeeorled on August 15, 2021

Time to draw the bull

Ejaculated on August 1, 2021

Not a typewriter

Tabulated on July 25, 2021

An Independence Day to remember

In the pants on July 4, 2021

An infinite pie

Unbounded on June 6, 2021

The Hanes–Heinz problem

Caught up on May 2, 2021

A costly, costive dilemma

Clystered on April 4, 2021

Mooey, mooey, moo!

Lowed at on December 9, 2012

Horses, drugs, and some Volvos

Revolved around December 2, 2012

In my own back yard

Extirpated on September 30, 2012

The September that wouldn’t be

Elided on September 2, 2012

The turtle herds of insomnia

NōDōz’d on August 12, 2012

And the neckties writhed

Spiraled around July 29, 2012

The ÅSS Goose from the Machine

Bageled on July 22, 2012

Planet of the geese

Honked at on July 15, 2012

A hortensical Sefernday

Hortensed on July 1, 2012

Fungous hitchhikers from outer space

Rocketed on June 24, 2012

My neighbor—he’s on fire

Detonated on May 27, 2012

The green apple bee-bop

Hydrated on May 20, 2012

Hoarsely the Pnårp sang

Horsed around on May 13, 2012

A lunchable lemony apple key

Open-appled on April 22, 2012

Toad rental—cheap!

Rented on March 18, 2012

Axons across beard-seconds of darkness

Stretched out February 19, 2012

Thoughts converging toward reality

Diverging from January 22, 2012

And then the cold cuts danced

Ronpauled on January 15, 2012

A sally to the Kremlin

Red squared on December 11, 2011

Grunting and squeaking in the goatburping park

Soil sampled on November 13, 2011

Ten years

Hijacked on September 11, 2011

Just shaving the dog

Preened on July 31, 2011

Just so he could moo at someone

Percolated on July 3, 2011

Reflecting on corn gone wrong

Paroled on May 15, 2011

Today being Mamårp’s day

Smothered on May 8, 2011

Rotating in place

Caligulated on March 20, 2011

Pnårp.com!

Crossing Pnårp Road on March 13, 2011

A dark and stormy night

Stormdrained on February 6, 2011

Dr. Unterguggenburgerheimer!

Diagnosed on January 9, 2011

Ollanthorpe Memorial Hospital

Atrophied before October 10, 2010

Death by simultaneous drowning and dehydration

Dumbled for August 29, 2010

Ah, the first of August!

Firstly on August 1, 2010

Technicolor horse testicles

Nuked on June 27, 2010

Oh, the serendipity!

Squelched through on May 30, 2010

Glick Glick van der Glick again!

Cocked and blocked on June 15, 2008

Requiem for a haberdasher

Eulogized on June 8, 2008

eBGIQ7ZuuiU or bust

Gassed up on May 18, 2008

Gra, trained assassin

Unchained after March 23, 2008

Today is January 27

Punched on January 27, 2008

Free at last

Self-addressed and stamped on December 2, 2007

Snuffle off to Buffalo

Sniffled at on November 4, 2007

Strahazazhia smiles upon me

Gone wrong on October 28, 2007

The deep blue face of failure

Done wrong on October 21, 2007

Pnårp’s in space

Station-kept on September 30, 2007

The missing fourteenth key

Lost before July 1, 2007

Ol’ Grummie’s back!

Bungled up on June 3, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Last decree

Decreed on April 15, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Homage

Legislated on April 8, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Taxes

Propagated on April 1, 2007

The laws of Phillip I

Promulgated on March 25, 2007

The restive provinces conquered

Excoriated before March 18, 2007

131,072 Schmongeloid conscripts

Decimated on March 4, 2007

Alyssa Milano lives!

Jury-rigged on February 4, 2007

A busjacking by Jack Off Jill?

Theorized about on November 12, 2006

My new neighbor from Georgia

Nazified on April 2, 2006

The return of the garden gnomes

Star-spangled high above September 25, 2005

The perspicacious side of the planet

Wienerschnitzeled on July 24, 2005

Contemplating the Spice Girls

Best if sold by February 27, 2005

100% guaranteed

Bamboozled on February 6, 2005

The Englebee Troobles

Pondered upon August 8, 1999

Hypoglycemia and digititis have no sway over me

Intubated on May 30, 1999

I found a scrap of paper in my pocket

Rebutted on May 23, 1999