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Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

hats

Things I mount atop my curiously pointy head!

Entries mentioning hats

And then the flies danced

Smelt on October 2, 2022

“If” is the middle word in “life”

Horrified on September 11, 2022

Pinguid penguins, disparate parrots, and a Studebaker

Basted on August 28, 2022

On any given day

Plotted and schemed on August 21, 2022

Up to my ass in alligators

Endangered on August 7, 2022

A stack of dictionaries, a goat, and the ensuing manure

Stacked high on June 26, 2022

A squiddy meal, a goosey girl, and moles of gnomes

Wriggled on June 5, 2022

An exaggeratedly long week

Galloped about on April 17, 2022

The stars screamed at me, but why?

Shredded on March 6, 2022

An arduous, odorous, ordurous affair

Cannibalized on February 27, 2022

Three-eyed gnomes, a lighthouse, and a pair of feet

Erred on February 13, 2022

Carpathian Carpentry Gnomes? In my kitchen?

Hammered on February 6, 2022

The door slammed in my face

Slammed on January 30, 2022

Confound delivery

Starched on January 16, 2022

New years and new neighbors

Bunted on January 2, 2022

Collecting the caps from every bottle of light cream

Collected before December 26, 2021

Shouting at every houseplant

Shouted at before December 5, 2021

A Halloween to surely forget

Spooked before November 7, 2021

Plantago delenda est

Planted on October 17, 2021

Excrescence and excreta

Unfolded on September 26, 2021

Wearing orange after Labor Day

Fluoresced on September 5, 2021

To not be a six-foot-tall man–squirrel

Squeeorled on August 15, 2021

Time to draw the bull

Ejaculated on August 1, 2021

José Vargas de las Joyas Matemáticas

Divided by zero on June 13, 2021

Great Dane or greatest Dane?

Deigned on May 23, 2021

A dire problem of diphthongs and diacritics

Ired on May 16, 2021

200,000 flip-flop–related injuries

Discalceated on May 9, 2021

Keeping those goats down in the hole

Bored on April 18, 2021

Christmas, goats, and the fiscal cliff

Goat got on December 30, 2012

This coming Friday…

Prognosticated after December 16, 2012

Mooey, mooey, moo!

Lowed at on December 9, 2012

Horses, drugs, and some Volvos

Revolved around December 2, 2012

A paean to funnels

Funneled on November 25, 2012

Ziti—with lines, please

Lollygagged on October 28, 2012

In my own back yard

Extirpated on September 30, 2012

And the neckties writhed

Spiraled around July 29, 2012

The ÅSS Goose from the Machine

Bageled on July 22, 2012

Fungous hitchhikers from outer space

Rocketed on June 24, 2012

I am the humperdumperdink!

Dumped and dinked on June 10, 2012

My neighbor—he’s on fire

Detonated on May 27, 2012

Hoarsely the Pnårp sang

Horsed around on May 13, 2012

Vox clamantis in deserto

Cheddared on May 6, 2012

Gurning for two

Faces made before April 8, 2012

To order a coffee

Caffeinated on March 25, 2012

Axons across beard-seconds of darkness

Stretched out February 19, 2012

This entry is missing!

Misplaced before January 8, 2012

Dreams in a hole in the ground

Trespassed before January 1, 2012

A trip to southern Moravia

Plunged off a cliff on November 27, 2011

Goatburping and speechifying

Blustered about before November 20, 2011

Grunting and squeaking in the goatburping park

Soil sampled on November 13, 2011

Like a herd of turtles

Frightened on November 6, 2011

Fimbriated armless and legless

Charged on October 30, 2011

A snootful of donuts

Imbibed before October 2, 2011

The toadskin kazoo

Toads skinned on September 4, 2011

What the heck… is bothering me?

Chanted on June 12, 2011

Today being Mamårp’s day

Smothered on May 8, 2011

A dark and smarmy night

Self-satisfied on February 13, 2011

The Christ-O-Mart on Crunkner Boulevard

Transubstantiated before January 16, 2011

Back to Pam & Meg’s

Goatmulched on December 12, 2010

Parndiddle McForsterbaster

Pinned up on September 5, 2010

Technicolor horse testicles

Nuked on June 27, 2010

A little pedicatio

Irrumated on May 16, 2010

Ham by the brick

Mechanically extracted on March 28, 2010

Pnårp’s in space

Station-kept on September 30, 2007

Why does the pi float?

Floated by on September 23, 2007

Grumfeld redux

Simmered on September 2, 2007

Indeed I can go home again

Returned home on August 26, 2007

Paisley time

Enslaved on June 17, 2007

Back to Harry’s

Ingratiated on June 10, 2007

Ol’ Grummie’s back!

Bungled up on June 3, 2007

No one expects the Schmalkaldic League

Vanquished on February 25, 2007

Alyssa Milano lives!

Jury-rigged on February 4, 2007

Suing Alyssa Milano

Bombarded after January 14, 2007

’Twas the night before Christmas

Prostituted on December 24, 2006

Bloviating and brachiating

Wrenched away from me on December 3, 2006

Britney Spears… or Jennifer Love Hewitt?

Rigorously proved for November 26, 2006

Gnomelandia Day

Filleted on October 15, 2006

The Third Coming

Chopped lightly on October 8, 2006

Ollanthorpe Savings Bank

Puréed on October 1, 2006

New Gardegnomia

Navigated to on July 30, 2006

Captain Pinnfarb explains it all

Positioned left of June 18, 2006

The wall gong exhibition

Molested on June 11, 2006

The dingleberry/hamster song

Sung for April 30, 2006

The haberdashery, act I

Taunted on March 5, 2006

Ham and eggs, a dram of megs

Hammed up for February 26, 2006

368,000 firecrackers and a butcher shop

Tarpapered over on January 1, 2006

Thaddeus C.L. Harshbarger, the haberdasher

Belted out on December 4, 2005

My house burned down today

Incinerated on November 20, 2005

I shall visit Eigentoria

Bandied about on October 30, 2005

The thick, meaty center of an eigenfactor

Ridiculed on October 23, 2005

The return of the garden gnomes

Star-spangled high above September 25, 2005

The perspicacious side of the planet

Wienerschnitzeled on July 24, 2005

I slithered blithely out the door

Fetishized on July 3, 2005

The stars scream at me louder than ever!!

Suspended from October 24, 1999

No kind of Trooble infatuates anyone

Fondled on August 22, 1999

The Englebee Troobles

Pondered upon August 8, 1999

I love AOL

Placated since August 1, 1999