Subscribe to all of my blatherings right in your wob browser!Subscribe to my latest 25 blatherings right in your wob browser! Pnårp in print! Made from 35% recycled toilet paper! Send Pnårp your garrulous praise… or excretory condemnation! Tweet! Tweet! Twat! Livin’ it up… on a living journal! A whole book full of my faces? Where gravity itself gets its blog avatar! Red dits? Red edits? Read its…!?
You’re my favorite visitor!

Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

Entries mentioning fish

And then the flies danced

Smelt on October 2, 2022

Yet still bereft of meaning

Creamed on September 25, 2022

“If” is the middle word in “life”

Horrified on September 11, 2022

History looked at me this week

Transported on September 4, 2022

Pinguid penguins, disparate parrots, and a Studebaker

Basted on August 28, 2022

On any given day

Plotted and schemed on August 21, 2022

Catastrophes—but no anastrophe

Mishappened on August 14, 2022

Squirrels, squeeorling, syrup of squill, and squee

Cocked up on July 24, 2022

The long, greasy road

Lubed up on July 3, 2022

Wernicke, Broca, and a two-week, drug-fueled bender

Refueled on June 19, 2022

Batting the package

Semiquavered on May 15, 2022

Whittling the knittery

Quavered on May 8, 2022

Flogging the dinosaur

Flailed around on May 1, 2022

An exaggeratedly long week

Galloped about on April 17, 2022

A wanted carton of wontons

Trotted out on April 10, 2022

A curious nine-day week

Dialed on April 3, 2022

Seven point two hundred

Committed on March 27, 2022

The twentieth best day of my life

Easily understood on March 20, 2022

A hilarious pair of ducks

Redpilled on March 13, 2022

The stars screamed at me, but why?

Shredded on March 6, 2022

Interwoven threads of witless boobery

Spiked on February 20, 2022

Three-eyed gnomes, a lighthouse, and a pair of feet

Erred on February 13, 2022

The door slammed in my face

Slammed on January 30, 2022

Hard avocados and soft stones

Ripened on January 23, 2022

Confound delivery

Starched on January 16, 2022

Nothing happened

Obliviated on January 9, 2022

New years and new neighbors

Bunted on January 2, 2022

Vigorously shaking every ficus tree

Shook before December 12, 2021

Shouting at every houseplant

Shouted at before December 5, 2021

An adventure in Dingleberry–Dumpsterism

Dumped and stirred on November 28, 2021

The Dingleberry–Hampsterist–Schmarnocks war

Embattled on November 21, 2021

An out-of-place trashcan

Recycled on November 14, 2021

A Halloween to surely forget

Spooked before November 7, 2021

To muffle up a gooſe

Muffled up on October 31, 2021

A Sefernday to ſurely remember

Obſerved on October 24, 2021

Plantago delenda est

Planted on October 17, 2021

Dugong, budong, hotdog, and hoe

Frowned at on October 3, 2021

Losing weight at the lost-and-found

Bonked on September 19, 2021

The pink, sticky day ended

Chaptered and versed on September 12, 2021

Wearing orange after Labor Day

Fluoresced on September 5, 2021

And then I’ll fart one more time, and…

Intruded upon August 29, 2021

To not be a six-foot-tall man–squirrel

Squeeorled on August 15, 2021

Today I was being a…

Squirreled on August 8, 2021

Time to draw the bull

Ejaculated on August 1, 2021

Fish upon the land

Phished on July 18, 2021

An Independence Day to remember

In the pants on July 4, 2021

To narfle the gömböc

Balanced on June 27, 2021

Another day, another pig war

Splined on June 20, 2021

An infinite pie

Unbounded on June 6, 2021

Great Dane or greatest Dane?

Deigned on May 23, 2021

A dire problem of diphthongs and diacritics

Ired on May 16, 2021

Keeping those goats down in the hole

Bored on April 18, 2021

From Commodus to Vespasian—

Detruded on April 11, 2021

A costly, costive dilemma

Clystered on April 4, 2021

Toiling away smoilishly

Toiled away on March 14, 2021

Christmas, goats, and the fiscal cliff

Goat got on December 30, 2012

Mooey, mooey, moo!

Lowed at on December 9, 2012

Horses, drugs, and some Volvos

Revolved around December 2, 2012

A paean to funnels

Funneled on November 25, 2012

A parable that should explain everything

Enchanted on November 18, 2012

The geese were angry

Angered before November 4, 2012

Ziti—with lines, please

Lollygagged on October 28, 2012

The nauga war

Tanned on October 14, 2012

Meals and utensils and straws, oh my!

Bluely rinsed on October 7, 2012

In my own back yard

Extirpated on September 30, 2012

Livin’ large in the large intestine

Emboweled on September 23, 2012

Fungous hitchhikers from outer space

Rocketed on June 24, 2012

The Bagel Nebula, you stinky monkeys!

Humped and dumped on June 17, 2012

My neighbor—he’s on fire

Detonated on May 27, 2012

The green apple bee-bop

Hydrated on May 20, 2012

Vox clamantis in deserto

Cheddared on May 6, 2012

A box! A box! A box of…

Puttered about on April 15, 2012

Gurning for two

Faces made before April 8, 2012

Surviving April Fools Day

Foxholed on April 1, 2012

Toad rental—cheap!

Rented on March 18, 2012

Axons across beard-seconds of darkness

Stretched out February 19, 2012

A Ho-Mg-Zn icosahedral quasicrystal

Fractured on February 12, 2012

Seven point one hundred

Released on February 5, 2012

Thoughts converging toward reality

Diverging from January 22, 2012

This entry is missing!

Misplaced before January 8, 2012

A jaunt to Washington, D.C.

Filibustered on December 4, 2011

A trip to southern Moravia

Plunged off a cliff on November 27, 2011

Goatburping and speechifying

Blustered about before November 20, 2011

Grunting and squeaking in the goatburping park

Soil sampled on November 13, 2011

Schtumpfenfrumpt!

Stumped on October 16, 2011

A snootful of donuts

Imbibed before October 2, 2011

The toadskin kazoo

Toads skinned on September 4, 2011

A stick of pepperoni a day

Bordured on August 21, 2011

The day ended

Gibbered about on August 7, 2011

Just so he could moo at someone

Percolated on July 3, 2011

The end of doodlewhacker pie

Bloomed on June 26, 2011

Moobly Sefernday!

Borndwiddied on June 19, 2011

What the heck… is bothering me?

Chanted on June 12, 2011

Incipits being rather popish

Lubricated on May 22, 2011

Today being Mamårp’s day

Smothered on May 8, 2011

Hnnnngggghhhh!

Strained on May 1, 2011

Dyssynergic defecation

Splashed down on April 24, 2011

Plårp and I did our best

Potted on April 10, 2011

A dark and Strommy night

Thurmonned on February 27, 2011

A dark and smarmy night

Self-satisfied on February 13, 2011

A dark and stormy night

Stormdrained on February 6, 2011

Happy birthday, Alyssa Milano!

Feet worshipped on December 19, 2010

Back to Pam & Meg’s

Goatmulched on December 12, 2010

An alabasterously magnificent find

Found before December 5, 2010

375 gorillas and some flower pots

Dumbstruck on November 28, 2010

Mr. Årp goes to city hall

Carpetbagged on November 14, 2010

A crater full of Volvos

Hidden in ice for centuries on October 31, 2010

Two stumblebums for Phillip Norbert Årp

Stumbled around on August 8, 2010

Noshing on my favorite keyboard

Fluttered on July 4, 2010

Psycho Chicken With Fingers On Top!

Squawked upon prior to June 13, 2010

Joyful Sefernday, everyone!

Envisaged on June 6, 2010

Oh, the serendipity!

Squelched through on May 30, 2010

Thousands of Eggmen against one little Pnårp

Destalinized on May 2, 2010

A plan is hatched

Hatched right before April 4, 2010

Ham by the brick

Mechanically extracted on March 28, 2010

Dingleberry champion hamster

Plotted against on March 21, 2010

A Hilarius pair of ducks

Guffawed at after March 14, 2010

Dog whelks in your arteries

Derived on July 6, 2008

Glick Glick van der Glick again!

Cocked and blocked on June 15, 2008

Do, guppy, guppy!

Guppied on May 4, 2008

Suddenly ablaze

Ignited on March 9, 2008

A whole pile of flapdoodles from Shitlingthorpe

Recollected on February 17, 2008

A pox upon your whizgiggling!

Avenged on February 10, 2008

A whiz and a giggle

Whizgiggled at on February 3, 2008

Today is January 27

Prevaricated on January 27, 2008

Gnomes? In my kettles?

Nonsensed at January 20, 2008

Aaaahhhh!!

Whiffled on November 25, 2007

The one true goddess!

Duffeled on November 18, 2007

There’s nothing in my head!

Scuffled with on November 11, 2007

Snuffle off to Buffalo

Sniffled at on November 4, 2007

Strahazazhia smiles upon me

Gone wrong on October 28, 2007

The deep blue face of failure

Done wrong on October 21, 2007

Pnårp’s in space

Station-kept on September 30, 2007

Press any key

Pressed on June 24, 2007

Paisley time

Enslaved on June 17, 2007

Ol’ Grummie’s back!

Bungled up on June 3, 2007

Ravna and a ligature

Magic-marked on May 20, 2007

Sleeping in the closet

Lamented on April 22, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Last decree

Decreed on April 15, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Homage

Legislated on April 8, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Taxes

Propagated on April 1, 2007

The laws of Phillip I

Promulgated on March 25, 2007

The restive provinces conquered

Excoriated before March 18, 2007

Eight years

Anniversed four days before March 11, 2007

131,072 Schmongeloid conscripts

Decimated on March 4, 2007

No one expects the Schmalkaldic League

Vanquished on February 25, 2007

Digging up the back yard

Cashed in on February 18, 2007

Fort Flabberwocky was a myth!

Auld acquaintances forgotten on December 31, 2006

The Great Fluffernutter Deluge of ’58

Whored out on December 10, 2006

I remembered a lot this week!

Chopped with a stick on September 24, 2006

Terrorists! Terrorists!!

Sporked with some tongs on September 17, 2006

Haldûrburðgar, Lord and Emperor

Knifed with a spoon on September 10, 2006

New Gardegnomia

Navigated to on July 30, 2006

A disastrous pie-eating contest

Drawn and quartered on July 16, 2006

The wall gong exhibition

Molested on June 11, 2006

Hobnobbishly bamboozled, she said

Interrupted before February 5, 2006

Thaddeus C.L. Harshbarger, the haberdasher

Belted out on December 4, 2005

Caught in a wet noodling contest

Noodled on October 16, 2005

The return of Grårp

Cordoned off on September 18, 2005

Spruce mustard and bouillabaisse

Trundled on August 28, 2005

I desire broadband access to my feet!

Quibbled about on March 27, 2005

Alyssa Milano still has very cute feet

Reeducated on February 20, 2005

100% guaranteed

Bamboozled on February 6, 2005

Searching forever for the elusive Troobles

Squandered because of October 31, 1999

The Englebee Troobles

Pondered upon August 8, 1999

Dangerous evidence kept cropping up

Regurgitated prior to May 16, 1999