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Pnårp’s docile & perfunctory page

Entries mentioning sex

So many questions

Trebled on April 21, 2024

An antelope with a pair of cantaloupes

Hight on April 7, 2024

The stench of failure

Stunk up on March 31, 2024

A vernally hibernal good time

Drove on March 24, 2024

There’s a joke in here somewhere

Pedicured on March 17, 2024

Pig-headed and ham-fisted

Cleaved on March 3, 2024

Angry monkey syndrome, a dishdirtier

Illustrated on February 4, 2024

Watering the water clocks

Watered on January 28, 2024

Shaken and stir crazy

Swept on January 21, 2024

My life as a computer

Computed on January 14, 2024

The splaying of resplendent splendiferousness

Cobbled together on December 31, 2023

A byte nybbled a word, and then…

Nibbled on December 10, 2023

Snow crabs and snow leopards

Piled up upon December 3, 2023

Musings on the salad of chicken and eggs

Emulsified on November 5, 2023

An oversized capybara, a staccato cadence

Hobbled on October 22, 2023

A real nobody

Fettered on October 15, 2023

A week of weekdays and their horrors

Manacled on October 8, 2023

For want of a letterbox

Shackled on October 1, 2023

A bolo tie and a blogging accident

Haberdashed on September 24, 2023

By fish or by Finn

Finished after September 10, 2023

Corn gone bacon and eggs

Consterned on September 3, 2023

Negotiating a goats-for-oats deal

Abnegated on August 20, 2023

Playing a katydid like a fiddle

Diddled on August 6, 2023

Rejecting both Church Latin and the Ciceronian

Conjugated on July 30, 2023

Ratiocination and a rat

Bugged off on July 9, 2023

Dogs that ate backwards

Reversed on June 25, 2023

Chicken dickin’ good!

Kennedy-fried on June 18, 2023

It doesn’t have to—but I always do

Needn’t on June 4, 2023

Crap! Carp! Scrap! Scarp!

Sworn on May 21, 2023

Tuna surprise

Surprised on May 14, 2023

Why fish don’t have feet

Expiscated on May 7, 2023

Being a little bit taller

Racked on April 16, 2023

Being six feet tall

Fathomed on April 9, 2023

The unwary victim of cellular ennui

Metabolized on April 2, 2023

The day ended before it began

Endorsed on March 19, 2023

To be a featureless white worm

Gouged out on March 12, 2023

Landing head-first in March

Made it on March 5, 2023

To catch a fly

Lashed on February 26, 2023

And the rest was history

Revised for February 12, 2023

The house that Pnårp built

Stacked like cordwood on February 5, 2023

A mystery of hasps and coat hangers

Fastened on January 29, 2023

Thinking for myself

Cerebrated on January 22, 2023

No more barriers to cross

Surpassed on January 15, 2023

Feeling rather non-Euclidean

Knotted on January 8, 2023

A real galleyshnogger of a Christmas

Dove in on December 25, 2022

Toppings on the bottom?

Bottomed out on December 18, 2022

We were bipedal murder chickens

Corned on December 11, 2022

Al Gore: A User’s Manual

Peered at on December 4, 2022

Thanksgiving with the McBorbleys

Thanks given on November 27, 2022

You are a crazy person

Maddened on November 20, 2022

With a ploot, ploot, ploot!

Born on November 6, 2022

A draught horse, serendipity, and a bankruptcy

Forstraught on October 30, 2022

I wish my spoons were stronger

Snooped on October 23, 2022

Autumn had arrived

Floundered on October 16, 2022

The deep toaster

Smeared on October 9, 2022

And then the flies danced

Smelt on October 2, 2022

Two halves of a bagel

Misaligned on July 31, 2022

Squirrels, squeeorling, syrup of squill, and squee

Cocked up on July 24, 2022

Tuck in flap to close

Knocked up on July 17, 2022

A stack of dictionaries, a goat, and the ensuing manure

Stacked high on June 26, 2022

Wernicke, Broca, and a two-week, drug-fueled bender

Refueled on June 19, 2022

Fleas, flies, and friars!

Peddled on June 12, 2022

A squiddy meal, a goosey girl, and moles of gnomes

Wriggled on June 5, 2022

Whittling the knittery

Quavered on May 8, 2022

Flogging the dinosaur

Flailed around on May 1, 2022

A curious nine-day week

Dialed on April 3, 2022

Seven point two hundred

Committed on March 27, 2022

The twentieth best day of my life

Easily understood on March 20, 2022

A hilarious pair of ducks

Redpilled on March 13, 2022

An arduous, odorous, ordurous affair

Cannibalized on February 27, 2022

Interwoven threads of witless boobery

Spiked on February 20, 2022

Three-eyed gnomes, a lighthouse, and a pair of feet

Erred on February 13, 2022

Collecting the caps from every bottle of light cream

Collected before December 26, 2021

Shouting at every houseplant

Shouted at before December 5, 2021

The Dingleberry–Hampsterist–Schmarnocks war

Embattled on November 21, 2021

A Sefernday to ſurely remember

Obſerved on October 24, 2021

Losing weight at the lost-and-found

Bonked on September 19, 2021

To not be a six-foot-tall man–squirrel

Squeeorled on August 15, 2021

Time to draw the bull

Ejaculated on August 1, 2021

My arm just follows them

Detached on July 11, 2021

Great Dane or greatest Dane?

Deigned on May 23, 2021

A costly, costive dilemma

Clystered on April 4, 2021

Christmas, goats, and the fiscal cliff

Goat got on December 30, 2012

This coming Friday…

Prognosticated after December 16, 2012

Mooey, mooey, moo!

Lowed at on December 9, 2012

Horses, drugs, and some Volvos

Revolved around December 2, 2012

The geese were angry

Angered before November 4, 2012

Meals and utensils and straws, oh my!

Bluely rinsed on October 7, 2012

My competitive worm charming days

Vermiculated on August 26, 2012

The turtle herds of insomnia

NōDōz’d on August 12, 2012

Upon the Fimbriated Planet

Flabbled about on August 5, 2012

And the neckties writhed

Spiraled around July 29, 2012

The ÅSS Goose from the Machine

Bageled on July 22, 2012

Fungous hitchhikers from outer space

Rocketed on June 24, 2012

The Bagel Nebula, you stinky monkeys!

Humped and dumped on June 17, 2012

I am the humperdumperdink!

Dumped and dinked on June 10, 2012

My skin was thinking

Considered for June 3, 2012

The green apple bee-bop

Hydrated on May 20, 2012

Vox clamantis in deserto

Cheddared on May 6, 2012

The death of Argo Navis

Trisected before April 29, 2012

A lunchable lemony apple key

Open-appled on April 22, 2012

A box! A box! A box of…

Puttered about on April 15, 2012

Surviving April Fools Day

Foxholed on April 1, 2012

To order a coffee

Caffeinated on March 25, 2012

A Ho-Mg-Zn icosahedral quasicrystal

Fractured on February 12, 2012

Thoughts diverging from reality

Converging on January 29, 2012

And then the cold cuts danced

Ronpauled on January 15, 2012

This entry is missing!

Misplaced before January 8, 2012

Dreams in a hole in the ground

Trespassed before January 1, 2012

A sleigh ride to the North Pole

Kringled on December 25, 2011

A journey to Upper Silesia

Gruelled on December 18, 2011

A jaunt to Washington, D.C.

Filibustered on December 4, 2011

A trip to southern Moravia

Plunged off a cliff on November 27, 2011

Goatburping and speechifying

Blustered about before November 20, 2011

Grunting and squeaking in the goatburping park

Soil sampled on November 13, 2011

Like a herd of turtles

Frightened on November 6, 2011

Fimbriated armless and legless

Charged on October 30, 2011

Schtumpfenfrumpt!

Stumped on October 16, 2011

Gnomes? In my photocopier?

Litigated before September 18, 2011

Disgorgement and cheddar

Squassated on July 24, 2011

Just so he could moo at someone

Percolated on July 3, 2011

The end of doodlewhacker pie

Bloomed on June 26, 2011

Moobly Sefernday!

Borndwiddied on June 19, 2011

Potted meat

Unpotted on June 5, 2011

Reflecting on corn gone wrong

Paroled on May 15, 2011

Today being Mamårp’s day

Smothered on May 8, 2011

Hnnnngggghhhh!

Strained on May 1, 2011

Dyssynergic defecation

Splashed down on April 24, 2011

The tight, grimacing face

Impacted before April 17, 2011

Plårp and I did our best

Potted on April 10, 2011

Sigmund Freud would be proud

Electrified on April 3, 2011

Cool beans

Beaned on March 27, 2011

Rotating in place

Caligulated on March 20, 2011

Pnårp.com!

Crossing Pnårp Road on March 13, 2011

The hobnailery on Hobgoblin Street

Borfnagled on March 6, 2011

A dark and Strommy night

Thurmonned on February 27, 2011

A dark and spammy night

LARTed on February 20, 2011

A dark and smarmy night

Self-satisfied on February 13, 2011

A dark and stormy night

Stormdrained on February 6, 2011

Requiem for a triangular briefcase

Immured on January 30, 2011

In feckless search of a new body

Transplanted before January 23, 2011

The Christ-O-Mart on Crunkner Boulevard

Transubstantiated before January 16, 2011

Dr. Unterguggenburgerheimer!

Diagnosed on January 9, 2011

Fluffernutter… or treacle?

Stickied on January 2, 2011

A vainglorious, hooting, tooting Christmas

Clamored about on December 26, 2010

Happy birthday, Alyssa Milano!

Feet worshipped on December 19, 2010

Back to Pam & Meg’s

Goatmulched on December 12, 2010

An alabasterously magnificent find

Found before December 5, 2010

375 gorillas and some flower pots

Dumbstruck on November 28, 2010

Ravna and a tub of port wine cheese spread

Slathered all over on November 21, 2010

Mr. Årp goes to city hall

Carpetbagged on November 14, 2010

Insidious flobcumber pie

Perchanced upon on September 19, 2010

Skipping Wednesday

Slid past on September 12, 2010

Parndiddle McForsterbaster

Pinned up on September 5, 2010

Death by simultaneous drowning and dehydration

Dumbled for August 29, 2010

Tater-totting crunkfire

Clapped on… clapped off on August 22, 2010

Ah, the first of August!

Firstly on August 1, 2010

Poesies and toesies indeed!

Tentacle-raped on July 25, 2010

PNARP.SYS is an evil, vile thing

Disinfected on June 20, 2010

Psycho Chicken With Fingers On Top!

Squawked upon prior to June 13, 2010

Joyful Sefernday, everyone!

Envisaged on June 6, 2010

A little pedicatio

Irrumated on May 16, 2010

The fleeting nuances of Dingleberry–Hampsterism

Guzzled on May 9, 2010

I had eggs today!

Oviposited on April 18, 2010

Dingleberry champion hamster

Plotted against on March 21, 2010

Return from the Brundlebeyond

Disgorged on March 7, 2010

Dog whelks in your arteries

Derived on July 6, 2008

Glick Glick van der Glick again!

Cocked and blocked on June 15, 2008

Requiem for a haberdasher

Eulogized on June 8, 2008

eBGIQ7ZuuiU or bust

Gassed up on May 18, 2008

Short and sweet!

Sweetened on April 27, 2008

Dying planktonic foraminifera

Rained down on April 13, 2008

Gra, trained assassin

Unchained after March 23, 2008

Suddenly ablaze

Ignited on March 9, 2008

Not so dead again

Recomposed right before March 2, 2008

Today is January 27

Punched on January 27, 2008

Gnomes? In my kettles?

Nonsensed at January 20, 2008

Lo’ Kweeisha

Pornographed on January 13, 2008

Bubble wrap and bubble butts

Thawed on January 6, 2008

The one true goddess!

Duffeled on November 18, 2007

There’s nothing in my head!

Scuffled with on November 11, 2007

Snuffle off to Buffalo

Sniffled at on November 4, 2007

Strahazazhia smiles upon me

Gone wrong on October 28, 2007

The deep blue face of failure

Done wrong on October 21, 2007

Pnårp’s in space

Station-kept on September 30, 2007

Why do the stars scream?

Screamed about on September 16, 2007

Indeed I can go home again

Returned home on August 26, 2007

Dugongs abound in my ear canals!

Tiled over on August 19, 2007

The missing fourteenth key

Lost before July 1, 2007

Press any key

Pressed on June 24, 2007

Paisley time

Enslaved on June 17, 2007

Back to Harry’s

Ingratiated on June 10, 2007

Ol’ Grummie’s back!

Bungled up on June 3, 2007

Ravna and the gorillas

Ravished on May 27, 2007

Ravna and a ligature

Magic-marked on May 20, 2007

Squish-&-honk!

Peppered lightly with May 13, 2007

Further visages of feet-&-toes

Hieroticalized on May 6, 2007

Toe-visages on the Sefernday

Splayed on April 29, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Last decree

Decreed on April 15, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Homage

Legislated on April 8, 2007

The laws of Phillip I: Taxes

Propagated on April 1, 2007

The laws of Phillip I

Promulgated on March 25, 2007

The restive provinces conquered

Excoriated before March 18, 2007

Alyssa Milano lives!

Jury-rigged on February 4, 2007

Music erupted from my bed cushions again

Strafed on January 7, 2007

Fort Flabberwocky was a myth!

Auld acquaintances forgotten on December 31, 2006

The Great Fluffernutter Deluge of ’58

Whored out on December 10, 2006

A busjacking by Jack Off Jill?

Theorized about on November 12, 2006

Jacking off Jill to a squirrel-fox-dingo

Hypothesized on November 5, 2006

Busy: Ankle-crawling kudzu

Toddled about on August 27, 2006

Busy: A whole flock of geese

Goosed before August 20, 2006

As kudzu crept up her ankles

Encircled on August 13, 2006

Gormless bastard!

Located to the right of June 25, 2006

The wall gong exhibition

Molested on June 11, 2006

A cock-up, to be sure

Erected on June 4, 2006

Oatmeal cookies and their spies

Weeded on May 21, 2006

My oatmeal cookies

Surveilled pursuant to May 7, 2006

Pam & Meg’s

Wheeled about on April 23, 2006

My new neighbor from Georgia

Nazified on April 2, 2006

The haberdashery, act IV

Wanted on March 26, 2006

The haberdashery, act III

Haunted on March 19, 2006

The haberdashery, act II

Flaunted on March 12, 2006

Busy this week too!

Put out on January 29, 2006

Busy this week!

Placed next to January 22, 2006

She isn’t dead!

Copulated after January 15, 2006

Today being Christmas…

Made merry on December 25, 2005

Thaddeus C.L. Harshbarger, the haberdasher

Belted out on December 4, 2005

The return of the garden gnomes

Star-spangled high above September 25, 2005

Abortifacient skies, the burning air

Slobbered all over on September 11, 2005

I’m ending it all!

Spindled on August 21, 2005

What an Englebee Trooble is

Incarcerated on June 12, 2005

Someone accused me of screwing a pheasant

Remixed before September 12, 1999

Is there an underdog in you?

Nitrated on July 18, 1999

Semper sic tyrannis

Calculated and compiled on May 2, 1999